2nd Trimester

How to talk with hubby about natural birth (Bradley)?

Has anyone stumbled on good articles or other resources comparing various approaches to childbirth?

The more I read about the Bradley method, the more I like it.  But I know my husband needs to be 100 percent on board, too.  When I asked him if he thought I could give birth naturally, his response was - "I think you could, but I don't know why you would."

I am concerned about the drugs they give during delivery, and know there are reasons to avoid them (if you can) - and just thought some of you ladies might know some resources that might help inform my very-rational, by-the-facts hubby.

Thank you, ladies!!

Re: How to talk with hubby about natural birth (Bradley)?

  • GHBEAGHBEA
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    It is your body so I think you have a strong say in how you would like to give birth. 

                                                 Mom to 4 wonderful daughters
                                 Breanna, Ellie and 
                                 our 2 rainbow babies.

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  • image GHBEA:

    It is your body so I think you have a strong say in how you would like to give birth. 

    I mostly agree with this. It's not like you're talking about a decision that will massively impact your husband. Either way, he will (presumably) be on hand when you're in labor to support you. If he's squeamish or nervous, look into having a doula, too, but...  I'm not sure why his support would be a huge deal breaker in this scenario.

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    AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class.  "Sex is between the legs.  Gender is between the ears."
  • Well, especially for Bradley, he needs to be an active participant in the birth process - and he's the type of guy who wants to know what he's doing is the right thing for me and the baby.  I'm quite satisfied with the anecdotes I've read saying how much better natural birth is - but he's more a stastics and raw facts guy :)
  • Show him the research you've done. Also, ask the gals over on Natural Birth - they should have more input. And again, talk to a doula. Even if you don't hire one at the end of the day.
    image
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    AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class.  "Sex is between the legs.  Gender is between the ears."
  • SInce he said he doesn't know why you would, maybe you should start with that.  Explain your reasoning, share articles and reading material, express your interest.  I get the "it is your body" point of view, but I also think it is important to have your partner, best friend, and father of your child on board with your plan of action.  You have a while, just start talking to him about it.  
  • image MandJS:
    image GHBEA:

    It is your body so I think you have a strong say in how you would like to give birth. 

    I mostly agree with this. It's not like you're talking about a decision that will massively impact your husband. Either way, he will (presumably) be on hand when you're in labor to support you. If he's squeamish or nervous, look into having a doula, too, but...  I'm not sure why his support would be a huge deal breaker in this scenario.

     

    My understanding of the Bradley method is that it basically requires husbands to train to be birth coaches, which is certainly more demanding than the alternative.

     OP, my husband is facts-and-science driven too, and I would not want to get into a battle of information/studies with mine if I were totally set on one conclusion. For every study you could find that is pro-natural CB, there is another disagreeing that it's best. Though starting that battle would probably leave you both better-informed! 

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  • image DelBride2012:
    image MandJS:
    image GHBEA:

    It is your body so I think you have a strong say in how you would like to give birth. 

    I mostly agree with this. It's not like you're talking about a decision that will massively impact your husband. Either way, he will (presumably) be on hand when you're in labor to support you. If he's squeamish or nervous, look into having a doula, too, but...  I'm not sure why his support would be a huge deal breaker in this scenario.

     

    My understanding of the Bradley method is that it basically requires husbands to train to be birth coaches, which is certainly more demanding than the alternative.

     OP, my husband is facts-and-science driven too, and I would not want to get into a battle of information/studies with mine if I were totally set on one conclusion. For every study you could find that is pro-natural CB, there is another disagreeing that it's best. Though starting that battle would probably leave you both better-informed! 

    And I would argue that while you do need someone, it need not be the husband.  

    image
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    AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class.  "Sex is between the legs.  Gender is between the ears."
  • Ah okay. I don't know much about it, in fact, I thought that being father-of-baby driven was a defining characteristic
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  • BLuvsEBLuvsE member

    image DelBride2012:
    Ah okay. I don't know much about it, in fact, I thought that being father-of-baby driven was a defining characteristic

    It says in the book that the 'Husband' can be anyone, but then goes on to talk in a later chapter about how the reason the father should be present is that he has a vested interest in the child arriving healthy, the mother probably (hopefully) trusts him and is comfortable with him, and a few other things I don't remember right now.

    So it would seem weird to me to do Bradley with anyone but my husband unless he was out of the picture in which case I would use my mom, a doula, girlfriend, etc.

    image My first little one - a boy born November 27, 2012. EBF - Natural Birth - Cloth Diaper - Dr. Sears' Vax Schedule - CoSleepers - Water Birth
  • BLuvsEBLuvsE member
    OP - Read the Bradley Method Book, Husband Coached Childbirth - It is mostly anecdotal, but the anecdotes are coming from an OB and at the back of the book, there's a chapter called "The Research Catches Up with the Bradley Method" (or something) that gives statistics and cites articles, etc that support different parts of the Bradley Method.
    image My first little one - a boy born November 27, 2012. EBF - Natural Birth - Cloth Diaper - Dr. Sears' Vax Schedule - CoSleepers - Water Birth
  • The two of you could watch the documentaey, "The Business of Being Born". It is available as an instant view on Netflix. It talks a lot about the use (overuse) of cesarean sections in the US and also links the high instance of C-sections to the use of epidurals and the (somewhat common) misconception that unblocked deliveries are the worst thing in the world and no one should ever attempt it! Hope that helps... They do discuss hard numbers in the movie and so you wouldn't have to gather it all yourself. It would be there and be presented in a nice package!
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  • image GHBEA:

     OP, my husband is facts-and-science driven too, and I would not want to get into a battle of information/studies with mine if I were totally set on one conclusion. For every study you could find that is pro-natural CB, there is another disagreeing that it's best. Though starting that battle would probably leave you both better-informed! 

    We did Bradley with our first.  My DH was sort-of into it and is very science/fact driven, but the classes show you lots of sides and are very informative (and great for those dads that like to track contractions and have some control in the process) so it actually helped to just start the classes.  My DH was an advocate and very excited once we were most of the way through the classes.  Don't get me wrong...we still had some odd-balls in our class who didn't care about science, but we also had some very fun, normal couples and became friends with them.

    As for the highlighted sentence above, it's actually more like for every study that shows babies/moms do better without pain meds, there is one that says there is no difference between those who do and don't get the meds.  I've never seen a study that says pain meds and pitocin is "better" just that it sometimes isn't any different.  So with that being said, if the experience of a natural birth is important to you, that isn't a science argument, it's a feeling you might just have to discuss with your DH so he understands your viewpoint. 

    Good luck - I bet he comes around. 

    Two boys already - ages 5 and 3...

    ...baby #3 is here...

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  • The Bradley classes will teach him all the facts! If you are commited to it, just tell him to go with an open mind, and he will learn lots.
  • Check your local library or on Amazon, there are tons of Bradley books to be found. I am going to try and go natural with Bradley as well and my husband just said - whatever you want to do - with the understanding that we will need medical intervention if the baby's life or my life is at risk....just read up, do some reading together and remind him that he needs to be supporting or you could end up killing him *just kidding*
  • image FirstTimeMommy2010:
    The two of you could watch the documentaey, "The Business of Being Born". It is available as an instant view on Netflix. It talks a lot about the use (overuse) of cesarean sections in the US and also links the high instance of C-sections to the use of epidurals and the (somewhat common) misconception that unblocked deliveries are the worst thing in the world and no one should ever attempt it! Hope that helps... They do discuss hard numbers in the movie and so you wouldn't have to gather it all yourself. It would be there and be presented in a nice package!

    This!!

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