Stay at Home Moms

How far are your children spaced?

I have always wanted to have my children close in age. I grew up with a brother that was only 2 years 8 months younger than I. We were really close and still to this day have a great relationship.

When I was 19, I had my oldest DD. She will be 11 next month. My youngest just turned 1. It is a really huge age difference. DH and I plan on having more but we are really not sure of the spacing we want. 

So how far apart are your children spaced? Did you do this on purpose? Do you like how far spaced they are?

~ Cassie ~

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Re: How far are your children spaced?

  • DD1 was about a week shy of 19 months when DD2 was born. Yes, we did it on purpose, we always knew we wanted them close in age for a lot of reasons. I love having them this close, but if we choose to have a third we'll aim for a larger gap - closer to 2-2.5 years.
    Mama to two sweet girls
    DD1 Feb 2010
    DD2 Sept 2011


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  • 1 and 2 are 18 months apart, 2 and 3 are 19 months apart and 3 and 4 will be 3Y9months apart.

    We didn't do any of the spacing on purpose. I don't know any different than the 1.5 year spacing, so this last spacing will be a new one for me.

    It's harder when they are younger and they are closer together since they're all needy at the same time.

    Every age span has its advantages and disadvantages.

    GL! 

    image Mommy to Barbara 11/8/05, Elisabeth 5/13/07, Loukas 12/23/08 and Lazarus 09/25/12
  • Our kids are 2 yrs 8 mo. apart.  They will be 6.5 and 4 years old when the baby comes.  We would have had closer spacing, but I've had two losses. 

    My brother and I are 4.5 years apart and are very close. My DH's brother is 2 years younger than he is, and they never talk. I don't think it really matters as far as sibling relations go. 

    I will say, however, that my friends with wider spaced kids seem much more sane than my friends with closer spacing.  :)

    SAHM to DD1 (7), DS (5) and DD2 (1)
  • 2 years and 1 month!  I love the spacing.  Big Bro loves his little bro and was jealous for 1 day total.  They play as much as they can with one another.  Big Bro still naps so, I still get a break during the day.  I wouldn't want any closer.  I am happy they are 2 years apart since I feel like older Bro is more of a child and not a baby!  

    At DS1s 1st Birthday we felt we really wanted another one.  We didn't prevent but didn't try.  I got pregnant first try but miscarried that one.  The miscarriage really made us realize how much we wanted.  I got pregnant the next cycle after the miscarriage.  Much more fertile the second time around then the first time around!!

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  • image almostjennifer:

    Our kids are 2 yrs 8 mo. apart.  They will be 6.5 and 4 years old when the baby comes.  We would have had closer spacing, but I've had two losses

    My brother and I are 4.5 years apart and are very close. My DH's brother is 2 years younger than he is, and they never talk. I don't think it really matters as far as sibling relations go. 

    I will say, however, that my friends with wider spaced kids seem much more sane than my friends with closer spacing.  :)

    So sorry for you losses. I, too, have experience two losses. 

    ~ Cassie ~

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  • By the time my firstborn was your second child's age, I already had a newborn. :)  My kids are 12.5 months apart. We did it on purpose for a number of reasons--financial (less time out of the workforce with back to back kids), logistically (easier to travel with 2 kids who have similar interests vs a 6 year old and a 1 year old), and personal (we both had positive experiences with friends/family members who had closely spaced siblings, while I was an only and hated it/DH had big gaps between his siblings and they were never close).

    I really love this spacing. For me, it worked well because when I was pregnant I got to rest a ton since I had a baby who still napped 3 times a day. We didn't have the kind of social calendar like we have now so if I felt crappy and just wanted to lie in bed all day I could just throw a whole bunch of toys in my bed and he would be entertained. It was great. He was too young to be jealous so he transitioned fine when he brought the new baby home. He was fairly new to walking so he was much more entertained by exploring vs holding the baby.

    Now that they're both toddlers, they can entertain each other and don't need me all the time. They are super close and my son is so nurturing towards the baby. He never acts out towards her.

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  • I wanted them 2 years apart. We've had 2 miscarriages since DS and TTC is currently on hold. So, they're definitely going to be at least 3.5 years apart and I'm really starting to feel good about that age difference. DS will be older and a bit more independent. Also, he'll be old enough to really understand what's happening so I think it will be exciting to share the experience with him.
  • I'm new to SAHM so this is my first post on this board...

