3rd Trimester

Do they talk about your weight when getting an epidural? +

My friend had a baby and got an epidural and she is overweight, and her husband was all like yeah we had to sign all this stuff because its more dangerous if you weigh a certain amount. I want to know why they were discussing her weight ... and I thought everyone had to sign forms?

anyway, I have no idea why he just blurted that out and was really tactless, but I wanted to know if they discuss your weight at depth in the delivery room. I mean I am not shy or whatever, but obvs have gained weight with pregnancy and I don't need my husband to be learning how much lol. (its not a lot, but still, men get stupid ideas about stuff like "omg she gained weight" even though it doesn't make that much of a difference, I only gained 20 pounds)

Re: Do they talk about your weight when getting an epidural? +

  • image esalyi:

    My friend had a baby and got an epidural and she is overweight, and her husband was all like yeah we had to sign all this stuff because its more dangerous if you weigh a certain amount. I want to know why they were discussing her weight ... and I thought everyone had to sign forms?

    anyway, I have no idea why he just blurted that out and was really tactless, but I wanted to know if they discuss your weight at depth in the delivery room. I mean I am not shy or whatever, but obvs have gained weight with pregnancy and I don't need my husband to be learning how much lol. (its not a lot, but still, men get stupid ideas about stuff like "omg she gained weight" even though it doesn't make that much of a difference, I only gained 20 pounds)

    I'd be PISSED if MH made a comment about my weight while carrying his child! I'm not sure about them asking during the epidural but just wanted to mention how mad I'd be Stick out tongue

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  • I think her husband may not know what he's talking about. I was very big by the end of my pregnant, and all I did was sign the regular consent forms for the epidural.
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  • image mabenner1:
    I think her husband may not know what he's talking about. I was very big by the end of my pregnant, and all I did was sign the regular consent forms for the epidural.

    yeah he definitely said that she had to sign special forms because she was overweight..so I'm wondering if the anesthesiologist said something?? I have no idea. anyway, it was a really uncomfortable convo..like she was overweight before getting pregnant and gained a ton, so why would he be focusing on her weight ...

    I haven't gained that much so far, and I'm not a big girl, but I still think its gross to discuss your weight in front of your husband..like none of his business! if he thinks you look good, then that's enough. I find that most people don't know what weight looks like ...and wouldnt' be able to guess a person's weight anyway, but when you put the pregnancy gain number on a person, they can be like WHOA that's a lot or something. when you look fine...you know? I dunno anyway, just thought it was super weird.

  • I just had to sign the form. No one mentioned weight while at the hospital.

    And I'm pretty sure you aren't giving husbands enough credit. Every time I make a comment about my weight, (I get on the scale every couple of nights and announce it)  DH says "You are growing and carrying our baby! You look beautiful!" I would punch any husband if he said something so crass to me or any other women. 

    Also, I just read an article in Glamour that actually discussed how men actually don't think women should be as skinny as we think we need to be, that they like a healthy look :-) Don't underestimate how beautiful your husband thinks you are. 

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  • Interesting. I'm not overweight and with my first they asked me my weight when I checked in so the doctor administrating the epidural would know. It makes sense- how much you weigh does affect the dosage I believe, I don't know anything about extra forms to sign for being overweight however. 
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  • I wouldn't think it was unusual at all for an anesthesiologist to ask and know your weight. In fact, I'd be concerned if they didn't. Not everyone gets the same dosage. A person who weighs more is likely going to need a higher dose of meds.

    Also, if my H had an issue with how much weight I've gained, he can kiss my @$$! I was just telling my H the other day that I'm pretty sure I weigh more than him now Stick out tongue I take comfort in the fact that he's only 2" taller than me and not a very big guy.

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  • Any husband who is actually bothered by his wife gaining weight in pregnancy deserves to be left and given child support orders as a parting gift. And wives who freak out over pregnancy weight gain in relation to letting their husbands see them or know what they've gained weight really just need to... stop. Seriously, stop. I can't believe there are women who want to be pregnant and then cannot differentiate between becoming obese from liking food too much (hey, like me!) and gaining some weight because they are carrying and growing another human being. Seriously, you're PREGNANT. You are going to grow. If you are truly concerned about the person you married finding out how much weight you have gained while carrying his child, you really need to rethink your choice of partner, because any man who is actually bothered by that will only pose more problems down the road.

