Multiples

Loss of a Twin

Hi guys,

This is my first pregnancy, I just found out yesterday (21 weeks pregnant) that I lost one of my fraternal twin boys. I had no symptoms or anything, so this was pure shock. (My last appointment was 2 weeks ago, and everything was looking great). They found no heart beat and no movement. I am feeling a lot of mixed emotions. I am very upset over the loss, yet thankful that I still have one healthy baby, but nervous that the same will happen to him. The doctors had no explanation for what happened and why..They checked his placenta and everything looked healthy. I have heard that this happens alot.. It is just very hard to deal with.. Has anyone ever gone through the same, or have any advise for coping? Sad

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Re: Loss of a Twin

  • I'm sorry I can't offer any advice or knowledge, but did want to express my sincerest sympathies.  I can't imagine how upset you must be.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  <<hugs>>
  • I have no advice for you, just wanted to say that my heart is breaking for you, I am so sorry for your loss. Praying that your surviving baby is able to keep cooking and stays healthy. Hugs!
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  • I'm so very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family.

  • That's awful :( Make sure you visit the loss board and seek out support there, too :( 

    I haven't been through anything similar... being around the same gestation, I can say that I empathize deeply, and the pain you must feel would be overwhelming for me. 

    I don't know about late-loss of a twin, but I do believe that the surviving twin has at least a 60% chance of going to term, and they will reach the realm of viability much sooner than that - so take comfort knowing that the odds are good that your fighter baby will make it into this world. 

    I am so terribly saddened to hear about your loss. I truly hope that you have all of the support and love you need right now, and I wish you the very best for your little one.  

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    *Spontaneous* OHSS diagnosed 08.06.2012
    Right ovary removed 09.04.2012 via vertical laparotomy
    Essure implant placed on remaining tube 06.13.2013; successful followup scan 09.30.2013


  • I have no advise, but wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.

                          

    PAIFW/SAIFW

    DS1 born July 2002 (previous marriage).

    TTC since Oct 08. DH Dx w/testicular cancer March 09.
    MFI due to retrograde ejaculation/azoospermia.
    5/2 IVF #1 cancelled due to large follie.
    6/14 start Lupron for IVF #1.2. 6/22 start stims.
    7/4 ER and Biopsy.
    7/9 Transferred 2 (1-4BB and 1-3BB) embryos.  4 frosties.
    7/15 +HPT 6dp5dt. 7/18 Beta #1: 193. 7/20 Beta #2: 415.
    8/10 1st u/s - It's triplets!

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  • I am so very sorry for your loss.

    One of the ladies I work with lost a twin around 24-26 weeks and she went on to have a healthy baby girl who is now 4 years old.

  • I am so sorry for your loss.  I can't imagine what you must be going through.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your healthy baby boy.

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. 
    image image
    TTC #1 since May 2010. BFP #1 - 5/31/10; m/c on 7/22/10
    Started seeing RE in August 2011
    5 IUIs: BFN; IVF #1 - Success! BFP - 7/25/12 Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • I'm sorry for your loss.
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    Boy/girl twins born at 37w1d and 37w2d

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  • Oh my gosh I'm so sorry!  My friend didn't have twins but she lost a baby at 21 weeks without any explination.  I wish nothing but the best for you and your family as you grieve the loss of your baby, while being grateful for still having the other baby.  Nothing anyone can say will make it better right now, but I am thinking about you....sorry again.
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  • I am so sorry for your lose. 
    image


    PCOS DX 2003

    N Born 12/13/08 34weeks 5days due to Pprom with SPD and several delays. Conceived on 100mg of Clomid after 9 cycles

    BFP 8/7/10 150mg of Clomid 8/24/10 found no heartbeat & empty sac after subcronic hemotoma, Misoprostol induced MC 8/31/10 7w5d

    BFP April 20, 2011 Menpuir with trigger and TI. EDD December 31, 2011.
    Beta 1 13dpo 238, Beta 2. 16dpo 1091

    May 12 2011 first u/s HOLY CRAP 4 sacs 3 Heartbeats have to see if Quads or Triplets. May 26 2011 Triplets confirmed ready or not.

