Coping with BF quitting smoking...he gets SO Angry!!

mamaHippo23

I'm very nervous about my BF's plan to quit smoking this week. Of course I'm proud of him for finally wanting to do this before the baby comes, but every time he tries to quit it is absolutely horrible to deal with. He gets VERY irritable, and has these angry, raging outbursts. Or he tries to compensate by drinking more, which of course contributes to the irritational, angry thing. I remember last summer when he quit smoking for a month it put a huge strain on our relationship and I ended up smoking more myself to deal with all the tension and anxiety. When he said he was quitting this morning, I said "That's really great! But how do you plan to deal with the anger/ frustration?"  He just kind of laughed and said "Oh yeah, get ready, it's going to be really bad." WTF???? I tried to explain how stressful it is for me, especially when he doesn't even try to manage this emotions, he just expects us to deal with it. I know it's been hard for him to deal with all my pregnancy hormones, but at least I try to manage my stress by exercising a lot, reading, talking to friends, etc. I'm very worried about how we will survive this, with me being 8 months pregnant and needing his support. I don't know if I'll have the patience for this with my own hormones going crazy right now. UGH!!! Please pray for our sanity  

Manx4

Why doesn't he use something for support?  The patch, gum or that Chantix - so he won't be going "cold turkey" and be able to deal with the grouchiness? 

White0rchid

Maybe he should do this under the care of his doctor instead of doing it on his own. It doesn't like a good idea for anyone involved for him to attempt this again without supervision.

HRP22

Angry?  Really?  I've been around a few people who have quit and I saw them get irritated sure, but anger outbursts? 

Remind him that drinking is a bad idea because it makes you want to smoke more.  Sounds like he needs to do this with some help.  Has he tried Chantix?

 

Coffee&Cream

I quit smoking years ago and I remember how hard it was.  If your looking for suggestions, my doctor had suggested the following and it did help.  I've been smoke free for nearly six years now and I had been a proper smoker (not social smoker) for about six years when I quit.

 -Drink a ton of water, it helps with the taste and most people don't have a water/cig connection like they do with coffee/alcohol. 

-Suck on something, I had lollypops

-Remember that everyday is one day closer to your goal.  It takes two weeks to get nicotine out of your system. 

-I also figured out what I was spending per week and what I would save over the next year.   When I quit, I think in Virginia, cigs were roughly $3.50 per pack and I smoked about five packs per week, so that is $17.50 per week.  Over 52 weeks, that equals $910... I think I had a spa day to celebrate my one year mark.

Good luck to your H and to you, it's tough! 

DerpityDog

I quit several years ago with the help of the book The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr.  It really helps you change your attitude about smoking.  People get irritable because they think it's a big sacrifice, but it's actually a great freedom!  The book actually discourages replacement therapies (like nicotine gums), but if that's what it takes to help him out, it's worth a try.  He could also try e-cigarettes.  

cmiller0623

i think itll help to figure out if he smokes because he needs something in his mouth or something to do with his hands.

DF smokes and has cut back, not yet made it to fully quit, but he tries really hard.  He has to have something to do with his hands so from time to time i get him a model car to put together (he loves it, it takes forever and keeps him busy) If he needs something in his mouth try mints, or small suckers like dum-dums.

it takes 3 days to re-train your brain to do something so those will be some of the hardest, and like PP said it takes 2 weeks to get it out of your system completely.  I think it would be best to have a plan in action for your H such as "when i want a cigarette instead i will _____.  When i feel angry/upset i will ____" and things such as take a walk, go for a run, chew gum whatever it is besides the drinking. it will also take help from you to be supportive because it is very tough as you already know.

good luck to both of you i hope he is successful!

Kris2011RN

I would just go out and buy Nicotine patches and tell DH he should use them bc I don't want to deal with his attitude. DH would use them just so it wouldn't be a waste of money.