December 2011 Moms

MY DH asked THAT question

So driving home yesterday from a family bbq yesterday my DH comes out of no where and asks "So when do you want to have another one?".  I just about spit out the water that I was drinking at the time.  We have always planned on having 2 children (except during the colicky 1st 3 months of our DS's life when I would have swore I was never having another child), but we always talked about waiting at least 2-3 years before trying for another.  It caught me off guard that he was asking that question first and not me.  We talked about it for a little while and he said that he doesn't feel close to his older brother at all (there is 8 years difference between them) and wants J to have a sibling that he can be close to growing up.  I completely understand (my sister and I are 10 years apart) so we decided that we would talk about it again after J turns 1. 

So have any of your DH's surprised you with their readiness to have another baby?

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Re: MY DH asked THAT question

  • My DH and I have always talked about having our first two kids pretty close together and then having a break, and then having two more. I was just suprised that he went along with it I guess. He is really easy going though and if I want something he pretty much just goes with it unless he's completely against it.

    I'm actually waiting until tomorrow morning to take a pregnancy test, I am 4 days late right now so we'll see. If I am pregnant my due date will be March 8th.

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  • ebd08ebd08
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    Oh yes...DH has been pestering me for at least 2 months now about when we can start trying for #2.  I am nowhere near ready yet.

    Just my opinion, but closeness in age does not always equal a close relationship.  My brother and I are 2.5 years apart and he never wanted anything to do with me.  We have zero common interests and rarely ever played together when we were little. 

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  • DH is finally on board with having two. He knows how much I want them to be close in age, and I finally got him to talk about it with me this past week. He admitted that he's really not a fan of the baby stage. If I could just pop out a 5year old he'd be on board lol. It's hard for him to understand that DD will be a totally different baby/kid by the time a 9month pregnancy is up, but I'm glad we finally had an honest conversation about it. 
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  • mtb21mtb21
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    DH seems to alternate between wanting one soon & waiting a bit longer. I think he is on board with my plan to start trying when DS is a year old though.

    Mom to two December boys, 2011 & 2013
  • I would like to try TTC when DS is about 2.  I will turn 30 two months before he turns two so maybe after my birthday we will start trying. I love birthdays and I fully intend on having a huge birthday bash...

    My husband keeps talking about Will's "baby brother or sister"  and how much he misses the baby stage..I am like HELLO he is still a baby!!!!  I just want to enjoy him as much as possible right now!

  • ccip82ccip82
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    DH asked when we could have another as I was in the hospital recovering from my C-section...I could have throat punched him ;)

    In all seriousness though we know we definitely want more. I would like to lose some weight first and we have everyone on both sides of our family coming out to Scotland to visit next summer...I do not want to be pregnant then because I will be playing tour guide and a pregnant tour guide is not something I or anyone else would enjoy. 

    We will see what happens... 

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       Emma                        Max      Iain 

  • We haven't officially talked about it, but H just turned 33 so he isn't getting any younger! It will probably happen in the next year or two.
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    Charlie - 12/11/2011 * Surprise! #2 - EDD 2/17/2015

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  • DH has been pushing for #2 for quite awhile. Even when I was still pregnant he said he wanted to start TTC #2 after the 6 week check up. I had a c/s so that got delayed a bit. Now that DS is 6 months old he's pushing again. We're kinda in the "whatever happens" boat right now.

    DH isn't close at all with his brother (they are 4 years apart). And my sister is 8 years older and we don't speak. My brother is 11 years older and we get along great--but it's pretty odd. I know keeping our children close in age won't ensure that they'll be close. But I hope it will help. Either way I'd like to be done having babies by the time I'm 30. Both DH and I have older parents and we feel cheated in lots of ways because of this. So when DH started pushing for #2 I wasn't too shocked. He's actually handled the baby stage much better than I have.

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  • Someone was encouraging us to have a second. My husband replied that if you try for #2 that #3 might tag along. We aren't ready for either of those.
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  • We're nowhere near ready for #2. It's mostly an income issue. We are in jobs where we don't get our raises since we are "frozen" due to budget issues (teacher and cop). Hopefully something changes soon because we do want another. Before LO was born, we wanted them 2 years apart. Now we're thinking 3 years. But our parents sure are pestering us already!
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  • image TiffJ21:

    My DH and I have always talked about having our first two kids pretty close together and then having a break, and then having two more. I was just suprised that he went along with it I guess. He is really easy going though and if I want something he pretty much just goes with it unless he's completely against it.

    I'm actually waiting until tomorrow morning to take a pregnancy test, I am 4 days late right now so we'll see. If I am pregnant my due date will be March 8th.

    Aww!  Good luck!  Keep us posted Smile

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  • image ccip82:

    DH asked when we could have another as I was in the hospital recovering from my C-section...I could have throat punched him ;)

    In all seriousness though we know we definitely want more. I would like to lose some weight first and we have everyone on both sides of our family coming out to Scotland to visit next summer...I do not want to be pregnant then because I will be playing tour guide and a pregnant tour guide is not something I or anyone else would enjoy. 