    Like PP said, I can see weight playing a role in how much anesthetic they give you. I know it's a huge factor in general anesthesia--the amount I would need to be completely knocked out, for instance, could probably kill a much smaller person; just like if I was given the amount that a smaller person needs, I might be wide awake. Not that epidural = general anesthesia and therefore possible death, but I can see the need for heavier people to be given more medication in order for it to be affective (think about children's dosages of medicine vs. adult doses, etc). And as far as I know there are always forms to sign with epidurals, no matter what you weigh. 

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  • When I had my spinal for my surgery, there is a risk of issues if you are overweight because of a few reasons, including the size of needle used. It is also more difficult to get the needle in the more overweight you are. It is a higher risk and from a medical standpoint it does need to be discussed.
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  • I don't know about the overweight factor, but they asked me my height and weight last time so they know what to administer. 
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  • I think it all depends on the hospital. I literally just had an appointment with an anesthesiologist about this. Because I have an elevated BMI and the hospital is small if there were an emergency they were afraid they might not be able to place a spinal needle or intubate so I had to sit through a whole screening process before I give birth to determine whether or not I need to transfer to a different hospital to deliver. I dont know if I have to sign special paperwork if I get an epidural though.
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  • image jessican08:

    I wouldn't think it was unusual at all for an anesthesiologist to ask and know your weight. In fact, I'd be concerned if they didn't. Not everyone gets the same dosage. A person who weighs more is likely going to need a higher dose of meds.

    Also, if my H had an issue with how much weight I've gained, he can kiss my @$$! I was just telling my H the other day that I'm pretty sure I weigh more than him now Stick out tongue I take comfort in the fact that he's only 2" taller than me and not a very big guy.

    This.  With DS, they asked me how much I weighed at my last OB appointment.  It had nothing to do with being overweight (I was borderline underweight to start and gained about 35 lbs).  I didn't ask but assumed it was to administer the correct dosage.

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  • I signed all of the normal forms when we checked in.  The anesthesiologist asked my weight before he started, but never said anything about it or any extra complications.  I was 204lbs the day we induced.
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  • They need to know your weight for all medication doses. IV and epidural. I do not know about extra forms being signed because of a high weight but that could be one particular hospitals policy to cover their own butts. 
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  • image punkrockabye:

    Any husband who is actually bothered by his wife gaining weight in pregnancy deserves to be left and given child support orders as a parting gift. And wives who freak out over pregnancy weight gain in relation to letting their husbands see them or know what they've gained weight really just need to... stop. Seriously, stop. I can't believe there are women who want to be pregnant and then cannot differentiate between becoming obese from liking food too much (hey, like me!) and gaining some weight because they are carrying and growing another human being. Seriously, you're PREGNANT. You are going to grow. If you are truly concerned about the person you married finding out how much weight you have gained while carrying his child, you really need to rethink your choice of partner, because any man who is actually bothered by that will only pose more problems down the road.

    Like PP said, I can see weight playing a role in how much anesthetic they give you. I know it's a huge factor in general anesthesia--the amount I would need to be completely knocked out, for instance, could probably kill a much smaller person; just like if I was given the amount that a smaller person needs, I might be wide awake. Not that epidural = general anesthesia and therefore possible death, but I can see the need for heavier people to be given more medication in order for it to be affective (think about children's dosages of medicine vs. adult doses, etc). And as far as I know there are always forms to sign with epidurals, no matter what you weigh. 

    A thousand times this! WTF? 

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  • I personally find it very strange that the OP thinks it's "gross" for a wife to discuss her weight with her husband, or for him to know how much she weighs. Do you hide when you are on your period, too?


  • image kelnyc:
    image punkrockabye:

    Any husband who is actually bothered by his wife gaining weight in pregnancy deserves to be left and given child support orders as a parting gift. And wives who freak out over pregnancy weight gain in relation to letting their husbands see them or know what they've gained weight really just need to... stop. Seriously, stop. I can't believe there are women who want to be pregnant and then cannot differentiate between becoming obese from liking food too much (hey, like me!) and gaining some weight because they are carrying and growing another human being. Seriously, you're PREGNANT. You are going to grow. If you are truly concerned about the person you married finding out how much weight you have gained while carrying his child, you really need to rethink your choice of partner, because any man who is actually bothered by that will only pose more problems down the road.