    I'm like you. We had our first when we were 17 (not on purpose obviously) and she will be 9 yrs old on Halloween. We just had our 2nd baby 3 weeks ago and honestly, I LOVE the age gap between them. I'm sure you know how helpful it is having the older one. If I were you though and wanted more kids, I would try to have the the next one as close to your 1 year old as possible. Good luck with everything and I'm sure your decision will be whatever is best for your family :)

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  • DD & DS are 20 months apart. We love it. Wouldn't change a thing. 

    I hope to have our 3rd when DS is 20 months (so I'd get pregnant just before his 1st birthday).

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  • I wanted to add that my sister is 6 years older than myself and we are very close. It can happen. :)   Heck, my oldest brother is 14 years older than me and we are close too.
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  • We don't have LO #2 yet but they will be almost exactly 20 months apart.  DH wanted another ASAP, I was not ready until DD was 8 months.  It took a few months TTC.  We both wanted to get the infant & pregnancy part out of the way so we could enjoy our complete family.

     

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  • We are one and done, but if something changes I'd like to have about a 2-3 yr span between them.  It just seems like a good space.  My cousin's oldest girls have that length between them and it worked well for her. 
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  • image HollyBabyNumber2:

    I'm new to SAHM so this is my first post on this board...

    I'm like you. We had our first when we were 17 (not on purpose obviously) and she will be 9 yrs old on Halloween. We just had our 2nd baby 3 weeks ago and honestly, I LOVE the age gap between them. I'm sure you know how helpful it is having the older one. If I were you though and wanted more kids, I would try to have the the next one as close to your 1 year old as possible. Good luck with everything and I'm sure your decision will be whatever is best for your family :)

    Your LO is beautiful. 

    It is very nice having two with such an age difference. I don't know how I could have gotten through the last year with out my oldest help. She is so wonderful.

    ~ Cassie ~

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  • We only have one so far, but have been trying for our 2nd since the week DD turned 1, with an early loss in February.

    We wanted about 2 years. Now, it's looking like it will be close to 3 years or more. At this point, I am trying to let go of my *ideal* and am just praying that we will be able to have more than 1 child at some point.

    DD1: Maya 05/10
    DD2: Lucia (Lucy) 07/13
  • Ours are 16 months apart (not planned) and I love it.  It was definitely harder in the beginning and crazy at times, but it was a lot easier than I had anticipated.  However, I was blessed with 2 amazing sleepers that still take naps at the same time.  If you are sleeping, anything is manageable

    We are still thinking about going for one more, which would be very different.  But we are now in a neighborhood with a ton of kids all different ages and lots of things for kids to do, which makes a huge difference.  GL!

    image
    DS 3.12.08
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  • MrsLntMrsLnt
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    30 seconds. I always said I wanted children 3-4 years apart. Life clearly had other plans :P If we have another, it'll probably be when the twins are 3 or 4.
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  • Mine are 20 months apart.  DS was a big surprise, we were hoping to have our kids closer to 3 years apart. 

    At first, it was tough.  Now I'm super happy with the way things turned out and I'm glad my kids are close in age.  I think there are pros and cons to both having kids close together and widely spaced.  

     

    Ms. A  - 2007, Mr. C - 2009
  • My girls are 2 years and 8 months apart. We started TTC when DD1 turned 1, but it took 14 months to conceive. That was really hard, but now I'm thankful for the extra time. I was on modified bed rest for 5 weeks, and we were able to get by without childcare help because DD1 was an independent 2.5-year-old. I'm just over 3 years older than my next sibling and we're quite close now, so I'm hopeful that my girls will grow up to be good friends.
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  • Ours are spaced just over 4 years apart.  We didn't start trying until DD turned 2.  That is more because I wasn't ready to have another baby than caring how far apart the kids would be spaced.  Then it took us a while to get pregnant, so this is the spacing we ended up with. 

    ETA: So far, the 4 year spacing has worked out really well.  DD1 is super lovey with DD2.  She loves to be around her younger sister.  She's also old enough to handle the fact that DD2 is colicky and needs a LOT of attention.  I can't imagine having a younger toddler and baby with colic.  I know people do it, but that's a crazy amount of stress for a littler one to live with.