    We will see what happens... 

    I would have punched him too!  I don't think I am ready now but I do see myself being ready alot sooner then I ever thought I would.  I am 29 and I have always said I want to be finished by the time I am 33.  If we have a second DS I might want to try for a third (maybe!), so I don't want to wait too long. 

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  • DH was never really a baby or even kid person until DS was born.  We had always agreed that two kids being the ideal family for us, but now, DH is totally wanting more... He's so far upped it from 2 to 3, and recently from 3 to 4... I'm fine with 2-3, but 4 is so not happening.  DH has been asking if we should consider TTC #2, but I think we both agreed to let the topic rest for a bit longer since DS is not yet 7 months... But I'm sure DH will be back. :)

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  • ccip82ccip82
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    image TiffJ21:

    My DH and I have always talked about having our first two kids pretty close together and then having a break, and then having two more. I was just suprised that he went along with it I guess. He is really easy going though and if I want something he pretty much just goes with it unless he's completely against it.

    I'm actually waiting until tomorrow morning to take a pregnancy test, I am 4 days late right now so we'll see. If I am pregnant my due date will be March 8th.

     Good luck!! Keep us posted :) 

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       Emma                        Max      Iain 

  • DH would like 2 children.  I, on the other hand, am not so sure.  The thought of 2kids scares me to death.  But DH has been very good about not pushing the issue.  He said we'll see how the first couple years go with DD and then talk about having a 2nd.  The down side of waiting is that we're both in our 30's and not getting any younger...
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  • MH would be totally fine if I got pregnant right now and we are not preventing at all. However, we needed the help of an RE for J so it will probably be after J's first birthday that we seriously start talking about it.
    BFP #1 on 11/19/10, m/c 12/5/10
    BFP #2 on 4/12/11, J born on 12/14/11

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  • image carissali:

    DH was never really a baby or even kid person until DS was born.  We had always agreed that two kids being the ideal family for us, but now, DH is totally wanting more... He's so far upped it from 2 to 3, and recently from 3 to 4... I'm fine with 2-3, but 4 is so not happening.  DH has been asking if we should consider TTC #2, but I think we both agreed to let the topic rest for a bit longer since DS is not yet 7 months... But I'm sure DH will be back. :)

    Thats cute!

    My DH was always set on two until DS was born. I however always wanted 4 and now some days I'd like to stop at 1. Now he's promising he'll get a vasectomy if I'll agree to 3 and consider 4. :S

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  • motangmotang
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    Before this baby was born my husband talked about having two kids close in age.  I also thought it would be nice to have them close in age so I'm all for it.  He hasn't changed his mind since G was born and I know he's ready to TTC #2.  He's pretty much waiting for me to give the green light. 
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  • We have actually been TTC #3 since March, but with some recent findings we may have to delay.
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  • DH hasn't asked that question yet but I have asked him. Yet to get a straight answer, which usually means he wants me to make that decision. The decision has been made. We will start trying again next summer and pray for a spring/summer baby next time.
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  • image ealauber:
    DH hasn't asked that question yet but I have asked him. Yet to get a straight answer, which usually means he wants me to make that decision. The decision has been made. We will start trying again next summer and pray for a spring/summer baby next time.

    DH seems to want it to be up to me too. I'm glad I'm not the only one in this boat. It's such a big life changing decision, and when I ask him when he's all like "I don't care". I don't understand how he can't have a huge opinion on this, and I don't want to feel like I'm forcing anything.  

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  • I originally wanted at least 2 but probably closer to 4. Now, I think we're one & done. It took us 3 years, 2 losses & a really rough, unhealthy pregnancy to get O. I think there is a higher power telling us to be grateful and I'm ok with that. 
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  • yes! dd just turned 6 months and dh is saying lets have another one shes getting to big already! dd is a very very good baby sleeps through the night and doesnt cry really so i told dh that if we had another one it would probably be the complete opposite! lol so for now i think i want to wait 

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  • DH sprung that one on me when DS was about 2 months old.  I was ready to kill him at the time, but I've softened up to the idea now and we are not really trying, but not really preventing right now.

    I will be 38 this month so we don't want to wait too much longer for #2.  

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  • DH is saying no to #2.  One reason is because the labor I had and what we went through with DS having respiratory failure (didn't breath for 2 minutes after being delivered via emergency c-section) and his cord around his neck twice.  Plus he was in the NICU for 5 days so you can say that put an end to even thinking about #2.  The idea pops in my head from time to time but then it goes back to what happened with DS.  So I am kinda afraid of even thinking about #2.  I know all pregnancy are not the same but I was on bed rest for the last half of my pregnancy due to pre-term labor.  Don't know what to think. 
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