Cincinnati Babies

Feeling the pressure

I am a first time mom with a complicated situation. My own family is not exactly.... supportive. We have severed most ties. Including with my mom. And most of my friends do not have children or are still waiting. My best girlfriend has one child (whom my husband and I are the godparents of) and they live over 10 hours away. And my mother in law, while an extremely loving, caring, and compassionate woman is best described as "shy". All this put together, I feel like, outside of my husband, I have absolutely NO ONE to talk to about my pregnancy. And when others ask me questions, it just feels odd. I can't gush about my nipples or the weird gases my body is releasing or even ask if this is normal. It feels awkward. Being new at this whole experience, I feel lost. And reading books, you might as well watch jaws and go midnight skinny dipping in the pacific (they do nothing but terrify). And now, some folks accuse me of seeming "not excited" about the pregnancy. Which couldn't be more opposite, since every day my husband and I talk about our baby bean and our hopes and dreams. He completely understands me. I didn't like the wedding experience, I am not one to be center of attention. So needless to say those straying stranger hands constantly searching for my "growing bump" send me running. So I want to talk about our baby but not feel like a) that is the only conversation I am capable of having and b) not seeming weird or a guinea pig to our non-parent friends. Or are my hormones getting the best of me and not hold stock in how these folks view me? One consolation is the bump's community board. Many times my concerns have already been aired here and I don't feel as weird or isolated. So thank you all for that!

Re: Feeling the pressure

  • Sorry to hear about your situation.  My bff was due a few months after me, so it was awesome having her to share it with.  I'm still super close to my other friends who don't have kids, so don't feel like you have to give them up.  We rarely talk about baby stuff when we're together, which is nice.  My DS is the first grandchild (and right now, the only) and is the center of their world.  You'd be surprised how much a baby can make people open up.  Your mother-in-law may open up more once he/she arrives.  Once the baby comes, start looking for social groups with moms that have kids the same age.  It's nice to have a group of people to talk to.  Of course, there are lots of people here.  Be sure to try the other boards since this one only has people from Cincinnati.  I find posting on the wider boards gets you a lot more feedback.  
    imageLilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I agree with what the previous poster said. Also, have you joined your baby's birth month board? That is typically an easy one to jump into, as everyone is going through very similar things at the same time as you. It's usually a great place to ask questions, rant, or just lurk if that's more your style.
  • Thanks for the reassurance. I feel like I just needed to hear it from someone, anyone. I do follow other boards, but was compelled to spill my guts this morning.
  • Don't feel badly! I can totally relate with the attention part of what you're saying. I'm not comfortable with co-workers asking me "how are feeling" every 20 minutes. I feel like saying "If I felt like sh*t would you really want to know?! AND is there anything you can do to change it?" It seems like everyone wants to be your best friend and share all the details about their pregnancy. I enjoy my pregnancy, and my husband and I love to talk about it with eachother. I also share with friends and family- people who care about me and love me. One of my friends described me as "pragmatic" about the pregnancy. She said that it was refreshing to see someone who wasn't starry eyed and baby-obessed 100% of the time. Maybe that's you, too. Don't feel like you have to be excited all the time.. that's just not possible or realistic. Some things just suck about it. Just ride it out and let yourself be.

    Anyway, I'm glad you found the bump and I hope it helps you feel connected to someone throughout the pregnancy. This site has various types of moms, so you'll find your niche. And only read the articles that don't scare you :). There's no need to add extra stress on top of what you are already feeling. Our bodies are amazing and will do what needs to be done.

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • This is a great place to spill the beans so to speak. We are here to support you. I would not be too concerned with what you think you should be doing or what everyone else thinks.

    Try and meet up with local moms, find some that are pregnant just like you. Your husband sounds amazing!

    The Bump is amazing and I have found some gret support/advice...

     

    Pregnancy Ticker
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