What I was judged for: running while visibly pregnant (OMG - the side-eyes I got were astounding), getting an epidural, formula feeding, cloth diapers ...
What I judge for: women who use abortion as birth control (I'm pro-choice, but this infuriates me), parents who live on their cell phones (out at dinner ignoring their kids, like this), this, and, yeah, throw me on the smoking/addict bandwagon too ...
I try to live in the grey areas and give people the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes it's hard to silence that soapbox diva in my head.
Unless they are smoking or drinking, I'm not judgmental.
Funny, though, at a wedding this past weekend... in a conversation about toxoplasmosis (I was 1 of 4 pregnant women at the wedding... there was a lot of preggers talk)... one of the bridesmaid who is 1 week behind me in pregnancy says "you clean your cat's litterbox?" as if disgusted and in a very judgmental way. (I'm a veterinary technician I've had a negative toxo titer, I've had my cat since she was 6 months old, she never goes outside, & I wear gloves - I'm cool with it)... then she says to another bridesmaid, "We should find a liquor store in the morning & have mimosas". Ha! Then she asks if I've drank at all during the pregnancy (self conscious?) I say, "Nope... hasn't been important enough for me to want to do".
I have a difficult time with any pregnant woman who smokes, uses drugs, or drinks at all. Having smoked for 22 years, fully understand how difficult it is to stop. My eyes roll every time I hear someone say that a sip of wine or a small drink here and there won't hurt. To me, that's ridiculous. Few people would not react if they saw a pregnant woman take a drag from a cigarette, yet for some reason, many are okay with an occasional drink. We expect nicotine addicts to stop when pregnant. Why don't we have the same expectation about alcohol? Just as I won't take even one drag from a cigarette while pregnant, I expect that alcohol will be completely avoided for the duration of pregnancies as well.
This is a dumb comparison.
Cigarettes are filled with chemicals and cynanide. We know without a shadow of a doubt cigarettes are harmful and have zero benefit.
Wine is different. Wine has been consumed for thousands of years, is natural, and provides health benefits to the human body. There are a number of studies that show light drinking has no harm to a pregnant woman and can actually provide benefits. Women have been using wine during pregnancy for generations to avoid preterm labor.
I'm glad you typed this so I don't have to . Agreed, that's an ignorant comparison. Cigarettes and wine are not the same. At all. Of course no one advocates heavy drinking but a glass of wine once in a while isn't a big deal.
Thinking it is okay to drink is ignorant. Believing that having "a glass of wine once in a while isn't a big deal" only proves that people lack accurate information regarding the dangers of alcohol use during pregnancy.
Eh, anything can be classified "dangerous" during pregnancy. Consuming peanut butter sandwiches can cause autism for all we know. IMO, I think that pregnant women in America ingest far more dangerous things than wine on a regular basis like diet soda/processed foods/ fast foods full of chemicals but they're not criticized like wine consumption because those things are more mainstream in our society.
During the dark ages when drinking water was unsafe, people consumed primarily wine. If wine was truly so harmful that 1/2 glass every now and then could do irreparable harm we would have all been screwed long ago.
I have a difficult time with any pregnant woman who smokes, uses drugs, or drinks at all. Having smoked for 22 years, fully understand how difficult it is to stop. My eyes roll every time I hear someone say that a sip of wine or a small drink here and there won't hurt. To me, that's ridiculous. Few people would not react if they saw a pregnant woman take a drag from a cigarette, yet for some reason, many are okay with an occasional drink. We expect nicotine addicts to stop when pregnant. Why don't we have the same expectation about alcohol? Just as I won't take even one drag from a cigarette while pregnant, I expect that alcohol will be completely avoided for the duration of pregnancies as well.
This is a dumb comparison.
Cigarettes are filled with chemicals and cynanide. We know without a shadow of a doubt cigarettes are harmful and have zero benefit.
Wine is different. Wine has been consumed for thousands of years, is natural, and provides health benefits to the human body. There are a number of studies that show light drinking has no harm to a pregnant woman and can actually provide benefits. Women have been using wine during pregnancy for generations to avoid preterm labor.
I'm glad you typed this so I don't have to . Agreed, that's an ignorant comparison. Cigarettes and wine are not the same. At all. Of course no one advocates heavy drinking but a glass of wine once in a while isn't a big deal.
