Toddlers: 24 Months+

Anyones older toddler not understand consequences?

or just doesn't care about them?

I know that EVERYONE will say their kid doesn't listen at this age, but my DS is taking it to the extreme....I ask him once, he completely ignores me, doesnt even look my way. I ask him again, same thing. I count down from 3 to 1, he finally looks at me but doesn't make a move until after I say 1. This is everything from quit standing on the couch, to get your shoes, to sit at the table, I mean everything. I cant even tell you how many times I count per day...

Nothing upsets him except for getting sent to his room. I even cancelled pool time today because he ignored me when I told him not to go upstairs while I was pumping...he ran up there, climbed into the babys crib, and woke her up before I could stop him. After I changed him out of his swim clothes, I sent him up to his room where he cried until I let him out, but once he was out, he was fine...asked to go swimming a few times, I told him no (and why) and he didn't even seem upset. 

Tonight he wont stay in his bed. I told him if he didn't, we wouldn't play his favorite game in the morning. I said, are you going to stay in bed? He said no. He just doesn't care. It has to be something instant, if its in the future forget it.  

Taking toys away doesnt work, he doesnt even like his toys that much, lol. Nothing motivates this kid.

It was just a worse day than usual. I neeeeed a drink. 

DS 8/29/09 (3yo) DD 11/29/11 (8mo)
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Re: Anyones older toddler not understand consequences?

  • is this new behavior since your daughter was born. my phone wont let me put in question marks...anyway if it is new behavior stick to being consistent and talk to him about how he feels about having a sibling. carve out some time each day with him but dont take it away as a consequence.  while you are busy with your daughter try giving your son his own jobs to help you ie..getting diapers etc. i am sure you have tried these things but it was helpful for our son get adjusted to his twin brothers. good luck.
  • image karenbutler8:
    is this new behavior since your daughter was born. my phone wont let me put in question marks...anyway if it is new behavior stick to being consistent and talk to him about how he feels about having a sibling. carve out some time each day with him but dont take it away as a consequence.  while you are busy with your daughter try giving your son his own jobs to help you ie..getting diapers etc. i am sure you have tried these things but it was helpful for our son get adjusted to his twin brothers. good luck.

    I don't think so...she's 8 months old and while the listening has always been bad, its only gotten worse in the last 2-4 weeks. IDK what it is...he's about to turn 3, I guess he's just testing us more. I may not survive... 

    DS 8/29/09 (3yo) DD 11/29/11 (8mo)
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  • yes 2 yr olds are quite challenging.lol once he is 3 you will see some improvement so hang in there. try positive reinforcement too. go over the top with praising the behavior you want to increase. if all else fails...poor a glass of wine...lol
  • Yeah mine don't seem to care...they get it, they don't care. DS absolutely HATES cleaning up. Like if you mention it before he has even made a mess he will have a tantrum at the prospect of it. He chose to lose his trains (fave toy by far) for a whole day instead of cleaning up some blocks the other day & regularly gets various things taken away...he'll cry sometimes for a little bit, be over it & do the behavior again, it never seems to have any effect. We try natural consequences too but the things he freaks about tend to not always have natural consequences.

    It is beyond frustrating :(

  • LSU628LSU628
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    Yup sounds like my house in the past few weeks as well. DD is testing me beyond belief. My DH didn't believe me till he witnessed it with his own eyes. She will cut me a look, tell me NO!, shoves my hand away from her, hits. I swear if her little foot stomps the floor one more time I might lose it. Sending her to her room seems to be the only thing that gets through to her right now. There are times I carry her kicking and screaming, but after a few minutes she tells me she is ready to be nice now and asks if she can come out. Some days she spends more time in there than others, and I find it tends to be the days when we are just hanging around the house. I think she gets bored and decides to create excitement. If we are out and about and busy she is so much more pleasant.
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  • KC_13KC_13
    10000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Fifth Anniversary
    member

    This is going to sound really silly, but when you give him instructions, do you get down to his level and talk to him, or do you just tell him while he's in the midst of doing something not to do what he's doing while you're elsewhere?

    I noticed my child's listening skills improve greatly if I get on one knee and down to his level, direct him to look at my eyes, and told him an instruction in just few simple words. If I don't do that, he mostly ignores me as well.

    Sometimes silly things like that will change their response.

    I don't think a future consequence would work for any kid in this age group. I think consequences related to immediate things work better. No shoes on--can't go outside to play or go out somewhere fun. No sitting at the table--no dinner.

    In terms of bedtime, I think a structured routine, warnings before transitions, and a picture chart of the activities generally helps the 2ish age range. If your routine is say bath/brush teeth/story/sleep, you could make a picture chart of all the steps. Warn him before the transition--like "1 minute until bath is all done, then we'll check our chart to see what's next".

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  • stop 1-2-3

    if he does not do it when asked...immediate consequence 

    My little girl is growing up! (born 12/09) Little brother is here! (born 5/2012) .  Missing our sweet baby lost in December 2013.  Thank you Lord for my precious family!
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