    Born 11/29/11 35 weeks 3days C-Section E 4lbs 5oz, A 5lbs 2.5oz, M 4lbs 11oz


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  • I am so very sorry for your loss.

    Me:40 AMA, DH:36 0% morph, TTC#1;
    BFP#1 4/2011, MMC 6/2011 11wks Trisomy 13;
    BFP#2 11/2011, CP
    FSH: 17.9, AMH: 2.2
    IVF#1 w/ICSI: ER 4/3: 5R,4M,4F
    ET 4/6 All 4 (1-8A+, 2-8A-, 1-3A) BFP#3
    Two weeks of beta hell = Blighted Ovum
    IVF#2 Aug/Sept: ER 8/27: 4R,3M,3F
    ET 8/30 (1-8A+, 1-6A+)
    Beta#1 9/10: 350; Beta#2 9/12: 796; Beta#3 9/20: 9155
    Expecting Boy/Girl Twins! My babies were born 4/23/13 at 36w1d!

     
     

  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
    D & R were born at 37w5d.

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  • (((((((HUGS))))))))))   I am SO sorry :(

    The best advice I was given is to grieve how YOU feel it's necessary and that you will never get over your loss, but you WILL get through it.  I lost both my twin boys at 18w during my first pg. but it was a little different.  Lots of love and be kind to yourself. 

    image
    Twin boys born too early at 17w4d and 18w2d in February 2010
    Transabdominal cerclage placed September 2010
    DS born at 35w1d in February 2011
    Twin girls born at exactly 36w in February 2013
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  • I'm so very sorry for your loss. I've heard the miscarriage/pregnancy loss board has been a great source of comfort for many ladies who have gone through a loss.

    I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and will send lots of T&Ps for a healthy rest of your PG.

    ((BIG HUGS))

    TTC 12/2009
    Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
    IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
    IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
    E & C Born 10/19/2012
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  • I lost a triplet in the early second tri, like you I had no change in symptoms and no indication anything was wrong until our a/s.  It was heartbreaking.  There is a group that deal with the loss of a multiples but also specifically addresses the loss of one or more in pregnancy.  I found the stories there helpful http://www.climb-support.org/

    I'm very sorry for you loss.  It's a horrible situation to be in,  I hope the remainder of your pregnancy goes well.

    Dx. annovulatory PCOS Cycle #3 - follistim, ovidrel trigger - TI
    BFP at 10DPO & 11DPO. Beta at 11DPO 27, 13DPO 85, 17DPO 510.
    image

    TTC#2

    Cycle #1 follistim, ovidrel and TI/IUI Sept. 2011 = c/p :(

    Cycle #2 repeat...BFP at 10DPO. Beta at 12DPO 65, 14DPO 179
    u/s 12/15 = three sacs, repeat u/s 12/20 = three heartbeats. Lost baby C between 12 and 16 weeks and welcomed our surviving twins on oldest daughter's third birthday!
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  • I am so so sorry for your loss!  I do not have any experience with a loss of this nature and my heart is breaking for you.  I highly recommend the loss board for support through this.
    M & M
    06/12 - BFP!!!!
    Beta #1 15dpo - 256
    Beta #2 18dpo - 1097
    6wk U/S on 07/02 ~ TWINS!!!
    EDD 02/21/13
    09/10/12 Found out it's two Boys!!!! Sam and Jake
    Jacob and Samuel born 1/29/13 at 36 weeks. photo F489900B-BB44-4C44-ACD1-ABB73509E3B2-9032-000005E7AE7EF53E.jpg Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • image GypsyEsq:

    I found the stories there helpful http://www.climb-support.org/


     

    Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers. I have posted on a few boards here for support. You ladies are great. I am taking this day by day at this point. I know there is nothing I can do about it but try and keep my boy healthy and strong until he is born.

    I am definitly going to check out the link above, It does make me feel a lot better to know that I am not going through this alone, and there are other people who have been in my shoes and can help walk me through this.

    hugs an good luck to all of you throughout your pregnancies!!