Thinking it is okay to drink is ignorant. Believing that having "a glass of wine once in a while isn't a big deal" only proves that people lack accurate information regarding the dangers of alcohol use during pregnancy.
Eh, anything can be classified "dangerous" during pregnancy. Consuming peanut butter sandwiches can cause autism for all we know. IMO, I think that pregnant women in America ingest far more dangerous things than wine on a regular basis like diet soda/processed foods/ fast foods full of chemicals but they're not criticized like wine consumption because those things are more mainstream in our society.
During the dark ages when drinking water was unsafe, people consumed primarily wine. If wine was truly so harmful that 1/2 glass every now and then could do irreparable harm we would have all been screwed long ago.
The first logical thing you've said since being back. Congrats!
I am judged by my family for taking the information out there for pregnant women to heart. I choose to avoid the things that most books recommend (ie. no listeria prone foods, soft cheese, fish with high heavy metals....and the list goes on). They view me as an extremist. Meanwhile, I am a registered nurse who learned a lot of this as part of my curriculum and had to teach some if it for public health. It is frustrating and has made family dynamics with the in-laws complicated.
I am also like this as a mom- i cut grapes in quarters and have cut blueberries in the past too...I don't let my daughter eat hot food off of plastic plates that are not kid safe, or let her have candy (she's about to turn 3). I also choose only age appropriate toys because she still puts everything in her mouth(when will this end?!)
I judge others when they choose to be ignorant about what makes for a healthy pregnancy(in moderation of course) and family life. I think that we have to empower ourselves, as what we do when our little people are forming(especially our DD's because their eggs form during their time in utero) is so important!
But that's why most of us are here at the bump. I love learning from and with this community!
Re: stolen from 2nd tri; judging in pregnancy
So, during more than just pregnancy ...
What I was judged for: running while visibly pregnant (OMG - the side-eyes I got were astounding), getting an epidural, formula feeding, cloth diapers ...
What I judge for: women who use abortion as birth control (I'm pro-choice, but this infuriates me), parents who live on their cell phones (out at dinner ignoring their kids, like this), this, and, yeah, throw me on the smoking/addict bandwagon too ...
I try to live in the grey areas and give people the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes it's hard to silence that soapbox diva in my head.
I didn't slap you; I high-fived your face.
Unless they are smoking or drinking, I'm not judgmental.
Funny, though, at a wedding this past weekend... in a conversation about toxoplasmosis (I was 1 of 4 pregnant women at the wedding... there was a lot of preggers talk)... one of the bridesmaid who is 1 week behind me in pregnancy says "you clean your cat's litterbox?" as if disgusted and in a very judgmental way. (I'm a veterinary technician I've had a negative toxo titer, I've had my cat since she was 6 months old, she never goes outside, & I wear gloves - I'm cool with it)... then she says to another bridesmaid, "We should find a liquor store in the morning & have mimosas". Ha! Then she asks if I've drank at all during the pregnancy (self conscious?) I say, "Nope... hasn't been important enough for me to want to do".
Eh, anything can be classified "dangerous" during pregnancy. Consuming peanut butter sandwiches can cause autism for all we know. IMO, I think that pregnant women in America ingest far more dangerous things than wine on a regular basis like diet soda/processed foods/ fast foods full of chemicals but they're not criticized like wine consumption because those things are more mainstream in our society.
During the dark ages when drinking water was unsafe, people consumed primarily wine. If wine was truly so harmful that 1/2 glass every now and then could do irreparable harm we would have all been screwed long ago.
*bows*
I am judged by my family for taking the information out there for pregnant women to heart. I choose to avoid the things that most books recommend (ie. no listeria prone foods, soft cheese, fish with high heavy metals....and the list goes on). They view me as an extremist. Meanwhile, I am a registered nurse who learned a lot of this as part of my curriculum and had to teach some if it for public health. It is frustrating and has made family dynamics with the in-laws complicated.
I am also like this as a mom- i cut grapes in quarters and have cut blueberries in the past too...I don't let my daughter eat hot food off of plastic plates that are not kid safe, or let her have candy (she's about to turn 3). I also choose only age appropriate toys because she still puts everything in her mouth(when will this end?!)
I judge others when they choose to be ignorant about what makes for a healthy pregnancy(in moderation of course) and family life. I think that we have to empower ourselves, as what we do when our little people are forming(especially our DD's because their eggs form during their time in utero) is so important!
But that's why most of us are here at the bump. I love learning from and with this community!