3rd Trimester

I think I turn him off :/

I was gone with DS for three weeks, and we have been home for four weeks now. DH and I have had sexy time 2-3 time within the first week of being home.. now nothing. He shows NO interest at all..anyone going throught it? I feel like if anything I turn him offTongue Tied

Re: I think I turn him off :/

  • Hubs and I have gone from almost every day in the early days to 2-3 times a week during the cute bump phase to now a big fat NOTHING because someone thinks Knocked Up is real life and is afraid he's going to hurt the baby. Don't have the heart to tell him there's not a chance in hell she'd even know he was there, but alas.. until we get the 6-week all clear it looks I'm on my own. 
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • My husband and I have had sexy time 4 times since I got pregnant. Between excessive m/s 1st, and pain during since 18 weeks, it just doesn't happen. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Hubby and I went through a major dry spell, he just wasn't in the mood.  He has a lot on his mind with this being our first, he's scared.  He also said when we would have sex, he didn't think I was enjoying it because I was uncomfortable.  IDK what happened between then and now, but the sexy time is back on in full force.  Maybe you should have your husband read the daddy section on here, it might clear up some things he might be thinking about and ease his fears.
  • My H and I have gone through phases. Before the BFP it was daily, then during the first tri about 3-4 times a week, now it is about once a week. He's hot, I'm hot, I feel huge, it can be uncomfortable, the baby kicks etc.. hang in there
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Until last week we had gone for almost 3 weeks without, and the only reason it happened last week was because I guilt tripped him.  He claims it just wierds him out and it feels all different.  He even claims he can tell if I'm dilated or not, I literally laughed inside when he said this.  I get cuddle time and other things in his own way, so I'm not too concerned.  Besides, since being pregnant I cannot get off with sex anymore so I'm sure that frustrates him. I cannot wait until we are cleared for normal sex again!! 
    image

    image

    image 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • It's sex. Not sexy time.

    And it's not as good for me right now, which means it's not as great for him. So, yea, we're in a crappy spell right now, too.

    Have you talked to him?  Might be worth asking him if everything is ok?  Did you not go through this with your last pregnancy? 

    image Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I've felt this same way and it's terrible to feel that way. I tried talking about it but all he says is "because of the baby". He never read the baby books or anything baby related really so I'm sure he has no idea what's safe and what isn't. I've tried explaining but I get no response and that just makes you feel worse. But it feels good to let him know how I feel, but crappy that he seems to not care.
  • We went from probably 2-3 times a week to nothing. I mentioned to DH last week the number of days we had left before LO arrives and I think it really freaked him out. He never had any worries about feeling baby or anything but he said that now that LO is big enough and could come, he feels like it would be "doing it" with the baby laying in bed with us.

    I don't see it that way but whatever. I told him when I hit 39 weeks and haven't made any progress then he's gonna have to suck it up because I'll be trying everything I can to start labor.


        Oliver 7.23.12                Harry likes bananas

    imageimage
  • I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way.  Lately he doesn't seem all that interested in it.  He promises it's not me but it's hard not to take it personally when I'm starting to feel like a fat/bloated blob. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image nerdbaby:
    Hubs and I have gone from almost every day in the early days to 2-3 times a week during the cute bump phase to now a big fat NOTHING because someone thinks Knocked Up is real life and is afraid he's going to hurt the baby. Don't have the heart to tell him there's not a chance in hell she'd even know he was there, but alas.. until we get the 6-week all clear it looks I'm on my own. 
     

    me too.... my hubs feels awkward doing some "dirtier" positions while im pregnant -- and really, at this stage, not much else works... its totally normal for them to not want to get sexually involved because they covet us & our growing babies. i still get turned on so i just suggest he does other stuff to me & thats cool.  usually leads to sex anyway :)  im sure you dont turn him off, im totally imagining he is just looking out for you all.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
    image
  • DH isn't really interested either.  He was this way during my other 2 pregnancies as well.  Rest assured, he'll be interested again!  I try to remind myself that it's hard for him to get past the fact that there are technically 3 of us.  Also, DH just isn't into the big belly thing.  I know once I have the baby and things settle down he'll be OVERLY interested again...ha!  :) 
    image
    • DD1: August 2009
    • DD2: December 2010
    • DS: August 2012
    • Chemical Pregnancy 9/2013 @ 4w3d
    Musings of a Farmer's Wife
  • image mrs.kapow:

    It's sex. Not sexy time.

    You must be a ton-o-fun during "sex".  Good grief...

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • image nerdbaby:
    image mrs.kapow:

    It's sex. Not sexy time.

    You must be a ton-o-fun during "sex".  Good grief...

     This made me LOL

  • image nerdbaby:
    image mrs.kapow:

    It's sex. Not sexy time.

    You must be a ton-o-fun during "sex".  Good grief...

    HaHa I know-right

  • My husband does not find pregnancy sexy. He thinks I'm beautiful, but pregnant belly does not equal a turn on for him. 

    I can't really blame him. Big belly = baby inside. Babies are not a turn on! Exact opposite.

    For us doggie style or spooning is all that works. me on top is no longer an option because if he sees or feels my belly he immediately goes soft.

