Baby Showers

No offers for shower host...so far

So...I dont think that I will be getting a shower for baby #2. My closest friends live across the U.S. now, and shower#1 was givin by SIL who is now divorced from the family. My MIL or other SIL may offer, but is it possible to politely decline? I cringe at the idea of either of them throwing a party (believe me it would be sooo stressful- they are both very ...TENSE- I dont know how else to describe)

 So what I was thinking... I would like to have a little celebration- maybe like a meet-the-baby or something- where I can invite friends/coworkers/family. I do love planning partys and jump at every reason to. Something simple/tasteful (no gifts) ... would it be tacky for me to organize it? Does it seem desperate?? Aaag wish I had more friends here I would just help them plan mine!

 

Re: No offers for shower host...so far

  • If you read posts on this board, you'll see that many people frown on showers for more than the first child. This may be why no one is offering.

    Past that, a meet the baby party is fine. But I will sy that while suggested here a lot I've never actually known someone to throw one.
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  • image EastCoastBride:
    If you read posts on this board, you'll see that many people frown on showers for more than the first child. This may be why no one is offering. Past that, a meet the baby party is fine. But I will sy that while suggested here a lot I've never actually known someone to throw one.

     

    All of this.  I've also never known anyone to actually have a meet the baby party but if you want to celebrate this baby, this is your best option. 

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  • Ditto ECB.  They probably aren't stepping up because even though "it's the norm in my social circle" they really don't think it's necessary and may not want to spend the money to host a shower for a STM.
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  • I had a very, very informal meet the baby party back home. I missed my shower because of Hurricane Irene, so my mom threw this instead. I prefer informal MTB parties. There was no printed invitation (IMO printed invites mean "Bring a gift"), it was open house style between certain hours, people came and went as they pleased, we had a variety of finger foods laid out during those hours, and it was very relaxed and fun.

    The key to MTB parties to me, other than being informal, is that the purpose should actually be to MEET the baby. I don't live near my family, so this really was the first time they got to meet her. If your family and friends will have already met the baby, then it feels like a greedy gift grab. If not, then a MTB makes sense.

    image
  • I had a Meet the Baby Party.  Technically, my sister hosted it at her house.  Totally casual.  Set the date once the baby was born.  It was an open house, come anytime between 11:00 and 2:00 kind of thing.  We had a baseball theme and had hot dogs, chips, nachos, cookies decorated like baseballs, peanuts & cracker jacks. I didn't get many gifts, which was my goal as it was my first, but I didn't want a shower.

    For me, it was perfect since I let everyone know through my pregnancy that we were going to do that, so it cut down on visitors at the hospital and home (although they would have been welcome, I just think they naturally decided to wait).

    I'll definitely do it again.  It's like a casual Show and Tell with the baby. 

    ETA: We did invites via a facebook invite to people that lived locally, some via email and some via phone.  We did do a postcard like invitation to grandparents where facebook and email aren't their thing and were afraid dementia would make them forget the phone call. 

  • Showers are for first-time Moms, so it stands to reason that there has been no offer to host for a second pregnancy.  Let it go.

  • image sandraanddrew:

    image EastCoastBride:
    If you read posts on this board, you'll see that many people frown on showers for more than the first child. This may be why no one is offering. Past that, a meet the baby party is fine. But I will sy that while suggested here a lot I've never actually known someone to throw one.

     

    All of this.  I've also never known anyone to actually have a meet the baby party but if you want to celebrate this baby, this is your best option. 

    We did a "meet the baby" open house for our daughter. It was in conjunction with her naming. However, we did her naming at the synagogue formally on Saturday, and then the party was Sunday, during which, people MET the baby. And we did talk about the meaning behind her name. But then, I did NOT have a shower until after she was born, either. But that's a separate issue altogether.

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  • I personally have been to many showers for second babies and no one in my circle considered it tacky. Everyone loves to buy something for the baby. The last one I went that was for the second baby, it was hosted by the mom's sister but in their own house since she was living with them at the time. It was a smaller shower, the gift registery was mostly for new baby clothes, there was no big ticket items as they already had those. We are her close friends and we would have given her a gift when the baby was born anyways, so the shower was just an added celebration. 

