3rd Trimester

Thoughts on cell phones in L/D?

Just wondering what others think of this?

DH and I were casually talking about our birthing plan and he informed me he will "have to be on his phone" during L/D to update his mom with everything that is going on.

 I tried explaining that I am going to need him to be present with me 100% for support, but he really just doesn't get it. 

 

- I am totally fine with keeping all of our families / close friends "updated" ... to an extent. He is the type to (trying to put this nicely) "zone out" into his phone. Blah.

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Re: Thoughts on cell phones in L/D?

  • How about a quick text and then a longer phone call after baby is born, you have had your time together and you are ready to rest?
    pregnant
  • Talk to your OB and/or the nurses in advance and have them tell him there is a '5 minute rule' or a 'texting only' rule :) My DH is the same and it can be so frustrating!
    *B*



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  • There is a LOT of down time in L&D. When you need him, tell him you NEED him. Otherwise, there is no issue, IMO, with him having his cell, laptop, or anything else. DH and I played a lot of card games in L&D.
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    AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class.  "Sex is between the legs.  Gender is between the ears."
  • i was thoroughly annoyed while my husband was on the phone while i was in labor. Everyone important was present. He just took random calls that came in from people. i wanted to slap him. theres two times that someone should be updated while your in labor. when you first get to the hospital, and after baby arrives. all the time in between is for YOU and HIM. not everyone else!

    ETA: i was only at the hospital for 2 hours before my son was born so i was already in very active labor upon arrival. If i were in labor for 12 hours i would feel much differently about it.  

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  • I was induced at 41 weeks 6 days and it was a long process to get my labor started (had to do it as placenta was degrading).

    Anyways-- we both were on our laptops and cell phones until true "active" labor started (which in my case was from 7 Am until 8 PM when they broke my water after being maxed on pitocin twice which did nothing).  

    So-- I say bring them as you don't know how fast things will progress and it might be very boring. 

    I would also talk to him about your concern-- that you need his support and that when things are active and getting tough, you expect that he will be fully present with you and not playing with the phone or texting others.   As long as he gets it and understands the difference, you should be ok.  

  • image IAM3Bs:
    Talk to your OB and/or the nurses in advance and have them tell him there is a '5 minute rule' or a 'texting only' rule :) My DH is the same and it can be so frustrating!

    I think this is a conversation you need to have with your DH, rather than having the nurses or doctors do it. That seems a bit passive agressive, and may backfire on you.

    Let him know ahead of time how important to you it is that he is mentally present and supporting you during the birth. As others mentioned, there may be times where it is appropriate for him to be on the phone, and if you two have an actual conversation you should be able to come to an agreement that works for both of you.


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  • No

    If things are taking a while, then having the phone and going out in the hall or wherever to update family/friends would be ok with me.  But sitting there on the phone while I'm in labour...um...no.

    promised myself I'd retire when I turned gold, and yet here I am
  • DH and I have a no internet/wifi on our phones rule when we're together. It drives me nuts to see people zone out into their phones when they're out at dinner or spending time together. We'll stick to the same thing with the whole L&D process.

    If DH needs to send a text or make a phone call, that's okay, but I hate it when I see people updating Facebook, using Twitter, looking at stuff online, etc. when something important is going on. Sounds like you could discuss sticking to something like that during your time in L&D.

  • Ha, he'd probably be prying the phone out of my hands (when not contracting and in active labor). 

    I am fine with it, as long as he is "present' when I need him.

    My mom will be in there as well, so they can tag team if I turn into momzilla. 

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  • Whatever freakin happened to the birth of a baby being a special moment between the mother and father???  That is ridiculous.  You two are bringing the baby into this world and he thinks his mother needs to be updated every second of the way?  She can wait until the baby gets here.    I wish DH was a little more supportive, but he thinks that the nurses are there for support so he didn't need to be but he was not on his phone either.
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  • We had our phones when I was in labor with DS, but we only used them during "downtime" and if there was some specific reason for it.  Like, my mom was flying in that day, so we were texting her to make sure flight was on time, when she landed, etc.  And DH called his dad to let him know approximately when he could come (once we had a decent idea of how labor was progressing).  Then, after DS was born, we took a few pictures with our cell phones so that we could send them out to a few close friends/family that live really far away and weren't able to come visit.  I had an epidural though and a really low-key delivery, so I didn't need as much focus and support as some.
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  • He might want to get over that, when I had my daughter they were short handed or something because my husband had to hold one of my legs while I pushed.
  • My L & D took 24 hours total.  About 10 of it in the hospital.  DH texted quite a bit.  The only time I would forbid it is during the pushing stage.
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  • Tell him you will only let him cut the cord to the baby if he cuts the cord to his mom first.
  • image jociejones:
    Tell him you will only let him cut the cord to the baby if he cuts the cord to his mom first.

     

    Haha thank you for this, and everyone else for all the input. Great to know I'm not alone! 

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  • Just have some kind of code word that means PUT YOUR DAMN PHONE DOWN! lol
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  • I had an emergency C'S with DD and no joke my mom kept texting my husband during the surgery to make sure everything was ok...it drove me nuts!!!
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  • We made a total of 4 calls in the 24 hours I was in L&D. I'm not against them being there, I'm against it being attached to my husbands ear while I'm trying to labor.
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  • I seriously am not allowing cell phones in the hospital room, period.  It about drove me crazy last time.  Our 1st arrived a month early, fast labor, caught us all off guard; we didn't even notify family that we were in labor or heading to the hospital.  After baby was born, my husband called our family and it was driving me crazy that he was on the phone.  It was probably 20 min after baby arrived, but still I found it annoying.  The nurse was telling me important info about the baby & he was talking on the phone.  We've agreed this time that the news can wait - we will share the news that we have gone to the hospital & baby has arrived after all the excitement has gone down (probably 2-4 hours after the birth).  When visitors come (if we have any, we are thinking about having people wait until we are home to visit) we will have a no cell phone rule.  It just drives me crazy.  Enjoy the moment, there's no need to share it with anyone.
  • I have no problem with quick updates, but someone being a chatty Cathy would drive me insane, and so would someone constantly distracted by texts.  Maybe you can set some parameters now (ie, one phone call every three hours or whatever seems comfortable).  I'm almost more concerned about MIL--why does she need a play by play?  That seems odd to me--is she pushing for this or is he insisting?  Sounds like everyone needs to get on the same page with update expectations.  
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  • We are both bringing our cell phones for entertainment purposes, but are not going to tell anyone that we are in labor. We, instead, have planned to announce when she makes her debuts. 

     

    I talked with hubs about this and just told him that I really don't want people to be constantly checking in on our progress and such. This time is going to be about the start of our family, the 3 of us. Rather than letting our families know about this decision, we will just call with the news of her arrival. At that point they will be too excited about the news to be upset about being left out of the labor process.

     

    Will updating family members on your progress really make your labor and birthing experiences better? 

    ~Samantha & Kevin~ 9/12/2009





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  • image brooke&ryan&baby:

    Just wondering what others think of this?

    DH and I were casually talking about our birthing plan and he informed me he will "have to be on his phone" during L/D to update his mom with everything that is going on.

     I tried explaining that I am going to need him to be present with me 100% for support, but he really just doesn't get it. 

     

    - I am totally fine with keeping all of our families / close friends "updated" ... to an extent. He is the type to (trying to put this nicely) "zone out" into his phone. Blah.

    I am just lurking here for a bit out of boredom but this scared me. His mommy is not priority while you are laboring! 

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  • We'll have cell phones in L&D, but we will both be 100% focused on labor anytime I need it. I've told DH that I may have him update people occasionally, but otherwise our phones will be on silent. I don't plan on telling many people when I'm in labor, but those people will get very sporadic updates and they know it.
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  • image MandJS:
    There is a LOT of down time in L&D. When you need him, tell him you NEED him. Otherwise, there is no issue, IMO, with him having his cell, laptop, or anything else. DH and I played a lot of card games in L&D.

    This. It can actually get a little boring in there.... HOWEVER. Once you start pushing, I would have a no more texting/talking rule until after baby is born.

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