Welfare Queens
I'm trying really hard to not believe this myth, because I know people legitimately need help. However, with the exception of myself, brother, and gramma, the rest of my family IS the myth. I cannot tolerate most of the people I'm related to.
My sis is 22, single and has had 2 children. One she thankfully gave up for adoption, the other my gramma has custody of. She still gets $500+ a month in food stamps for children she doesn't even have custody of. She lives with er bf, who makes as much if not more $ as my DH, and still begs my gramma for cash. It makes me sick. I know their bills (ads up to much less that ours) and there is no way they need to be begging my poor gramma for money when she has my niece and doesn't even get state aid. I don't know what crap they spend their $$ on, but they need to stop mooching.
It's really coloring my perception, and I wish it weren't.
Re: Welfare Queens
I don't envy my sister. I think I'm mostly angry that she's mooching off of my Gramma, whom I've lovingly dubbed Mary Poppins. She's the sweetest woman, and is raising my niece. I hate when anything negative happens with her.
I never said this wasn't flame worthy. It's just that I grew up on welfare, and literally everyone I've known that has been on it (which is a lot of people) has abused it. I need to meet new people or something. I don't want my stupid anecdotes to color my opinion on something that is truly needed.
Life is anecdotal, IMO. Just know that there are people out there who lost a job, and welfare was a saving grace for them. Those people exist. Everyone is not abusing the system. And even the ones you think are abusing the system, you don't know all the details of their life. People let you see what they want you to see. The only life you have all the details is your own.
Both, many many many times. My gramma's heart is too big to say no, and my sister is narcissistic and threatens that when she gets my niece back she'll run off with her and no one will see her again. I know it's something I can't do anything about, but it bugs me just the same.
At some point, you have to accept that grandma is in charge of her own damned destiny. You can't make grandma stop giving money to these people any more than you can stop these people from being useless.
Also, my uncle and grandfather are the only felons I know. Neither would hurt a child but both were definitely guilty. By that definition, there are absolutely no innocent men in prison and criminals never hurt kids.
Click me, click me!
Click me, click me!
I'm sorry I was so vague. The planet where she lives with a bf that makes more than DH, have less debt and no kids. We make far too much to qualify for food stamps. An extra $500 a month in our LCOL area would be completely disposable.
Plus remember, that she receives it for 2 children that she neither has, nor pays for. I think that's what really burns me. She' being provided with money to feed 2 children. Not only is she not feeding said children, she's taking food from one of them, by begging Gramma for money (said gramma has that child and provides for her completely on her own with no aid.)
If the food stamps were just for her, I couldn't care less. However it's for more than her.
I don't know if I'm making any sense. Probably not. And yes, I'm probably an ass. I know I can't change what's happening, but that doesn't mean I can't be angry that my grandmother is being used, and that my sister is the one doing it.
You need to remember that it's not really fraud because she has a BF with deep pockets. She qualifies on HER income. Not that of her BF. If she were married then that would be an entirely different ball of wax.
As to who has custody of the children, I can't answer because I don't know if the state actually removed one child from your sis or that child just lives with granny. Now, if you want, you can report her if that makes you feel better. You can let them know she doesn't have custody of her kids.
The state has actually removed the children from her custody. One child has been in foster care, and is in the process of being adopted. Sis still claims this child for food stamps.
The other child is in Grandma's custody, legally. Sister also claims this child for food stamps.
If she were to claim only herself, the amount would be much lower. If she were to bring food to Gramma's for her daughter I guess I wouldn't mind so much. But she doesn't and then tells Gramma that her and bf are broke and need money.
I don't know. My brain is all crazy right now, dealing with so much stuff. I need a vacation, then maybe I wouldn't be such a judgey cow.