Babies: 0 - 3 Months

What does your DH DO?

When LO is throwing a fit?  Our LO is 5 weeks and she is a great baby, really only cries hard when hungry.  DH gives her her nighttime bottle and has been doing great with her, changing her when she needs it, gets her dressed in the am occasionally etc. Well tonight I put her in her swing @ 5 and went to the pharmacy while DH watched her (she was sleeping when I put her in there) and when I got back at 540 she was screaming bloody murder.  He handed me off to her and I rocked, shushed and patted her back and she settled down a little but not completely because she was hungry...anyways DH said she had been like that for 10 min and I could tell he was really frustrated.  He said "I cant EVER get her to calm down when shes crying, even a little bit"

 I feel so bad for him! He said he tried all of the things that normally calms her down and nothing worked and that it is just him.  Does she only calm down for me because she knows I have the goods (milk)?  Or because DH is working all day and Ive been with her 24/7? Obviously she is too little to "like or dislike" anyone but I feel like my DH thinks our daughter doesnt "like" him.  Any tips or advice or anyone in the same boat?  Can your DH calm your LO? 

Re: What does your DH DO?

  • My DH says he has tried and can't do it.  I've seen him try and fail and I've seen him put DS in a bouncy seat, turn on the vibrate, and sit on the lap top while DS cries.  I've come to realize that when DS cries I take it as he needs something or is uncomfortable and needs help, DH just sees it as an annoyance. 
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  • Sometimes the littles just want mama.  

    There have been times when DH or my mom has been holding DS  and he gets fussy and nothing will calm him down, until I take him.  Then he is happy as a clam.

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  • The same exact thing happens at our house. DH works so hard to calm and soothe LO when he's freaking out, but LO only wants the milk machine. I think it's a combination of the milk smell, the milk feel (he knows how my arms feel, how my breasts feel, how my voice sounds and how that means milk is coming), and the fact that I spend half the day nursing him so he's more used to me.

    We make up for it by making sure DH gets lots of holding time when LO is awake and happy, and he burps and changes him so LO might start to associate him with other kinds of relief. He sings to him a lot and plays with him during tummy time. It doesn't help when LO is starving and only wants milk, but it does help when he's being generally fussy.

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  • My husband uses some of the 5 S's (happiest baby on the block) to calm him down.  He swaddles him, holds him on his side, and walks around with him while gentle jiggling him.  It works every time.  Here's a pic to show you what I am talking about.  He's got the magic touch because I try to do the same and fail!

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  • On the rare occasion I get sleep I've had DH burst into the  bedroom (usually after about 45 mins of sleep) with baby screaming saying "I can't get her to stop!!" I think babies can sense when someone is panicky and since he's not used to spending as much time w/ her as I do then I am sure that's how he's feeling.  It takes only about 15 secs to get her calmed down (she really only fusses when she is hungry or overtired).  I agree w/ PP's...they know mommy's voice, her smell and where the milk is!!  Of course, it's been the other way, too.  Sometimes she's fussy for me and DH has the magic touch!  I attribute that to his low voice and the fact that since I had her c-section he was the first to hold her and have skin-to-skin bonding w/ her. 
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  • my DH does really well with my son.. and he's come a really really far way.. (considering orginally he didn't want kids because they had to start as babies..to I'm not holding them til he's 1...he's come a really long way) DH does feed him & has started doing wet diapers (still working on the poopy ones) but when DS is mad or upset or fighting sleep he does pretty good at first & than he gets frustrated & starts to worry & upset that DS isn't calming down immediately (he's an instant gratification kinda guy) & than usually hands him to me & tell me "I can't calm him down". And usually its a simple solution...in my case I think with DH & DS it starts out as a simple problem I'm sleepy or hungry but than DH doesn't know how to make him happy immediately & he gets frustrated & tense & my son feels his tension & gets upset even more...I think babies can feel/sense that kinda stuff

  • He can but since I'm the primary care giver (I'm a stay at home mom) he gets flustered when our son starts crying. I took his cell phone and made him a list of everything I do to help calm our son down in his note pad. This way when hes flustered he can go down and check things off. I even put get Sarah on the list so if he gets to the bottom and he's stumped he doesnt feel embarassed about asking for help

     

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  • I feel bad for my DH - DS is usually very good during the day, only cries for maybe a minute or two, and would stop as soon as I pick him up.  But he has his "witching hour" at around 5 - 9 pm, and that's when DH is home and wants to hold him and tries to help.  DS would cry for 10 - 20 minutes straight, and DH ends up handing him over to me, and even though it takes me a while to calm DS down as well, at least I can do it after 5 - 10 minutes. I feel like DH only ever sees the "fussy" side of DS.
  • I'm with the gal above who said her husband has the magic touch....my husband is better at handling the screaming than I am. I think maybe babies can sense when you're getting stressed out and it makes it worse. I just have more growing to do in the patience department   : )
  • When my LO isn't hungry or doesn't need a diaper change...when she is just crying for no apparent reason, he is not good at comforting her.  I have to walk her around the house and bounce her...he wants to sit on the couch and hold her and she just keeps screaming.  I tell him to bounce her around a little bit, but it is like he is afraid he is going to hurt her.  She just really likes movement, so right now, he is terrible at comforting her unless she is hungry or needs a diaper change.  I don't know why he has such a hard time getting up and walking her around the house.


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  • I call my DH the baby whisperer, he is great with our son. I wasn't expecting so much out of him since he works full time and I stay home, but he does diaper changes, pumped feedings, tummy time and majically gets him to sleep when I can't. 

    I tend to have to walk/bounce/sway and pull out all the stops. DH just lays him on his chest, talks to him, and plays video games and he goes right to sleep. Not fair!  

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  • I just heard today to take a blanket or something that your baby always has & have it with you all day. Stuff it in your shirt/bra to get your smell on it. Then when DH is taking care of LO alone he can have it near her so she thinks you're there with her & is comforted. The woman that told me that said it worked great with her DH & son and I am trying it today. Hope that helps! Good luck :)
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