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  • (((HUGS)))  I am so sorry for your loss.
    After 5 TI Clomid cycles, 5 IUIs, and 2 IVFs we finally got our BFP!
    Beta#1 (12dp3dt)= 353, Beta#2 (15dp3dt)= 1466, Beta#3 (22dp3dt)= 14,139, First u/s: TWINS!!
    After 10 weeks of bedrest, our two little ladies joined us at 28w6d
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  • I haven't ever posted on this board, but I hope it's okay if I comment. Before I comment I just want to give you a warning.  I ended up losing both of my twins, BUT it was a super rare disorder (trap sequence) which you definitely do not have. They were a special circumstance and I don't want to freak you out when you see my siggy. 

     I am so so sorry that you lost your precious boy. 

    I lost one of my twins at 21 weeks.  We did have an explanation, but that's a long story.  I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry.  I've been in the position of carrying two babies and only planning on bringing home one.  It sucks.  I had a lot of people tell me, "well at least you have one healthy baby!" < Which I was grateful for, but having one child doesn't make up for losing another.  From what I understand and what I was told when we lost Porter, your other twin should be fine.  The fact that they're fraternal helps with that.  Obviously you should address any questions or concerns with your doctor.

     As for coping- I would highly suggest that you visit the loss board.  Let yourself grieve and feel whatever you feel.  I know for me that I didn't truly mourn the loss of Porter until Isaac passed away.  I was in project mode and focused on keeping Isaac safe.  Don't feel guilty if you are focused on getting that other baby here safely.  Everyone's grieving process is different.  Sometimes all you can do is take it one day at a time.

    T&Ps for you and your family. 

  • frogs007---I am very sorry for your loss as well, I am feeling a lot of ups and downs. One minute I am crying my eyes out, the next I feel that everything is going to be okay, and the next I am more nervous for the twin that I have left.. this is just such a rollercoaster of emotions..All of the posting on here and friends and family are definitly helping me feel a little better though. But I know the feeling won't ever truly go away.

    Its just hard to think that a few days ago I had two happy healthy babies, and all of a sudden that was taken away from me with no warning signs, nothing.

    Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers. i really do appreciate it.

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  • I'm so very sorry for your loss, and praying for you and your LO. I second what others have said about the loss board, and I'm sure PgAL would be very welcoming as well - they are an amazing group of women and have been a wonderful support.  

    Take care of yourself, and reach out for any kind of help you need.  

    ttc since June 2010. 
    Our prayers were answered October 16th, 2012.
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  • I'm very sorry for your loss.  I have a friend that went through this.  It was such a difficult experience for her.  I believe she took advantage of counseling and medication to help her through it, even after the delivery of the healthy baby.  It's very hard to celebrate the birth of a healthy baby while mourning the loss of another.  Make sure you tell your friends and family exactly how you want them to deal with the experience and your feelings.  I know my friend was very hurt and angry when everyone focused on the healthy baby and basically ignored the fact that there was a baby that was lost.  She wanted people to acknowledge both of her babies.....if you feel the same way you should make people aware of that prior to delivery. 
    Miracle Twins after 2 years TTC thanks to IVF! 10*18*06
    Lilypie - (6EmG)


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  • image megleighh:

    frogs007---I am very sorry for your loss as well, I am feeling a lot of ups and downs. One minute I am crying my eyes out, the next I feel that everything is going to be okay, and the next I am more nervous for the twin that I have left.. this is just such a rollercoaster of emotions..All of the posting on here and friends and family are definitly helping me feel a little better though. But I know the feeling won't ever truly go away.

    Its just hard to think that a few days ago I had two happy healthy babies, and all of a sudden that was taken away from me with no warning signs, nothing.

    Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers. i really do appreciate it.

    If you need to vent or anything PLEASE feel free to email me- kimberlyjpalmer@gmail.com.  

    It's definitely not an easy process.  I agree with the pp about the Pregnant after a loss group, I'm sure you'll find some support there too. Hugs.  I'm so sorry again that you're going through this.

  • I am so sorry for your loss :( Prayers that your other boy continues to stay healthy. 
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  • So sorry for your loss, sweetie. Sending you lots of love and strength, and best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy. ((hugs))
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  • I am so sorry for your loss. 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker DD#1 3/04 *TTC #2 since 6/2010 EDD 1/30/13 changed to 2/4/13 we are having boy/girl twins!
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