2nd Trimester

Mom-to-be...with a tongue ring.

Lately I've been getting comments about my tongue ring. People have been asking me if I'm going to take it out before or when the baby is born because its "not motherly" (to them) and I wouldn't be setting a good example for my child. Besides the fact that I know the baby wouldn't even notice for YEARS to come, what do you all think I should do?

 

 

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Re: Mom-to-be...with a tongue ring.

  • DOnt listen to people it's your choice.
  • I think it screams "rebellious teen" and not " responsible mommy."  I'd feel like it was time to move on to the next part of my life and leave that behind (but I felt the same way about my bellybutton ring.)  There is a point at which it's not age-appropriate (mom or not) and starts to look a little silly.  Are they even "cool" anymore?  Just my personal opinion, 100%.
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  • LMFAO. I took mine out for L & D, and for my surgery - because I want to be sure I don't have a post in my mouth in the event that they need to do an MRI or CPR or anything of that nature... but I don't take it out to be a better mother. Metal in my tongue, lip, nose, ears, etc does not interfere with my ability to be a quality parent, employee, or person. 
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  • If you want to leave it in, I say leave it in, don't let other people's opinons dictate something like that. I took my tongue ring out a few years ago because I had an abscess and the tongue ring rested on it and it was very uncomfortable. I still kind of miss it. I've also taken out my eyebrow ring, belly button ring (for surgery, but it closed up pretty quickly for me and I couldn't get it back in - may get it redone next year), nipple rings (yup), etc. I still have three holes in each ear and and industrial. And five tattoos. It was never a rebellious thing for me or a "look at me" kind of thing. I just liked my piercings and tattoos, and having them won't change how I raise my child.
  • image drpayne:
    I think it screams "rebellious teen" and not " responsible mommy."  I'd feel like it was time to move on to the next part of my life and leave that behind (but I felt the same way about my bellybutton ring.)  There is a point at which it's not age-appropriate (mom or not) and starts to look a little silly.  Are they even "cool" anymore?  Just my personal opinion, 100%.

     I agree with this.I don't think it has anything to do with being a good or bad mother, but a co-worker of mine has one (I work in a large corporation) and I think it's totally unprofessional and also just unattractive. But again, just totally my opinion. 

  • I know lots of moms with tattoos and piercings (I'm about to be one) and I don't think it has anything to do with how your baby will look at you. Eventually, when you start looking old you may decide to take it out but I say, it's your choice and you LO will love you no matter what.
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  • I don't even have my ears pierced, but one of the best moms I know has tattoo sleeves - and they are a part of her, just like hair color or eye color.

    Could she get frustrated by the side-eye she often gets because of her tattoos? She could. But she doesn't, because she owns those tattoos and happily chooses to ignore anyone who can't look at her as an entire person.

    My advice? If you find yourself often frustrated by looks and comments, it might be time to take the piercing out - kiddo will pick up on your *concern* more than your tongue ring, and the message of "we worry a lot about what others think of our appearance" might not be the one you want to send.

    On the other hand, if that piercing feels like part of you, allowing you to easily breeze past the neighsayers, kiddo will pick up on your confidence - and probably grow up more confident herself. In that case, leaving it in makes everyone better!

    Whatever you choose, good luck! 

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  • image drpayne:
    I think it screams "rebellious teen" and not " responsible mommy."  I'd feel like it was time to move on to the next part of my life and leave that behind (but I felt the same way about my bellybutton ring.)  There is a point at which it's not age-appropriate (mom or not) and starts to look a little silly.  Are they even "cool" anymore?  Just my personal opinion, 100%.

    I agree with this.

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  • i kept my tongue ring in.  If that person wants June Clever.. they should go watch leave it to beaver.
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  • image ggatlanta:

    I don't even have my ears pierced, but one of the best moms I know has tattoo sleeves - and they are a part of her, just like hair color or eye color.

    Could she get frustrated by the side-eye she often gets because of her tattoos? She could. But she doesn't, because she owns those tattoos and happily chooses to ignore anyone who can't look at her as an entire person.

    My advice? If you find yourself often frustrated by looks and comments, it might be time to take the piercing out - kiddo will pick up on your *concern* more than your tongue ring, and the message of "we worry a lot about what others think of our appearance" might not be the one you want to send.

    On the other hand, if that piercing feels like part of you, allowing you to easily breeze past the neighsayers, kiddo will pick up on your confidence - and probably grow up more confident herself. In that case, leaving it in makes everyone better!

    Whatever you choose, good luck! 

    All of this.

    There is a lot of judgement, misconception, and ridicule that some members of society have about people with any sort of body or hair modification... some people look at tattoos and piercings and think, "omg rebellious". Others look at women with short skirts and acrylic nails and think, "Wow, spoiled". Some look at women in mom-jeans and a pony tail and think, "Lazy and disheveled". 

