January 2013 Moms

Subway and bus rant

So I'm on the subway on Wednesday during evening rush hour.  These two ladies looked at me and started going back and forth, "Is she pregnant or is she fat?"

Of course, I look at them with the evil death glare and say, "I'm pregnant so which one of you are going to get up?" 

*eyeroll*

Then on the bus yesterday, this lady asked me to get up.  I had to let her know I'm pregnant and I'm not getting up.  On the same bus, another poor woman had to hold her toddler while standing up.

I'm not looking forward to those days... 

 

 

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Re: Subway and bus rant

  • Yeah - I find generally people are nice and helpful with you when you're pregnant, but last week we were out at a sports-bar/restaurant and not a single one of the 20-something guys sitting on the bench waiting for a table offered to get up for me.
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  • Ugh yes... just last night DH and I went out for dinner and it was packed in there with a 30 minute wait, which of course we didn't mind.  But not one of the nice, young, non-pregnant people who were ahead of us and not waiting as long offered to stand up to give me a place to sit while waiting.  Jerks.  My bump is pretty darn noticeable so I don't accept that as an excuse lol.
  • Wow! The ladies on the subway were seriously talking about you out loud right next to you? It's pretty amazing how selfish people can be. I haven't been in many situations where I needed to sit down but at least people have somewhat attempted to hold doors open for me so far in this pregnancy.
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  • Yes, the ladies were rude for discussing your weight like that but so were you. I don't feel the urge to ask strangers to give up their seat for me, why would I? I'm pregnant, not disabled. I can see when we are further along needing to have a seat but for right now it's just one of those things that would be nice to have, not really needed. And if you were concerned about the lady with her toddler, why didn't you offer your seat to her? It sounds like she may have needed it worse than you.

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  • image pistolpackinmomma:
    I'm pregnant, not disabled. I can see when we are further along needing to have a seat but for right now it's just one of those things that would be nice to have, not really needed. And if you were concerned about the lady with her toddler, why didn't you offer your seat to her? It sounds like she may have needed it worse than you.

    All of this. Until I look like I'm ready to topple over I don't expect anyone to offer me their seat - it's nice now but I almost always decline at this stage anyways. 

  • image pistolpackinmomma:
    Yes, the ladies were rude for discussing your weight like that but so were you. I don't feel the urge to ask strangers to give up their seat for me, why would I? I'm pregnant, not disabled. I can see when we are further along needing to have a seat but for right now it's just one of those things that would be nice to have, not really needed. And if you were concerned about the lady with her toddler, why didn't you offer your seat to her? It sounds like she may have needed it worse than you.

    Totally agree, I hate that feeling of entitlement people get when they are pregnant.  I exercise, work a 12 hour night shift, and try to live my life as normal as possible. Why should someone give up their seat when at 20 some weeks we are perfectly capable of standing for a bit. It sounds bitchy, but I agree with pp,  we are pregnant, not disabled. 

    I remember a post a while back when I was on the 1st tri board. A woman who was 9 weeks and bragging about parking in the Expecting Mom spot at the grocery store. I would definitely side eye someone for that! Save those spots for the women who are pushing their due dates, with swollen ankles, and struggling to carry their bags. 

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  • image pistolpackinmomma:
    Yes, the ladies were rude for discussing your weight like that but so were you. I don't feel the urge to ask strangers to give up their seat for me, why would I? I'm pregnant, not disabled. I can see when we are further along needing to have a seat but for right now it's just one of those things that would be nice to have, not really needed. And if you were concerned about the lady with her toddler, why didn't you offer your seat to her? It sounds like she may have needed it worse than you.

    Yep, you took the words right out of my mouth. Pregnancy =/= handicapped. Unless you have complications or ass pp said, pushing our due date with swollen ankles and struggling to stand than thats a different story but if not, then you should have given your seat to the "poor lady with the toddler." 

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  • First, I do have to right to ask for a seat because I am disabled. Pregnancy makes it worse.  I will admit I can be rude, snarky, whatever but that's the way it goes. Everyone has their off days, even you.

    Second, my husband gave her his seat.

    Third,  if you can stand up for an hour bus or train ride then that's wonderful.  Thank G-d you're healthy enough to do it.

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  • Yes, you are right pregnancy doesn't equal handicapped.  

    The problem is that many people on the buses and trains don't want to give up their seats for the elderly, preggos, women w/small children, or the handicapped.

    Besides the poor lady with the toddler, a man with crutches got on the bus and no one gave up their seat for him either.  The bus driver had to stop the bus until someone gave up a seat for that man.  He shouldn't have go there. 

    If you want to think I feel entitled because I'm pregnant then so be it.  I choose to exercise my right to demand a seat.  When I was on crutches a few months ago, I demanded a seat w/o guilt.  I honestly feel if a woman looks visibly pregnant she should get offered a seat.  Maybe it's old-fashioned but it's basic etiquette that people have forgotten.

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  • image sammichele:
    Wow! The ladies on the subway were seriously talking about you out loud right next to you? It's pretty amazing how selfish people can be. I haven't been in many situations where I needed to sit down but at least people have somewhat attempted to hold doors open for me so far in this pregnancy.

    They were crazy rude!  

    That's so nice people are holding doors for you. 

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  • image ariellabe:

    Yes, you are right pregnancy doesn't equal handicapped.  

    The problem is that many people on the buses and trains don't want to give up their seats for the elderly, preggos, women w/small children, or the handicapped.

    Besides the poor lady with the toddler, a man with crutches got on the bus and no one gave up their seat for him either.  The bus driver had to stop the bus until someone gave up a seat for that man.  He shouldn't have go there. 

    If you want to think I feel entitled because I'm pregnant then so be it.  I choose to exercise my right to demand a seat.  When I was on crutches a few months ago, I demanded a seat w/o guilt.  I honestly feel if a woman looks visibly pregnant she should get offered a seat.  Maybe it's old-fashioned but it's basic etiquette that people have forgotten.

     I agree... when I was still in college I had a 1/2 hour bus ride to the school from my off-campus dorm.  It was always jammed with students, but there were also elderly and pregnant people who took that bus route as well.  I was one of the few people who always offered my seat to someone who I thought might need it more, even if maybe they didn't.

    I never ask for a seat at this point, but it would be nice to know that people actually give a damn about each other in this world and offer.  If I don't think I need the seat, I will politely decline.

    I'm on sick leave from work with dizziness/faintness, etc.  If I have to go out by myself to run an errand because DH works long impossible hours and I'm at Walmart or something and the option is either take the courtesy parking or park a mile away, I take the courtesy spot without shame.  My doc has already restricted the amount I'm allowed to carry/handle and I don't need to be lugging heavy shopping in my condition all the way to the back of the parking lot.  That's just my situation though.  I'm sure there are plenty of women who are perfectly fine that take advantage of their condition.  For me, it's not a sense of entitlement, it is what is necessary, and I like to think that people will treat me the same way I treat them.  Guess in today's society that's too much to expect.

  • With this being my second pregnancy in NYC, I can definitely relate.  I would say that during my last pregnancy I was offered a seat maybe 50 percent of the time that I was visibly pregnant.  People are oblivious and in their own worlds and unaware of their surroundings.  It's rude.  I always offer my seat to someone who looks like they need it more than me.  Although I don't NEED a seat at this stage of pregnancy, it definitely helps to not have to stand for my entire commute.  If someone offers me a seat, I'll gladly take it.  But I don't ask for a seat.  

    However, now being pregnant and having a toddler, I feel like I am doubly entitled to a seat, but yet I still find myself standing at times holding DD.  That's frustrating.   

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