    Like PP said, I can see weight playing a role in how much anesthetic they give you. I know it's a huge factor in general anesthesia--the amount I would need to be completely knocked out, for instance, could probably kill a much smaller person; just like if I was given the amount that a smaller person needs, I might be wide awake. Not that epidural = general anesthesia and therefore possible death, but I can see the need for heavier people to be given more medication in order for it to be affective (think about children's dosages of medicine vs. adult doses, etc). And as far as I know there are always forms to sign with epidurals, no matter what you weigh. 

    A thousand times this! WTF? 

     This!!!!!!

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  • I am overweight- was before both pregnancies (and haven't gained anything with either)... Anyhow my epidural with DD was never discussed in regards to my weight.  They had all that info on file (e records with Kaiser, everyone can see everything if they have access).  So they didn't need to ask me, but I for sure never discussed additional risks, or signed any papers.
  • I'm pretty certain I was asked my weight in regard to getting my epidural last time. Maybe to confirm what was on file? It's very possible that you'll have to tell your weight at some point while your husband is present. If you're concerned about your husband judging your weight when you're about to give birth to his child, God help you when it comes to pushing till you're red in the face or any other not-glamorous part of this process! Not to mention the recovery (or after 2 days without a shower and you smell like baby spit-up). Seriously, childbirth can be humiliating. It's gross. But honestly, my husband looked at me like I was super woman and bragged about the delivery to people in the days after delivery. I hope your husband is better to you than you give him credit for. This can be an amazing bonding experience for your relationship.
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  • I don't plan to get one myself, but this is not something I have heard of before. I know several overweight ladies who HAVE gotten an epidural, and they never mentioned that their weight was spoken of in regards to it.
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  • pregnancy and childbirth are more risky when you're overweight, including the epidural. However, who gives a *** if your husband is in on the conversation? You're pregnant, it's too late to do much about the weight gain now.

    I just signed regular consent forms. I do not remember a conversation about my weight but I don't remember much more than saying "please give me the epidural now!"

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  • I have no experience with the epidural, but regarding the OPs comments on sharing the weight gain numbers with DH...

    While I do agree that some people get hung up on numbers rather than health/how the person actually looks, when it comes to pregnancy, gaining weight is just something that comes with the territory and if a person is that hung up on numbers that they can't process that these numbers are coming from growing a human being, it's a little worrisome.

    Other than that, as PPs said, I believe weight would be discussed in relation to the amount of medicine used, etc.

  • image redjetta22:
    I'm pretty certain I was asked my weight in regard to getting my epidural last time. Maybe to confirm what was on file? It's very possible that you'll have to tell your weight at some point while your husband is present. If you're concerned about your husband judging your weight when you're about to give birth to his child, God help you when it comes to pushing till you're red in the face or any other not-glamorous part of this process! Not to mention the recovery (or after 2 days without a shower and you smell like baby spit-up). Seriously, childbirth can be humiliating. It's gross. But honestly, my husband looked at me like I was super woman and bragged about the delivery to people in the days after delivery. I hope your husband is better to you than you give him credit for. This can be an amazing bonding experience for your relationship.

    Uh my husband and I have a great relationship and he even administered my strep b swab for me, so I have NO squeemishness about him seeing whatever. That I could care less about. I just think he doesn't need to know my numerical weight. So what?

    I also has a miscarriage and bled out everywhere, he has seen me "unglamourous" you people are ridiculous. I don't plan on wearing makeup and doing my hair for labour.

    And, I am not prissy, or weird about fluids or recovery from surgeries etc. I have no issues with being seen at a bad moment, I just don't want a number being put on my weight, I think that carries a bigger stigma than anything else. Like when my friend's husband (the one in the story) found out she weighed more than 200 lbs he judged her. HARD. And before he knew that, he was fine with how she was..there is a mental judgey ness about weight whether you ladies want to believe it or not.

    Some husbands will have no issue with the blood, gore etc. that comes with it, but WILL to having a wife over 200 lbs. Sorry, just facts.

  • If this is an issue for your husband, you married an ***.  Good luck with that.

     

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  • image amy052006:

    If this is an issue for your husband, you married an ***.  Good luck with that.

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  • image esalyi:

    Some husbands will have no issue with the blood, gore etc. that comes with it, but WILL to having a wife over 200 lbs. Sorry, just facts.

    ...Just facts that certain men are pigs. If you are married to someone like that then I feel sorry for you. The actual number of your weight should have no bearing on how your husband feels for you. I'm sorry if he is really THAT vain that you feel you have to hide your weight from him.


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