So as of my last appointment at 40 and 1 I was still less than a fingertip dilated, very high and posterior. Baby's in position but not dropped, I haven't had any signs of losing my mucus plug and have actually had a decrease in the usual discharge. If she could have reached it at all my OB would have swept my membranes but she could barely reach my cervix as it was. We went back to her office and I knew what was coming. Plan A, she comes on her own. If she's not here or on her way by tomorrow morning I have an NST and sono to check fluid. If either test is no good Plan B is to check in for induction tomorrow night. If she's doing ok, we'll wait till Sunday and then Plan C is to start the foley induction process Sunday night.
Maybe I shouldn't be but I'm devastated. I was sobbing in my OB's office and cried the whole ride home. I know there's a chance she could still come on her own and I've probably just shot myself in the foot with research but I have dread about the pitocin and how that might impact labor - will I be able to do this without drugs, and will my stubborn cervix even respond? Will the baby be able to handle an induction or will we end up on the operating table?
And then there's just the silly expectations of going into labor on your own, the experience that you share with your spouse when your water breaks or the contractions become "real". I know he's not nor would he ever be disappointed in me, but my husband has admitted he was looking forward to that crazy "this is it" moment. Both of my parents took off this week, which was their gamble to take, but I'm also kicking myself for not being able to give them this time with their granddaughter. Out of my control I know I know, but I still hate it and I'm frustrated with my body, something I really don't want to be right now.
So there it is. Naive as it sounds I never thought I'd be facing an induction. We got pregnant so easily (too easily considering it was unplanned, but thank you God all the same), my body seemed to take to pregnancy well.. I just don't understand what stopped happening. I could use any positive experiences you have to share, or even a good kick in the pity pants. Thanks for reading.