    I haven't been invited to sip & see or meet the baby party myself, but my best friend went to one recently, it was hosted by the new parents in their home and it was a truely elaborate party, nicer than my wedding almost!!! it was a sunday brunch with mimosa, pastries and tons of finger food, they even had a live trio band playing soft classical music. They did not have a registery and did not open gifts. I saw the pictures and it was really beautiful.

     

  • image TX-Bride:

    I personally have been to many showers for second babies and no one in my circle considered it tacky. Everyone loves to buy something for the baby. The last one I went that was for the second baby, it was hosted by the mom's sister but in their own house since she was living with them at the time. It was a smaller shower, the gift registery was mostly for new baby clothes, there was no big ticket items as they already had those. We are her close friends and we would have given her a gift when the baby was born anyways, so the shower was just an added celebration. 

    This is my personal experience as well.  Not everyone frowns on second showers.


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  • image jeffsjayme:

    I had a Meet the Baby Party.  Technically, my sister hosted it at her house.  Totally casual.  Set the date once the baby was born.  It was an open house, come anytime between 11:00 and 2:00 kind of thing.  We had a baseball theme and had hot dogs, chips, nachos, cookies decorated like baseballs, peanuts & cracker jacks. I didn't get many gifts, which was my goal as it was my first, but I didn't want a shower.

    For me, it was perfect since I let everyone know through my pregnancy that we were going to do that, so it cut down on visitors at the hospital and home (although they would have been welcome, I just think they naturally decided to wait).

    I'll definitely do it again.  It's like a casual Show and Tell with the baby. 

    ETA: We did invites via a facebook invite to people that lived locally, some via email and some via phone.  We did do a postcard like invitation to grandparents where facebook and email aren't their thing and were afraid dementia would make them forget the phone call. 

    I recently threw something like this for my sister! When her baby was 3 months, we had a big open house at our parents house. They have a pool, so people swam, we grilled and had other finger foods. People dropped by all afternoon, and it was really nice to  casually celebrate...and the baby was very well behaved.  I did an evite.  A lot of people brought small gifts, but my sister opened them later. 

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  • People probably haven't offered because you aren't supposed to have a shower for your second baby.  A shower is a a celebratory gift giving event as an introduction into motherhood.  After that it's up to you.

    You can throw your own meet the baby party after the baby is born.  People will probably bring little things like diapers and such if they choose to bring a gift, which some may and some may not, but it definitely shouldn't be expected like you already said.

  • As previous posters mentioned, baby #2 showers aren't the "norm".  However, I've been to several "sprinkles" for baby #2s that were small get togethers over dinner with just closest friends (5-6).  And most of them had on the invite to bring giftcards and diapers. 

    Also, I had a friend do a "meet the baby" shower and called it a "Sip N See".  Her mom hosted it at her house and she had a great turnout. 

    My opinion - if you want to hose a "meet the baby" shower, do it.  If somebody is bothered by it, then they won't come.  :)

    Congrats on baby #2!

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  • We hosted a "meet the baby" party in conjunction with our annual BBQ party for #2 and #3.  I printed out invites (made them myself) and they went out to everyone I normally invite to our BBQ (about 100 people).  We usually get about 80 show up.  I set a time - like 2 but specify that the grilling will be done at 5.  That way people can come and go if they want but if they want to EAT then they need to be there at 5.  LOL  The first couple of BBQ's I hosted (I've done 8 now) I made ALL the food but everyone brought something anyway (to pass) so now it is potluck with us providing the meat and drinks.  I also do 3-4 sides (just in case). 

    Obviously I didn't register for anything and didn't mention anything about gifts.  Probably 1/2 (or maybe a bit more) brought a gift (mostly diapers and clothes).  I opened them that evening after most everyone left (except those that were staying the night).

  • image SmileyGirl18:
    image TX-Bride:

    I personally have been to many showers for second babies and no one in my circle considered it tacky. Everyone loves to buy something for the baby. The last one I went that was for the second baby, it was hosted by the mom's sister but in their own house since she was living with them at the time. It was a smaller shower, the gift registery was mostly for new baby clothes, there was no big ticket items as they already had those. We are her close friends and we would have given her a gift when the baby was born anyways, so the shower was just an added celebration. 

    This is my personal experience as well.  Not everyone frowns on second showers.

    ...Confused

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