Why is everyone I know pregnant but me?

tryingtostaypositive

Frustrated!!! Every day I find out of a new person that is pregnant that is either A) much younger than me, on their 2nd or 3rd child or C) got married after me.  I know getting pregnant is not a contest but it's just hard when you have been trying for so many years and still no success yet.  How do you all cope?

firesiren

Ohhhhhh I know.  I feel like I'm really getting picked last in the pregnancy game. 

HawkJr

I feel your pain! Im not coping well at times. The only thing keeping me going right now is hoping this next cycle works. 

lamschmi

I completely agree!  We've been married 3 years, TTC for 18 months and seeing a RE for 7 months.  We skipped the big family reunion this weekend because there was going to be a baby shower for one of my husband's cousins who got married last summer - their baby is due on their first anniversary, which everyone thinks is adorable.  DH comes from a huge family, 40+ first cousins, and I just didn't feel up to explaining what's going on with us to a family that obviously is very fertile.  So instead of the reunion, I go get my hair cut yesterday and my beautician says "by the way, we're pregnant!"  So much for escaping from it all.

 It helps a bit because my sister's been through it.  It happened eventually for her, but that's no consolation that it'll happen for us.  There are only a couple people I've found that I can count on - my mom and my sister.  Most of my friends who are aware of what's going on don't want to hear about it or tell us not to worry, which doesn't really help.  Even DH doesn't really understand why I'm so upset about not being pregnant.  Having a couple of people to vent with has been really helpful for me.

Working out also seems to help take my mind off it a bit.  I'm thinking of training for a sprint triathlon - can't do it for a good while after baby if baby ever happens, so why not start training now, right?

 DH is frustrated by all this but doesn't seem as upset as I am, which is probably good (a dinner out the other day with DH left me in tears because he didn't seem as concerned about infertility as I was).  He's actually making a point of living our lives without focusing too much on baby stuff.  We have a vacation in 2 weeks and I was ready to stay home just in case the timing was right for a procedure at the RE office, but he insisted on going somewhere.  He said that even if we stay home, the timing would probably be off again, and then I'd be grumpy that we had stayed home.  At the very least, we can relax a bit on vacation, and I know I can drink a margarita knowing that there's no baby on board. 

 Best of luck.

glueck

I am coping VERY poorly. I wish there was an answer, but there isn't. Please know that your feelings are not uncommon. We are all suffering here! 

BIG hugs. 

OctoberShamrock

I totally know what you mean. We tried relaxing this weekend by going to the pool but...baby bumps stand out so much more in bathing suits. I counted at least 8 pregnant women. I'm jealous and still feel like we're being cheated out of what was supposed to be the fun part.  I keep trying to tell myself it'll happen soon and all be worth it. In the meantime Tom Petty's "the waiting is the hardest part" is my new theme song. Good luck. 

pbj1975

I'm not dealing well with it, either. I mostly feel sad, but mixed with anger at times. I really don't talk with friends much. I may mention my sadness or vent about a pregnant friend or co-worker, but they don't get it. They don't know what to say. I try to keep busy, but I'm not always successful. And whenever I'm done doing what I'm doing, my mind travels back. The thinking is what gets me. Everyone says, "oh you need to relax. Be positive. Believe it will happen." You try being in my place and see how relaxed you can get. I have times where I'm like "yeah, this is it, it's going to work!" But then the fears roll in, the doubt. I can believe and have faith, but if my embryo didn't stick, it's not because I didn't believe enough or want it bad enough or I didn't have enough positivity. And it just plain stinks. 

butterflybeauty10

I hear ya!  I got married 11 years ago, instantly started TTC & have watched everyone around me have child after child... it's so hard.  I have no idea how I cope.  I can say that for me it hasn't gotten any easier with time.  I wish I had some better advice, but I am right there with you!