November 2012 Moms

MIL sent me a book... with a note

It was "Eating Well When You're Expecting". Some back ground. She is a passive agressive PITA, who makes it very clear she doesn't like me. She has been rude and intrusive for years. And she's batsh*t crazy.

So I'm flipping through the book (like you would a cartoon flipbook because I knew there would be a note in it) and come across the note she stuck in the index in the back. It said "Please add the following to your list of name considerations."

What. The. Serious. Fluck.

She suggested 4 names, one of which was the name she wanted to give DH instead of what he was named. Who, in their right mind, would think it is appropriate to do that? Now I'll throw names around with my family, and ask for their opinions, but no one has EVER asked me to seriously consider naming MY and DH's child "X". That is so crossing a line. I'm glad she lives 3 hours away and we don't see her often. I don't think I could keep my cool.

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Re: MIL sent me a book... with a note

  • W.O.W.  What a piece of work she is!!
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  • Wow.  She sounds like a major B****.  The name considerations is overstepping the line, but what gets me is the book!!!  Is she pretty much calling you fat???  You are a better woman than I for even throwing the names around with your family.  I'd throw the entire list away.  All I can say is Wow.  Good luck with that crazy.
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  • I hope you just ignore her. First off no one should tell you what to put in your body except maybe your doctor. 

    The name thing is just lame. My MIL told me she didn't like our name and our son will be named after my FIL, so in the end I think we'll say screw it and do our own thing. 

     

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  • While I completely agree with you that she's crossing the line with both the book and the nameing suggestions.. maybe it's just her way of being involved since she's hours away from you? I'm in no way defending her but I know my MIL was starting to crossing the like a little bit with they things she said/did. She also lives about 3 hours away and we don't see her a whole lot. She loves to knit so she's working on knitting LO some hats and socks and stuff. It's something small but it keeps her busy, "involved", and out of our business! lol (at least for now...)
    I suggest you find her a project of some sort! Something small that in no way actually effects you and/or baby but keeps her out of your way! lol
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  • image lavet22:
    Wow.  She sounds like a major B****.  The name considerations is overstepping the line, but what gets me is the book!!!  Is she pretty much calling you fat???  You are a better woman than I for even throwing the names around with your family.  I'd throw the entire list away.  All I can say is Wow.  Good luck with that crazy.

    LOL. DH and I throw OUR name list around with my family. Not hers. We did throw the entire list away! She could have suggested a name that was our top choice and I would have thrown it out, because she would assume that we named our child the name she picked.

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  • And I haven't figured out if the book is saying that she thinks I'm too fat or too thin. I try not to speculate because it just makes me mad.
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  • I think you should send her a diet cook book.  Also, return the name list with a hand-written "No thanks" on it.
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  • image SLHurst11:
    I think you should send her a diet cook book.  Also, return the name list with a hand-written "No thanks" on it.

    Love it! She actually had gastric bypass surgery 3 years ago and has started to regain the weight!

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  • image kaileyc:

    image SLHurst11:
    I think you should send her a diet cook book.  Also, return the name list with a hand-written "No thanks" on it.

    Love it! She actually had gastric bypass surgery 3 years ago and has started to regain the weight!

    Ah, well maybe that's part of the issue. Maybe she thinks fetal nutrition contributed to her weight problem; or maybe, like so many people who lose large amounts of weight do, she's become something of an armchair nutritionist.

    My MIL texts me a couple times a week to nag me about not talking to the OB enough, not resting enough, not walking enough, whatever else she's decided I am doing wrong. I just text back, "I feel fine! How are you?"

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  • That's crazy!  My MIL suggested a name to DH to "strongly consider".  Um, yeah thank! 

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  • I actually laughed out loud at this.  I am sorry you are dealing with such a PITA.

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  • image DelBride2012:
    image kaileyc:

    image SLHurst11:
    I think you should send her a diet cook book.  Also, return the name list with a hand-written "No thanks" on it.

    Love it! She actually had gastric bypass surgery 3 years ago and has started to regain the weight!

