Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Frustration!

Okay... I have a 15 month old who never likes to listen to the word no! I don't mean to shriek at him, but I feel as if he knows how to push my buttons. How am I to discipline and/or tell him no without being overly aggressive about it? :s

Re: Frustration!

  • Start doing time out!!!! 
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  • I agree, I would try time out..For our son we have one of those pack in plays and when he is having a temper tantrum or doing things he knows that he should not be doing my husband and I will give him two warning letting him know that he is about to go into time out, and then if he continues we tell him he is going into time out for 5-10 minutes..This usually works...We have tried a time out chair and that did not work for us yet...But Good LuckSmile

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  • Also something that they told my husband and I in the Parents as Teacher Program is rather than just telling your child no, tell you child what it is that they are doing that is a No No....

     

    I am not sure if you have a Parents as Teacher Program where you live, but my husband and I love it..It is nice because they don't base it off of your income(at least not in Kansas) and you get a Free Book each month and you meet with a director every 6-8 weeks and they go over some very helpful tools and resources. Anyways you might check into it if your interested.

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  • FACT.

    Overweight cats eat more than skinny cats. 

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  • love the cat fact.

    OP, I would use time out. This whole loving to say no thing is boundary testing, and this is when they learn that they aren't the boss. 

    My DD started this at about 15 months and she is getting better. It will take some times because it's a developmental thing, but it does get better. :-/ 

     

  • Time out question.... 5 to 10 minutes? That sounds like a really long time to me, but I haven't looked into it.
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  • MisNMisN
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    I try to avoid saying "no" whereever possible and turning the statement into a positive statement.  Instead of saying "no hitting the dog" or "no throwing food" I say "gentle pats" and "put the food in your mouth or on your tray"  and praise her for doing it the right way.

    Also, before starting a "trigger" issue (diaper change, getting dressed, getting in the highchair, getting ready for the bath), I try to involve her by letting her get the diaper, choose the outfit, get her bib/her spoon, throw the bath toys in the bath). 

  • image rachelinouray:
    Time out question.... 5 to 10 minutes? That sounds like a really long time to me, but I haven't looked into it.

    Generally, the rule of thumb is 1 minute per year of age.  (1 year = 1 minute, 2 years = 2 minutes)  IMO 10 minutes is too long for very young children because you want them to still remember what they did when you problem solve with them (tell them why they are in time out) at the end of the time out. 

  • image MisN:

    I try to avoid saying "no" whereever possible and turning the statement into a positive statement.  Instead of saying "no hitting the dog" or "no throwing food" I say "gentle pats" and "put the food in your mouth or on your tray"  and praise her for doing it the right way.

    Also, before starting a "trigger" issue (diaper change, getting dressed, getting in the highchair, getting ready for the bath), I try to involve her by letting her get the diaper, choose the outfit, get her bib/her spoon, throw the bath toys in the bath). 

    I do all of this and it is very effective with my DD. 

    I also give her lots of opportunities to make choices.  I always give her choices that I can live with, but she feels in control.  For a while, she got upset and wouldn't cooperate every time I needed to change her diaper.  I started telling her that I need to change her diaper and then letting her choose if I would change it on the floor or on the couch.  She stopped throwing fits about diaper changes.  After her bath, she gets to choose if she wants to walk or if she wants me to carry her.  I let her choose the toys we will play with, clothes she will wear, what she'll eat for breakfast. . . really anything I can think of.  When I need to tell her "no," I briefly explain myself and offer another option that is appropriate.  She has responded very well to these things. 

    The only ongoing issue we have is that she will not stop running on the couch.  My DH puts her in "confinement" for that.  (1 minute in the pack-n-play)  He says it's called confinement, not time out.  Smile

  • I was told they don't really "understand" the concept of no until 17-18 mo.  They don't understand the future situation, so saying no now doesn't register that it also means no in the future.  So while I do say no I often tell him what to do or remove him from the situation rather than only no and realize that I will probably have to do it again in 10 seconds!
  • We say a sharp "ah ah" instead of no and it catches DD's attention to redirect her to something else, tell her what we want her to do instead of what Not to do and she seems to follow along.
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