    What matters is being confident and happy with how you look, being an example of integrity and motivation for your children, and *owning* all of it. 

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    *Spontaneous* OHSS diagnosed 08.06.2012
    Right ovary removed 09.04.2012 via vertical laparotomy
    Essure implant placed on remaining tube 06.13.2013; successful followup scan 09.30.2013


  • I say forget them, personally. Having a tongue ring isn't going to affect your parenting, is it? Didn't think so! Just because it may symbolize a "rebellious stage" in one's life (and I'm not saying that it does for you) doesn't mean that one would still be a "rebel". Take it out on your own terms.
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  • People will judge. Do what feel comfortable for yourself and your family. Although, I do agree with the PP who took it out for L&D just in case you need a c-section or other testing/procedures where that could get in the way. In fact, I don't plan on wearing any jewelry to the hospital. 
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  • People are ignorant. 

    If you want to keep your tongue ring, keep it - its nobody's business.

    A friend of mine is inked all over and she gets weird looks out with her daughter but she holds her head high - you like your body mods, that's why you got them and kept them this long.

     

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  • When I got pregnant with DD i had 9 piercings and now I'm down to two of them and those are my tongue and lip and I've never taken them out. We are a tattooed/ pierced family. I say keep because its you. I only took ones out because they were getting uncomfortable. 
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  • i would say just leave it in..
    I too have one from my own rebelious stage at age 18, but after having it for what, 12 yrs now, I barely recognize that i have it sometimes..
     
    if people want to judge you about a past decision,then let them go ahead and waste time b/c of your past... i say that would give you a clear indication of what is more important to them- that piece of metal in your mouth or you as a person.
     
    if you take it out, it should be your decision.. it takes seconds to take out if you DID need to remove it for MRI or something, but lets not think that way.
     
    i can tell you my tongue ring is staying in until I want it out.. 
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  • Do what you want. If people think you're "not motherly", they should probably get that stick out of their ass. It's no one's place to judge you, especially not for something so superficial. Pierced and tattooed moms can still be mature and awesome mothers, just like those without piercings/tats can be horrible.
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  • I took my tongue ring out, as well as my navel piercing, with my first pregnancy. I just felt like I was over that part of my life. I had had them for about 10 years and that was long enough for me. For me, it was on the unmotherly side to keep them in. That said, do what YOU want to do.
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  • Do what you are comfortable with. I don't have any piercings (used to have a nose ring but had problems with it and took it out) but I have a lot of tattoos and I don't think they make me any less motherly. Its unfortunate that the stigma against tattoos and piercings is still out there, but as they get more and more common it seems to be diminishing, so don't worry about what other people say. Honestly, if it wasn't comments on your tongue ring, it would probably be something else (I get comments almost every single day about drinking coffee). Something about being pregnant seems to make others feel free to share advice and opinions, both helpful and not. 
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  • I think it comes down to example. If having a tongue ring is something you would encourage your child to get (at an appropriate age of course), then keep it. If it's not something you would ever encourage, now is the time to start living by example. This goes for swearing, eating junk food, how you dress, whatever that thing is that we all do, but when we think about our kids doing it doesn't seem okay. Even though the kid won't notice or interpret it as anything for a while, habits take a while to form so I think it's a good idea to start now. If a tongue ring falls in this category for you, I think you have your answer. 
  • image Louisa1000:
    I think it comes down to example. If having a tongue ring is something you would encourage your child to get (at an appropriate age of course), then keep it. If it's not something you would ever encourage, now is the time to start living by example. This goes for swearing, eating junk food, how you dress, whatever that thing is that we all do, but when we think about our kids doing it doesn't seem okay. Even though the kid won't notice or interpret it as anything for a while, habits take a while to form so I think it's a good idea to start now. If a tongue ring falls in this category for you, I think you have your answer. 

    I know you mean very well and it makes sense on a basic logic level.... but I'd love to see a raise of hands of how many girls here with tongue rings had parents with tongue rings.... because I've never met one. lol 

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    *Spontaneous* OHSS diagnosed 08.06.2012
    Right ovary removed 09.04.2012 via vertical laparotomy
    Essure implant placed on remaining tube 06.13.2013; successful followup scan 09.30.2013


  • Do what you want..........peircings and tattoos do not make someone a bad parent. DH is covered and he's a great person with a good heart. I know plenty of modified people who are great parents.
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  • image Rynleigh:

    image Louisa1000:
    I think it comes down to example. If having a tongue ring is something you would encourage your child to get (at an appropriate age of course), then keep it. If it's not something you would ever encourage, now is the time to start living by example. This goes for swearing, eating junk food, how you dress, whatever that thing is that we all do, but when we think about our kids doing it doesn't seem okay. Even though the kid won't notice or interpret it as anything for a while, habits take a while to form so I think it's a good idea to start now. If a tongue ring falls in this category for you, I think you have your answer. 