    Ah, well maybe that's part of the issue. Maybe she thinks fetal nutrition contributed to her weight problem; or maybe, like so many people who lose large amounts of weight do, she's become something of an armchair nutritionist.

    My MIL texts me a couple times a week to nag me about not talking to the OB enough, not resting enough, not walking enough, whatever else she's decided I am doing wrong. I just text back, "I feel fine! How are you?"

     

    Wow!  That is really crossing the line!!

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  • That is ridiculous! I'd move FURTHER away!!!!!! Burn the book and note girl... don't you dare let her rain on your parade!!
  • Oh that is ridiculous! That would light me up!

    Thank God my MIL and I have chosen to just leave each other alone after years of not getting along. We pretty much only talk for holidays, and only visit about once a year. Works best for all of us, DH included.

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  • CTA7CTA7 member
    Maybe I'm alone in this, but this behavior just strikes me as annoying, not scandalous.  So she has a name suggestion? You don't have to use it.  It's only a big deal if you make it one.  And sometimes a cookbook is just a cookbook (especially here where you can't tell if it's because she thinks you're too fat or too thin).
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  • image orchid8407:
    image DelBride2012:
    [Ah, well maybe that's part of the issue. Maybe she thinks fetal nutrition contributed to her weight problem; or maybe, like so many people who lose large amounts of weight do, she's become something of an armchair nutritionist.

    My MIL texts me a couple times a week to nag me about not talking to the OB enough, not resting enough, not walking enough, whatever else she's decided I am doing wrong. I just text back, "I feel fine! How are you?"

    Wow!  That is really crossing the line!!

    Shrug. She cares a lot and also feels totally out of control (because she is). That's a tough combination.

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  • I'm actually starting to wonder if she maybe saw the book and said to herself, "Oooh, a special book for pregnancy cooking!  That's neat, I bet DIL would like that."  Hmm...

    The name list sucks though.  My mom keeps saying the same 2 names to me that she just LOVES for a girl.  It's annoying.  I told her those names are better for boys and/or dogs.

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  • image CTA7:
    Maybe I'm alone in this, but this behavior just strikes me as annoying, not scandalous.  So she has a name suggestion? You don't have to use it.  It's only a big deal if you make it one.  And sometimes a cookbook is just a cookbook (especially here where you can't tell if it's because she thinks you're too fat or too thin).

    ITA. This is one I'd chalk up to annoying, but not worth it. She seems like someone you'll have to pick your battles with and this doesn't seem worth getting upset over. Heck, family, friends, and random strangers pull this stuff on a daily basis.

    Vent on TB and then save your energy for the big ones, like if she tries to be in the delivery room or tries to parent you child. 


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  • I agree. WOW! Sorry you have to deal with that.
  • image SLHurst11:

    I'm actually starting to wonder if she maybe saw the book and said to herself, "Oooh, a special book for pregnancy cooking!  That's neat, I bet DIL would like that."  Hmm...

    The name list sucks though.  My mom keeps saying the same 2 names to me that she just LOVES for a girl.  It's annoying.  I told her those names are better for boys and/or dogs.

    I wish it was this. I know that it's not because of her past behavior. There is always a reason behind everything she does. I've learned this the hard way!

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  • image CTA7:
    Maybe I'm alone in this, but this behavior just strikes me as annoying, not scandalous.  So she has a name suggestion? You don't have to use it.  It's only a big deal if you make it one.  And sometimes a cookbook is just a cookbook (especially here where you can't tell if it's because she thinks you're too fat or too thin).

    I didn't say it was scandalous. It is annoying! I posted it as a vent and because I thought that many would find it amusing. And the way she suggested the names wasn't like "Oh, I heard "X" for a boy name today and thought it was cute and/or that you might like it." which is totally ok. She asked us to put the names on our "list". That isn't cool, at least not with the kind of relationship we have.

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  • image LittlePowderPuff:

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    My thoughts exactly LOL

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  • Along a similar line of nutty... MIL "jokingly" (I hope) calls our baby Julie, because that is what DH would have been named if he was a girl. He ended up Andrew, because she was obsessed with The Sound of Music and Julie Andrews. True story. Needless to say, baby will not be named Julie lol. 

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