So this is my fourth child, and boy oh boy, are my college girlfriends excited because they all don't have children of their own yet. I'm just wondering if I should allow them to throw me a shower. My first two children are with my ex, and the second shower was thrown by my college girlfriend, the first by my exes fam. My family never goes to any showers bc they do not understand the concept of respecting other people and this is not a get drunk, and make an ass out of yourself event. My college friend planned a shower for baby number three bc she is my bff and said she was gonna do it anyways! LOL!!!!! My daughter had heart problems that they found when I was pregnant and she came early, and was in the NICU for weeks, so they cancelled it with plenty of time to where nobody gave us gifts, which was fine, bc everyone showed support at the hospital. So my BFF wants to plan a shower for this one, and I told her it was too soon, but she is doing it more for my hubby's fam. WHat do you think guys?
Re: What do I say????
Say, "Thank you for the kind offer, but I wouldn't feel right having a shower for my fourth child."
THIS. I know she is excited, but it's a bit much. Maybe she can just do a girls lunch or mani/pedi day or something with your close friends, no gifts.
Suggest to your hubby a "Meet-the-Baby" party. It offers more opportunity for your family to celebrate LO without gift pressure.
Here's my take. Say whatever makes you happy, but I can speak from the excited girlfriends perspective. A friend of mine had her first baby back east. They moved to California before her daughter was one. None of the local friends were around or available for the first baby. So when she was pregnant with her second, myself and another friend really wanted to throw her a shower. Yes, it was another girl. Yes, they had some stuff (though not a ton since they did in fact drop it when they moved). But at the very least, you always need diapers and wipes, and we wanted to celebrate this baby too.
When my friends came to me about having a second shower, I shared my discomfort with it. At the end of the day though, it is just a celebration. You can go against etiquette and say "no gifts necessary" on the invite, or call it a diaper shower/sprinkle. The hosts wanted to host. If someone was invited and thought it was tacky, they can choose not to attend. There are a ton of ways to have a celebration for a baby (yes, even a fourth) that isn't gift grubby. Because after all, isn't that our issue with it? The expectation of gifts? So take that away to the best of your ability, and remember that every baby is worth celebrating. Enjoy it.
This. I'm sure you don't really need anything anyway since you have a 3 month old already. You could do a meet the baby.
This.
Wow, you're only 5 weeks pregnant? At 5 weeks, I was way more concerned about making it through my first trimester. To each her own, I guess.
Having a baby shower for a 4th child when you have a 3 mo. old would be really inappropriate. I would politely decline.
Both of these. A girl's day is a great idea.
This.
That's really nice that they are so excited and want to do something special for you and your hubby and the new baby. Like others have said, perhaps you could suggest a "meet the baby" You can always say that you don't want anything before as you're worried about having another sick baby and would rather celebrate after the birth when you can relax more?
Congratulations!
Well, if its a surprise and you don't know about it, then you are doing nothing wrong. I would have DH gently suggest that if she does do this that she limit it to his side of the family only.