    I'm not offended by it -  I really can't blame him for not being turned on by pregnancy, ya know?

    image > Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • When my DH and i met we did the sexy time as often as we could get time together (like every day), then he hurt his back and for the last three years it's been like once or twice a week. Since we got pregnant i was worried in the first 12 weeks so we took it easy, now though it seems he's totally given up on it. I've been suggesting it at least three times a week even though i feel like crap pregnancy wise, but i really need some TLC and sexy time. It's like somebody brainwashed him, he never wants it. I don't think we've had sexy time for the last three months (insane i know). It's not cool feeling unwanted when your body is crazy on hormones. I have told him that if baby doesn't show signs of coming within week 38 (this week) we'll be doing the monkey dance every day until baby gets here and he's agreed (although reluctantly).. Maybe we're just beeing hormonal, but it's still nice to feel wanted when we feel like we're big as a house.


    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • You should talk to him. I'm sure he is still attracted to you because he loves you. It could be something, just like these ladies are saying, like him being afraid to hurt you or hurt the baby. My husband and I try to stay pretty honest and open about this stuff. Ours has definately slowed down but I make sure that we communicate about it so we both agree and know why.  Hang in there! He is lucky to have a wife that is so concerned and wants it to happen too. Maybe he just doesn't want you to feel added pressure of that on top of the wonderful pregnancy changes we ladies are going through. Talk to him, it will make you both feel better about it!

  • I honestly don't think you are turning him off! I know my DH is afraid of hurting me, because I have had some uncomfortable moments, and instead of switching it up to make me comfortable sometimes it just totally kills the mood for him, because he is afraid that he is going to hurt me. It is very frustrating for both of us, but there's not much we can do, we tried this past weekend and it was a fail, prior to that it has been about a month since the last time and probably a month prior to that! You are not alone and I would recommend talking to him about it and how you feel. DH & I know these things can't be helped so we are just really looking forward to having those amazing moments once DS is here!
  • Could also possibly be that he is extra stressed or tired.  Or maybe the heat?  My DH started a new job a few weeks ago and it's been very physically demanding on him.  He wakes up super early and works up to 15 hour days.  He comes home and both of us mean well and want to have "sexy time" but usually we just end up sleeping. So we go a week or two in between sometimes.  I'm hoping pretty soon we'll go back to only going no more than 2-3 days in between.
    image

    PitaPata Dog tickers


    PitaPata Dog tickers



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • DH and I just had this talk the other night and he basically told me two things.  He spends so much time worrying about squishing me and the baby or how much work it is on me if I get on top, that its hard for him to get in the mood.  And I guess sometimes when he is getting into it he hits my cervix or pelvic bone and it really hurts him.  He never told me that before and I told him that when he hurts it hurts me too I just grin and bear it!  We laughed, then we did it, and we agreed that we know we love each other and that in a few weeks we will be back at it like rabbits!

    image



    image
  • We have hit a dry spell, too. It is not fun. I am uncomfortable in most postions and sometimes I'm just not in the mood (and then when I am in the mood he is at work!) and so I think he just gave up because I would be complaining about being uncomfortable or syaing, "no, not like that!"... "Ouch, this is not fun"... I think I kinda killed the mood a few times but, man! It's hard every which way I try it - either my big belly is hanging in the wind and feels unsupported or I feel like I'm being squished...

    On a brighter note I just started reading 50 Shades of Grey and its helping me to get mor mentally in the game - that makes a big difference for me

    Good luck ladies!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker
  • MH and I have gone through phases where we don't have sex, and then we will for a while. He told me he just felt weird once he started feeling her moving around. He's gotten past it now, but it was a rough couple months.
                    image
    image
                                     http://www.pinterest.com/kate2904/
  • Well...the last time we had sex was Sept. 29th...a week after I actually got pregnant. It's been a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time for us. He straight out told me that me being prego was a turn off. So...still have to wait till my doc appt on the 20th for the ok. Then I'm gonna have to convince him cuz he probably still thinks it's weird. :/
    Lilybug Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • esalyiesalyi
    5 Love Its
    member

    we haven't had sex since I got pregnant. I'm 30 weeks. I am a bit annoyed, but I'm not too hard up either...I could easily do it and be into it, and just as easily not do it...

    We had a previous miscarriage and had a lot of stress TTC this baby...my DH just got so stressed with the process and the frustrations and the disappointment..and this is his way of dealing with it -- he is scared something is going to happen to the baby..like an O will send me into early labour or something..it started in the first tri because I had to be on pelvic rest for a few weeks because of a SC bleed and that freaked him out even more.

    I have had orgasms since with no problem on my own...no cramping, no weird feelings, so I mean I think its fine for us to have sex, I just don't want to push it because he is so excited about the baby and freaking out that something will happen..so I don't want to add to his stress..

  • Glad I'm not alone here.   We haven't had sex since early February.  We ended up moving cross country, then I got diagnosed with Placenta previa and was on Pelvic Rest for 8 weeks, now, I'm sooooo not sexy and he is terrified he is going to hurt something.  The last time we did it, I had some spotting and I think it freaked him out.  I miss sex, though... a lot.   I can't wait until I have this baby and get hot again. lol...
    imageimage



    My World is Forever Changed



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers





    Follow Me on Pinterest


    My Blog

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards