Attachment Parenting

Feeling weird about nursing my daughter

I BF my son until he was 21 months and I am really glad that I chose to BF. It was a challenge, because he did not take ANY bottles or even sippy cups until he was over a year old, so I was very very limited in what I could do away from him. We have always had a very close bond. My daughter is due around Halloween, and quite honestly I am feeling nervous about nursing her because we're both girls. I know that sounds really strange, but I just can't shake the weird feeling I have about it. Guys just gravitate towards that part of a woman's body anyways lol so I didn't think twice about it with my son, I am really not sure why I am so nervous about it this time. i keep telling myself that it will be fine when she comes, and if it still doesn't feel like the right thing I know formula is not the end of the world, and that we can still have a very close bond. Another fear though is that if for some reason I don't BF her I won't be as close to her as I was with my son. Lots of nervousness and fears here about having a daughter! Please help ease my thoughts
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Re: Feeling weird about nursing my daughter

  • I think it's more weird that you consider it more normal for a baby boy to breastfeed than for a baby girl.

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  • Well I only have a daughter and am expecting a second girl.  I was nervous that BFing would be weird (although not because she was a girl, just FTM worries) and it wasn't.  In fact we're still nursing.  I've wondered if it would be awkward to nurse a male baby but honestly, babies are just babies and once you see your princess I have a feeling that at least some of your worries/anxieties will fade.
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  • Indifferent

    The reason boys fixate on that part of a woman's anatomy is because of breastfeeding. Which girls also need. The fact that you can sexualize the act of feeding your kid just amazes me. 

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    Why are you sexualizing BFing?

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  • image LoisLane23:
    I think it's more weird that you consider it more normal for a baby boy to breastfeed than for a baby girl.

    Yup.

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  • This is completely weird OP.  Boys naturally gravitating to boobs has nothing to do with breastfeeding, nor is an infant acting on that instinct.  A baby is just looking for food.  The fact that you are sexualizing breastfeeding is completely outrageous. 

    Without going too far down your absurd line of thought, you probably shouldn't have breastfed your son if you thought it was because, due to being a boy, he naturally gravitated toward boobs. 

    This post is just all kinds of effed up.

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  • Everything all the other posters said.

    Additionally, are you worried about turning your daughter gay? You realize that isn't possible, right?

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  • Breastfeeding a child is not a sexual act. It is a means of feeding your child - regardless of whether that child is a boy or a girl.

    I think you have some serious other issues here that you need to identify and work out before your daughter arrives.

    Good luck to you.

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  • WTF.

    For any baby, regardless of gender, your boobs are food and nothing else. It has absolutely nothing to do with a sexual act and if it did, why would it be normal for you to be a part of that act with your son? Your mind is in a strange place, OP. 

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  • I'm sorry you're struggling with this.  I'm curious, how is your relationship with your mother?  I never had any issue with bfing my first daughter (or current daughter), but I was scared to death of actually having a daughter because my mother was/is abusive (we don't speak anymore).  I was terrified that I would inadvertantly treat my daughter the same way my mother treated me.  She treated my younger brother like gold, but she made it obvious to me at a very young age that she hated me.  I'll be honest that the first two years with my oldest daughter were rough, but it's because I hadn't come to terms with the abuse of my mother yet.  I have been identifying issues and working on them as they present though, and we have a great relationship now.  We had a close relationship in her infancy too...it was more just me beating myself up rather than distancing myself from her.
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  • image Venus04d:

    why would it be normal for you to be a part of that act with your son?

    Yeah this was pretty much my initial reaction as well.  That's effed.

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  • image LoisLane23:
    I think it's more weird that you consider it more normal for a baby boy to breastfeed than for a baby girl.

    I agree with this.

    EDIT The reasoning behind what OP is saying is just so off.

  • So like, in your head your baby boy was all like "mmmm yeah gimmie those titties, put me in the football hold, you know how i like it. awwww yeahhh" And that was ok, because of penis.

    maybe your husband can start preparing to lactate so your daughter can have the same healthy opposite sex experience as your son did. Cause that's what it is all about.

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  • ::grabs popcorn::

    O_O 

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  • This is one of the weirdest things I've ever read. 
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  • I hear lesbians like boobs too...
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  • image CTGirl30:

    Breastfeeding a child is not a sexual act. It is a means of feeding your child - regardless of whether that child is a boy or a girl.

    I think you have some serious other issues here that you need to identify and work out before your daughter arrives.

    Good luck to you.

    This.

    Although I wonder if this is MUD? Because this is a weird post.



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  • image littlemac1117:
    I hear lesbians like boobs too...


    True true. Maybe she's afraid of her daughter becoming one.

    I find the OP's thinking so bizarre.

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  • I found a place to use this.

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    On a more serious note, OP, you really really need a closer look at how you see things, and work on resolving the issues that have led you to even come up with these thoughts to begin with.

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  • image Booger+Bear:
    image CTGirl30:

    Breastfeeding a child is not a sexual act. It is a means of feeding your child - regardless of whether that child is a boy or a girl.

    I think you have some serious other issues here that you need to identify and work out before your daughter arrives.

    Good luck to you.

    This.

    Although I wonder if this is MUD? Because this is a weird post.

    I was just thinking there is no way this can be real... 

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  • I'm at a loss for words right now. And that doesn't happen often.

    If this is a real post, I would encourage you to seek some therapy ASAP.

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  • Definitely MUD

    But I loved reading Anna's response - so funny! 

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  • This has to be MUD.  There's no way someone who BFed for 21 months would feel this way.

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  • there are only 13 countries in the whole world that sexualize boobs. american males are taught sexualization  of the boob it isnt something they know
  • Unlike PPs, I'm not going to attack you and say you're a sicko and that your thoughts are effed up.

    Being raised in this hyper-sexualized society, it's very difficult to draw the line in your head when it comes to sex boobies vs. food boobies. Our sick society tells us that boobies are for one thing: sex. How can you not sexualize them? Fighting that mindset, when you are bombarded with it everyday, is very difficult.

    I've had the same sexualized thoughts as you exactly twice. And I immediately realized they were ridiculous and put them out of my head.

    I don't think you're effed up OP, or that your thoughts are necessarily effed up. I think you're a victim of our sexualized society. But, I think if you're fixated on these thoughts (which it seems you are) then you need to get some help. Everyone has effed up thoughts here and there and most people put them out of their heads and don't think of them again. If this is continuing to pop into your head, that's a problem.

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  • image Venus04d:
    WTF.For any baby, regardless of gender, your boobs are food and nothing else. It has absolutely nothing to do with a sexual act and if it did, why would it be normal for you to be a part of that act with your son? Your mind is in a strange place, OP.nbsp;
    This was my thought. If you had any thought of breastfeeding being sexual, why on earth have you done so?
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