    I know you mean very well and it makes sense on a basic logic level.... but I'd love to see a raise of hands of how many girls here with tongue rings had parents with tongue rings.... because I've never met one. lol 

    Seriously. I got my nose and lip pierced when I was 18 in a fit of rebellious glory. My mother never had more than her ear lobes pierced.

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  • image BrittanyDoesDerby:

    Seriously. I got my nose and lip pierced when I was 18 in a fit of rebellious glory. My mother never had more than her ear lobes pierced.

    I interned with a piercing artist for a year after high school and pierced about every flat surface I had by 21 because I enjoyed the feeling. I don't wear jewelry in about half of the holes I made.. but the ones I do are because I like the way they look and feel, not because I had a parent who set the example (Mormons) or a parent to rebel against (hadn't lived with them in years by the time I started piercing). As a 29yr old full time working office manager and mother with soon to be 4 children, I can't say that I have any people in my circle of family, friends, or coworkers who so much as even notice the fact that I have piercings, let alone think any more or less of me for them. 

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    *Spontaneous* OHSS diagnosed 08.06.2012
    Right ovary removed 09.04.2012 via vertical laparotomy
    Essure implant placed on remaining tube 06.13.2013; successful followup scan 09.30.2013


  • image Rynleigh:
    image BrittanyDoesDerby:

    Seriously. I got my nose and lip pierced when I was 18 in a fit of rebellious glory. My mother never had more than her ear lobes pierced.

    I interned with a piercing artist for a year after high school and pierced about every flat surface I had by 21 because I enjoyed the feeling. I don't wear jewelry in about half of the holes I made.. but the ones I do are because I like the way they look and feel, not because I had a parent who set the example (Mormons) or a parent to rebel against (hadn't lived with them in years by the time I started piercing). As a 29yr old full time working office manager and mother with soon to be 4 children, I can't say that I have any people in my circle of family, friends, or coworkers who so much as even notice the fact that I have piercings, let alone think any more or less of me for them. 

    Yes

    That's fantastic and exactly how (I feel) body modification should be. Something you do for yourself, not to please or displease others. 

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  • image BrittanyDoesDerby:
    image Rynleigh:

    image Louisa1000:
    I think it comes down to example. If having a tongue ring is something you would encourage your child to get (at an appropriate age of course), then keep it. If it's not something you would ever encourage, now is the time to start living by example. This goes for swearing, eating junk food, how you dress, whatever that thing is that we all do, but when we think about our kids doing it doesn't seem okay. Even though the kid won't notice or interpret it as anything for a while, habits take a while to form so I think it's a good idea to start now. If a tongue ring falls in this category for you, I think you have your answer. 

    I know you mean very well and it makes sense on a basic logic level.... but I'd love to see a raise of hands of how many girls here with tongue rings had parents with tongue rings.... because I've never met one. lol 

    Seriously. I got my nose and lip pierced when I was 18 in a fit of rebellious glory. My mother never had more than her ear lobes pierced.

    I have tattoos, had my tongue and naval done , amongst other things, and my parents have no tattoos, and my mom just has her ears.
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    Mommy to a wonderful little girl and baby boy.
  • If you like it and want to leave it in, then leave it in.  That is your choice.

    However, you will continue to be judged on your maturity and parenting skills just because of your tongue ring, and you would if you have any other non-ear piercings as well.  It is unfortunately still not something that is widely accepted as "proper" for parenting and is definitely considered rebellious.  As long as you are prepared to continue to fight that battle, that is 100% your choice, and doesn't make you a bad parent if you choose to keep it.

    For me, I chose to leave that behind me and moved on into a new "phase" of my life when I removed my belly button ring once I got pregnant with my son.  I didn't feel it was important for me to continue to have it any longer, mainly because I figured I wouldn't be wearing any more bikinis.  I would have also removed any other non-ear piercings at that time if I'd had them.


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  • Personally I'm not a fan of tattoos or piercings for myself---I did get a belly button ring at 17 and kept it in 3 years or so then decided I was over it.  And I still have the stupid hole!  I don't have any tattoos---just can't imagine liking something drawn on my body forever.  Also, I work in a professional environment in a management position---there are others who work here who have visable tattos, piercings, etc but I've noticed they tend to stay in a certain level job--probably because this company is pretty conservative in that regard. 

    If you love your tongue ring and its a part of you keep it---you will be judged on your mommy skills for a lot more than that believe me and none of those things define you as a mother anyway! People just like to be judgy. 

    You did state that it would be YEARS before your child notices it---I do disagree with that---I nannied in college for a family with a pool so we swam quite a bit.  The mom wasn't super thrilled that her 3 year old daughter was asking to "get an earring in her tummy like Ashleigh" so I agreed to take it out while there and shortly after kept it out all together.  So just be aware that kids pik up on things very quickly.

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