Pregnant after 35

How many times does your DH go with you to your appointments?

My DH is so wonderful that he wants to go to every doctor visit, but I don't want him to miss so many days of work.  Does your DH go with you all the time? Does he really have to? How do I know which visit is important and which ones he can miss?  

 I really just want him to go to the ultrasound so he can see the pictures, but does the Dr. do an ultrasound every time? Help!

 Thanks in advance...reb562 due January 11th 2013.

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Re: How many times does your DH go with you to your appointments?

  • My DH went with me to the NT scan and will go to the a/s.  All the other appts, I will go to by myself.  This has mostly to do with the fact that DH works nightshift from 11pm to 7am.  My appts are usually mid morning or early afternoon and it would totally screw up his sleep to come.  It is essential that he gets good rest in order to do his job safely.

    Most docs don't to an u/s at every appt.  If you have no history of pg complications or risk factors they may only do one scan at around 20w (anatomy scan).  You may be offered an optional NT scan at between 11 and 13w to check for chromosomal abnormalities, but this scan is not offered to every pg woman.  Some docs will also do a scan at around 6-7w to check for growth and to date the pregnancy.

    Most ob appts are pretty boring in truth.  They weigh you. Do a urine test for protein and sugar.  Take your blood pressure.  After about 10w, they will start to check for a hb with a doppler.  After about 15w week they will start to measure your fundal height (the size of your bump).  They will give you time to answer questions and schedule any upcoming tests (a/s, GTT, etc).  You will see your ob monthly until about 30-32w, then every 2w until about 37-38w and finally weekly until delivery.

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  • My husband is self-employed, so getting time off of work isn't an issue. He's been to every appointment except my 24 week, because we knew there'd be no ultrasound - and I was doing the 1- hour glucose tolerance test.  I don't know if he'll come to the 28 week one or not - since I'm sure it will be equally anti-climactic.  But I have had an ultrasound at every other appointment (at 6, 8, 11, 17, 19, and 23 weeks), and he came to all of those.  
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  • My DH has been to three appointments. The first was to meet our new OB and see the first ultrasound. The second was for the a/s. The last one was to meet our new (we switched) OB before delivery.

    With our DD, he was laid off from work and went to most of the first and second tri appointments at his request. At the end, we both agreed it was not important.

     I don't think he will go to any more appointments.

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  • I have been to the doc 4 times and my husband has went twice.  I don't see the need for him to go to every single visit, especially when I am only in there for 15 minutes.  We have our level II u/s on July 3rd and he is going to that appointment.
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  • Some people's dhs go to most appointments. Mine does not. I brought him to the first one to meet the ob, and I took him to the ultrasound appts which for me was two main ones: the nt scan and the anatomy scan. I later had a growth scan and a fetal echocardiogram, but I did not take dh to those. The main reason for not bringing him is that it is very inconvenient for him to attend with his work schedule and location.

    My ob office does not do ultrasound at every visit. Other practices may do thing differently. 

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  • When pregnant with our first he came to almost all of them.  This time?  I think he came to two!
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  • steverstever
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    DH comes to every appt, but we admit that's excesssive.
  • He didn't come with me for my beta blood draws but was with me for u/s#1 and will be there for u/s#2.  Hopefully we will see a heartbeat. 

    I'm sure he will go to all my RE visits for the u/s but once we graduate to an ob I'm sure he'll only go with me for the important visits. 

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  • hijoihijoi
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    He went with when we knew I was having an ultrasound.  That's about it.
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  • I will only have one u/s at 20 weeks, and that's the only appointment my DH will go to. I think he went to a couple more with our first child, but that was 9 years ago, so I honestly can't remember!
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  • He came with me to every ultrasound at the fertility specialist and the first one with OBGYN with ultrasound.  He will come to the amnio because I can't drive.  We only had him come to the ultrasounds initially in case there was bad news (happened before).  Otherwise, I don't need him to come (and it's a lot of time off for him).  

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  • My DH went with me at the first appt (8wks), the NT scan, my 19wk anatomy scan, and my first appointment with the OB at 24 weeks. (my earlier appointments were with a midwife). He most likely won't go to future appointments unless something comes up. he only went with to meet the OB because we were there to discuss having a vbac vs a repeat csect, and I wanted him to hear everything from the doc's mouth.
  • My DH works out of town, but even if he is in town, he pretty much only goes to the 10/12week appt if he can to hear the first heartbeat. And, also to the a/s. He did not get to go to the NT scan this time, because he was out of town. Most of the appts are pretty boring & just my medical stuff, nothing significant he needs to attend.
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  • He has gone to every appointment with me thru my first pregnancy.... most of them with my second pregnancy (he would have gone to all but my first was to rambunksious for the doctors office)  and now with my third, he is still hoping to go to all of them but he is working as well as in school,, and probably he'll stay home sometimes with the two boys while Im getting my checkups...
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  • MiahTMiahT
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    My DH has come to all of my appointments so far but that's because I don't drive and this is a high risk pregnancy so we're a bit paranoid about getting bad news at one of my appointments still.  Luckily his job rarely has an issue with letting him take a few hours off for my appointments, especially when he's willing to stay late to catch up on things if need be.
  • He has gone to all my monthly and now bi-monthly appointments.  Our baby classes immediately follow the appointments.  Now I'm going for weekly NST and U/S and he hasn't been able to go to all of those.

    My feelings on the matter appear to differ from yours.  I'd be terribly hurt if DH didn't accompany me to my appointments.  Now that I have two appointments every other week I don't mind so much that he can't make it to every NST/US.  I am a bit dissappointed but more understanding than anything.

    FWIW, he hasn't been much involved in shopping for the baby registering, or setting up the nursery aside from hanging curtains and assembing the crib.  So going to the doc appointments is his biggest involvement in the pregnancy.

  • My DH came with me to an early ultrasound, my CVS, and the anatomy ultrasound. Everything else I've gone to on my own and I'm fine with that. I have no desire to have DH take time off from work to watch me pee in a cup, get my blood pressure taken, and have my belly measured...he can save his time off for after the birth, when I'll really need him.  


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  • HE has only been to the first so far with my gp/gyn to make sure it was real. But we live in the bahamas and I have now found an ob in fl and have been to a couple appts alone. He's coming to the next and I'm very excited for him to see the u/s live. 
  • Like most of the others, my FI has only gone to the initial appointment to meet one of the OB's, hear the heartbeat and see the initial dating ultrasound.  He also went to the NT scan appointment and the 20 week ultrasound appointment.  The rest are pretty boring, just pee in a cup, weight and blood pressure.  I'm perfectly fine with him not going to those with me.
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  • My DH went to my first appointment (it was with my RE and we knew we would have an u/s).  He also went to my a/s at 19 weeks.  The only other appointment he went to was my gestational diabetes consultation because he had questions and wanted to know what he could do to help me manage my GD.  I do not get an u/s every time I see my OB (just the dating u/s and the a/s aroudn 20 weeks).  Now that I am high risk and see a MFM for my GD and high BP I get an u/s at every appointment with the MFM to check the baby's growth.

    DH travels alot and has to use vacation/sick time to go to appointments with me so I am fine with him not going to most appointments.  Generally the appoinments are pretty quick and boring anyway.

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  • I'm bringing him for the first ultrasound, and also because he will think of questions that I don't (he's very thorough). After that, I'll probably just bring him for the US that might determine the baby's sex, unless he communicates that he wants to come to more. He's pretty involved, bless him!
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