    Nola 3.30.08

    Lucy 5.15.12


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  • My first two are 22 months apart and it was a great spread for us. We're hoping for a third, who will be at least 3.5 years younger than the second at this point, which is not my ideal but we'll take it.
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  • My first two are 2 years 8 months. I am hoping for a 3rd and I would like that age difference again. It has been wonderful for us and I am hoping they stay close always!
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  • They will be 4 years 3 months apart.  Had I not had m/cs, they would have been exactly 3 years apart, or 3 yrs 3 months, or 3 years 5 months, or  3 years 9 months.  So this isn't what we planned, but I am super excited about it now.

    My sister and I are 3 years 11 months apart - 4 school years.  We were very close growing up and VERY close now.  She is my best friend.  

    For my family, I am excited that I got to do the baby years and toddler years with just one and then get to start again when my DD starts preK in the fall (a few months before the baby is due).  Granted I'm making lemons out of lemonade because this isn't what we were trying to do, but I am thinking it is going to have a lot of pros.  My mom had the same situation and talks about how nice it was to have so much time with me as a baby since my older sister was 4 and starting school.  

    It's funny how this has ended up very similar to my childhood. 

  • our kids are 5 yrs 2 month apart. i wanted them to be closer in age but it took awhile to get preg. I was worried about the 5 yr difference but its great! ds can help me out with dd. so im happy about it now :-)

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  • Alex & Taylor are 26 months apart.  Taylor and Dylan are 29 months apart.
    Our plan was 18-24 mo, but I had 2 miscarriages.  I like the spacing.  I think A&T are closer than T&D - but D&A are really close too.

  • They are 3 years apart (and my boys are 1 minute apart). No we didn't do it on purpose. I was actually hoping they'd be closer in age, but it took a while to get pregnant.

     My sister and I are almost 5 years apart. It felt like a lot growing up. We lived in different worlds.

    Married 07.07.07. Mom to 3: Ruby 11/08 and Oliver & Austin 12/11
  • There is a 14.5 year difference between Jordan and Ben.  I always thought that I'd have my kids a few years apart, but sometimes shiit happens and your plans don't always work out.  It has its advantages and disadvantages, like any age gap.

    I am 38 weeks pregnant and there will be just shy of 4.5 years between Ben and Alex (this baby).  I'm exited about the spacing between these two.  Ben really 'gets' it and is super excited to be a big brother.  I know that it will still be an adjustment for him, but I think it will be easier for him than if he were younger. 

     

  • DS turned three in April and we still haven't decided with we are going to TTC.  Probably next year. 
    April 2009
  • My two will be a little under 4.5 years apart. I'll get back to you in about 3 months on how well that's working out!

    We weren't sure we were going to have more than one. When we did decide to try for one more, I would have been ok with up to a 5 year age gap, but not much more. DH and I decided to give it 6 months of trying shortly after DD turned 3.5 and see what happened. Surprise, I got pregnant on the first cycle (at age 37)! 

    I grew up with a brother 5 years younger and I didn't think I'd want my kids to be so far apart, but when it came down to the reality of parenting my DD, I absolutely wasn't ready to consider TTC another child until my first was 3.5.

    I don't thrive on the chaos of early childhood. I like that DD can do a lot of things herself now and I'll have plenty of one-on-one time with the next baby during his toddler years as DD will be in school all day. I also like that I won't have two kids in college at the same time. In fact, they'll probably be 5 years apart in school because with a September (or maybe late August) birthday, DS will probably not be eligible and/or ready to start kindergarden when he's just barely 5 years old.

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  • Ours are 23 months apart and it is wonderful.  We planned on having them 2-2.5 years apart and got pg right away.  Now they are 2 and 4 and they play together so well (when they aren't ripping each others' hair out, of course).  My brother and I are 2.5 yrs apart and we were really close growing up, still are now.  DH has 4 years between each sibling (he's in the middle) and he was in different worlds from each of them growing up.  These factors definitely impacted our decision.
  • DS1 and DS2 are 22 months apart and I LOVE it!  I wanted DS2 and #3 closer, but DH wasn't on board.  We just found out that #3 is due in March.  DS2 will be 2 1/2, DS1 will be 4.

    Married to J since 5/05, Mommy to T (10/08), L (08/10) and C (02/13) who was born at home.

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