Childless not by choice

Introduce yourselves- age and conditions?

I was wondering what the temperature of this board is. I'm 28 and I've never tried to get pregnant. I was in high school when I was told I have PCOS. The doctor told me that if I ever wanted to conceive I would have to go through lots of expensive fertility treatments that may not work anyway- and that conceiving naturally was nearly impossible. And if by some luck I did conceive I would be at a very high risk for miscarriage.

For over a decade now I've just kind of tried not to think about it. I've just lived assuming I would never have kids, and figured that was for the best. My fiance is divorced and never had children in his first marriage, and he says he'd prefer to not have children, so I know my condition doesn't bother him. I still feel conflicted sometimes about it, but overall I just try to accept that motherhood isn't in my future.


Re: Introduce yourselves- age and conditions?

  • Wow, you have a lot going on.

    I would recommend you get a 2nd opinion on being infertile. There are alot of women that have PCOS. It isn't a death sentence as far as motherhood. They would start you & hubs out with some basic testing to make sure that's the only issue. Sometimes you can get your tests done at your OB's. If that is the only issue, they would probably start you off with some meds & monitoring. The meds are pretty inexpensive now.     Another side note though ~ women with PCOS have conceived on their own too.

    If this is something you feel strongly about, probably want to discuss it with future mr. before the big day.

    Best wishes to you 


    TTC since 2006 3 Fertility Clinics Test, Pills & Injectables....oh my. Numerous failed IUI's 7 or 8 or more? IVF #1 June 2012 ~ praying this is the only one ER 6/13/12 - 13 ret, 7 fertilized, 7 progressing, ET 6/15/12, BFN & No freeze babies. Onto IVF #2 in October 2012. No, wait, body not cooperating. IVF #2 in November 2012 IVF #2 Began Provera in Sept to make me start. Never started. I O'd on my own??? 2 weeks of BCPs. Period. Baseline & Labs 10/25 Stims started 10/26 ~ 225 Follistim in the am. 150 Bravelle & 5 Lupron in pm. Trigger 11/4, ER 11/6, ET 11/9 - 2 great embies. 3 Freezebabies. Beta 11/23/2012 BFN. Now what??? I don't know if I can keep going? Daisypath Anniversary tickers I know the Lord would put a strong desire in my heart if it wasn't meant to be. - Isaiah 41:10
  • Many women with PCOS have babies, both with and without treatments. I'd be going to a new doctor to get some testing done. And I'd be getting a referral from your OB to see an RE (reproductive endcronologist). OBs aren't in the business of getting you pregnant, just caring for you when you are.
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  • I was just diagnosed with pcos this summer (I am 36) and my RE doesn't seem to concerned about it.  I would go see a RE.  If you even think a little bit that you might want to have children you should talk to your fiance about it.  As for the cost I know that I just had IUI and none of the pills or shots or prodecure was covered and the entire cost was $600. 
    Married 12-12-04
    TTC since 07
    me-36 PCOS, Tubal Problems, and polyps removed 7-12
    DH - 36 extremely handsome and no fertility problems
    IUI 8-12 and 9-12 failed
    IVF 12-21-2012 - 2 I think perfect no matter what the dr graded them (2B)embryos transferred Beta on 12-31-12 Positve - Beta is 21
    Beta 2 1-2-13 - 31
    Beta 3 1-4-13 - 53
    Beta 4 1/9 - 212!
    Ultrasound 1/10 - Nothing completely empty uterus Beta 1/14 - 743; Beta 1/17 - 1704 ultrasound shows nothing. Officially a miscarriage. 1/21 Beta 3900 Dr. says it ectopic. Ultrasound shows a miracle heartbeat right in the uterus where it belongs! Dr. says I can be cautiously optomistic!!! Hang in there baby!
  • I wouldn't give up hope because you have PCOS.


    I'm 34 with PCOS and started working with a fertility doctor. The doctor found out through blood work that I have a hypothryroidism. He started me on the medication for it and 2 weeks later I got pregnant. I'm on metformin for my insulin too. Once all my hormones were in line, I was able concieve quickly without fertility treatment.


    Perhaps you could ask your OBGYN to do some blood work of all your hormones. Good Luck!

