Help - non existent sex drive

Jess8589

Ladies, I need some help. Lately I have had absolutely no interest in sex. Like none. After we put C down for bed all I want to do is lay on the couch and veg. It's not an issue of do I love my husband or anything like that. Honestly, if my celebrity crush walked in and was like 'Let's make it happen' i would ask for a raincheck. After we had the baby my drive went down some, but its just been a downword spiral. I can't pinpoint the exact reason why, I think its a lot of little reasons: tired, worked all day, tired, tired...I think I also have a hard time getting into the mind set of 'sex' - I think its easier for guys or something. Any advice anyone can give is great, I feel really bad for my husband I feel like I'm kind of alone here! I am on the NuvaRing now, I was on the pill before and I switched to the Ring to see if that would help any but clearly it hasn't.

BabyBoyNYC

i'm the same way. when i lay down in bed and the lights are off i just want silence and not interact with anyone. BUT and not to be tmi "toys" really help it makes it more fun and more about you

hopecounts

How much time for yourself do you get?

Having my time to not be wife and mom but just me on a regular basis really helps my sex drive and makes the transition to sex easier for me.

Outside of that taking time to feel pretty is big (I take time while DD naps to do hair and make up)

Having hang out time with DH where we just talk and snuggle with no pressure for more is important. As are our dinner dates once a week after DD goes to bed and our monthly date nights.

 Also making the effort usually leads to me getting in the mood, so I make myself initiate some nights even if I'm not in the mood because I know I'll feel it once we start.

imn_angel25

I feel you. I was there a few months ago! I just made the decision to do it whether I felt like it or not. Everyone says sex begets (sp?) sex and it's really true. After I decided to do it, it got easier to be in the mood each time. It also didn't hurt that a month in I started reading 50 shades of gray...that really gets you in the mood. Also, I think just making the effort to touch in a non sexual way is huge.

NewFamily09

I'm the same way.  It sucks.  I feel so bad for DH because I can't even tell him a reason why I feel like this.  I'd like to say that if he did something romantic once in a while it would put me in te mood, but honestly it probably wouldn't.  If I never had sex again, I probably wouldn't care at all. 

bride2be8108

I really do feel you. I was thinking something was wrong with me hormonally but this is what I did that has helped a lot....

- make it a priority to workout/meet up with a friend/take care of myself in whatever way I can daily.  I realize I need to feel girly and not just like a mom 24/7 even if i do my own nails.

- date night (where we leave the house past 7pm!AND I wear heels )

- We took a vacation together (without LO) and focused on us

- "force" myself to initiate and then I am quickly in the mood

- bought a new piece of lingerie ( all my stuff was so old!!)

- tmi but wax regularly down south

- read 50 shades of grey! silly but true..ha

angelame1979

NewFamily09:

I'm the same way.  It sucks.  I feel so bad for DH because I can't even tell him a reason why I feel like this.  I'd like to say that if he did something romantic once in a while it would put me in te mood, but honestly it probably wouldn't.  If I never had sex again, I probably wouldn't care at all. 

 

Ditto to all this!  I think it's been a few months And before that is had been longer.  Maybe I should start reading romance novels. Hmmmm