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  • I would get a second opinion.  I was diagnosed with PCOS over ten years ago and never tried to get pregnant.  I just got married August 4, 2012 and got pregnant the first time I ever had unprotected sex.  Now the doctor is saying I was misdiagnosed and now I all of a sudden don't have PCOS.  I know my situation is probably very unique but I was heartbroken for the longest time and it turned out I didn't have to be.  Also, even if you do have PCOS many people can go on to have healthy children.  My mom had it and had three kids without any treatment.  It took her a while but it was all natural!  Good Luck:)
  • I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 18 and my OB told me the same thing. I am currently pregnant with my 3rd girl. All 3 of my prenancies were without ANY fertility treatments. There is hope!
  • I agree with everyone that you should get a second opinion. Maybe you should go to an ob/gyn that also specializes in infertility. I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2008 when I was 26 and I lost my right tube. My ob/gyn at the time told me that my left tube was so scared and damaged that IVF was my only hope. I knew that I could not afford IVF so I went through a very deep depression over it. Fast foward 4 years later, I found out with a home pregnancy test that I was pregnant and I was so scared that it was an ectopic that I went to the emergency room. So they wheeled me down to the ultrasound room and I was so nervous. I asked the technicdished she saw anything and she said yes. I asked her was it in my tube and she replied that it was in my uterus with a heartbeat of 162 and it was measuring at 8 weeks which was exactly how far along I was. I was so shocked but at that moment I really realized that God is in control. So don't write off having a family just yet and talk to your hubby about it.  A healthy pregnancy is not impossible with PCOS.
  • Why do all the fertiles insist on posting here ??? And without any sort of warnings ??? WTF..
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  • image wickedsugar:
    Why do all the fertiles insist on posting here ??? And without any sort of warnings ??? WTF..

    1. This is a PUBLIC forum
    2. The fertiles are commenting on THIS thread to inform the OP that PCOS is NOT a pregnancy death sentence, that she still has a chance to get pregnant and have a child if she so chooses.
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  •  Some of us what you would call "fertiles"  were NOT fertile for a long time. My husband and I were child free and not by choice for 6 LONG years. We finally got our BFP and are pregnant after many years of trying both fertility treatments and without. This pregnancy was without treatment so with pcos it isnt impossible to get pregnant for all women. I lurk usually on this board because although I am preg, I still feel a strong connection to not having children and not by choice.
  • I have pcos and had no problem getting pregnant.  I was seeing a fertility specialist and everything about 8 months before ttc. He put me on birth control and metformin, and I lost about 25 pounds (I'm still very overweight though) so I definitely prepared my body for it. But when it was go time, I got pregnant on the third month of trying, which might have even been sooner if my husband didn't have to travel for work so much.  Also I specifically asked the fertility specialist if when I did become pregnant the risk goes up due to pcos and he said no; the only thing to put me at a higher risk was my weight.

    most women with pcos can conceive somehow.  A lot of them use Clomid to do it, which really isn't that expensive, and a lot of insurance plans will cover it anyway.

    tha's kind of heartbreaking the doctor who told you that was so pessimistic about it.  If having a baby is something you truly want, don't give up on your dream.  

  • I was told at 17 that I would never be able to have children thanks to PCOS and Endometriosis..but to my suprise 7 years later after completely giving up on all the medical interventions I am due in June. That was something I never thought that I would say. Get a decond opinion and never give up hope.
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  • Definitely get a second opinion. I was diagnosed with PCOS last year and I am hopeful to one day have a baby. 

    Good Luck! 

    Me 32/DH 38
    TTC since 05/2011
    HSG 07/2011 right tube blocked
    Clomid 50mg 3/2012 - no response
    Clomid 50mg 4/2012 - no response
    Met with RE 6/2012
    PCOS/IR diagnosed 6/2012
    Femura 5mg  9/2012 - no response
    Laparoscopy 12/2012 close off right tube
    Clomid 150mg 3/2013 - no response
    1st Follistim Cycle 7/16/2013 -  CD3-6 125iu; CD7-8 150iu; CD9-15 175iu; Trigger 8/1; IUI scheduled for 8/3/2013...BFN AF arrived 8-16-2013
    8/2013 cycle benched for cyst
  • Everyone is right, just because the doctor told you that doesn't mean 100% that it will be the case for you. I was diagnosed by my OB two months before I got married. I was told that after I had tried for one year that we would begin to talk about fertility drugs and HOPE that it would work. After my husband and I decided to start trying I found out 10 weeks later that I was pregnant, and I was already four weeks pregnant. Don't lose hope!
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