TTC After a Loss

Oh, the jealousy...

I'd like to blame my insane emotional reaction last night to the large amounts of wine I consumed, but the reality is that I'm still bummed today and I wish I wasn't.

I basically deduced that a friend is PG last night after she drank only coke, mysteriously didn't have a glass of champagne at her seat during the toast, etc.  I talked with another friend about it and she had noticed the same things.

I think it's hard to find out anyone is PG when you aren't, but this friend actually said that she never wanted to have another kid again after her DS was born a couple of years ago.  Her husband convinced her, I guess, and it happened really quickly for them.  So I'm bitter... and angry... and jealous.  It's not fair that we just passed the one year mark of trying for #2, have gone through two miscarriages, and they had zero plans to have #2 but apparently snapped their fingers and she's PG.

So as we drove home from a very happy, very lovely wedding, I sobbed my face off and DH didn't know what to do with me.  Which makes it even worse, sometimes, when I feel like I'm nuts because he's not as upset as I am.

Ugh.  And I have to have surgery on Wednesday to remove my stupid ovarian cysts.  Kick me while I'm down.  So help me, if my OB tells me that BD is off limits for an extended amount of time post surgery, I may drop kick her.  I'm pretty sure I will O in the next week.  And I REFUSE to let another month go to waste (last month DH was traveling at the key time).

Vent over.  Thanks for letting me get that out. I think I'll have more wine...

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DS born 3/12/09.

BFP #2 - 5/9/11. EDD 1/7/12. MMC 6/6/11. BFP #3 - 1/24/12. EDD 10/6/12. MC 2/14/12.

BFP #4 - 8/30/12. EDD 5/11/13. Our rainbow arrived a month early - 4/11/13. 

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For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him. 1 Samuel 1:27

Re: Oh, the jealousy...

  • kiki4kiki4
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    Sorry you had a rough night last night...((hugs))
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  • Sorry you had a bad night. I know it just makes it harder when DH does not get upset like we feel he should. ((HUGS))
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  • ((Hugs)) to you! It's normal to feel the way you're feeling. I found out yesterday that a friend is expecting, too--and had the ugliest cry I've had in weeks. In January they decided to TTC #2, and she got KTFU in March. I'm so jealous I could puke. :(
    It was a rough road, but Arlo Daniel was born April 1, 2013—and our second rainbow is due October 12, 2014.
  • I'm so sorry you had to go through this. It's so hard when people get KU quickly. It's the worst when it's a "surprise" ugghhh

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  • It does seem like the people who "don't want kids" or the people who fight (and make it public) all the time who have no issues having kids?

    I am sorry that you had a rough time last night.

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  • Oh hon I'm sorry...I can completely understand, I heard about a woman who got KU and wasn't even married the other day and I pretty much lost it...life is so cruel and unfair sometimes.  And I know what you mean about DH's just not knowing what to do with us.

    Cheers to our misery, I'll drink to it with ya.  

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  • I am sorry for the rough night and good luck on the surgery wednesday. I would guess that will make you ovulate late won't it? Every tiny thing throws me way out of wack but maybe you are different, at any rate, hopefully you are able to BD when it is necessary!
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  • I have also discovered friends are pregnant before they announce, and it sucks.  I am sorry.  ((hugs))
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  • (((hugs))) I've been there too. It's not fair!

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  • Sorry for the rough night.  Your feelings of jealousy are totally normal.  ((HUGS)) and good luck on the upcoming surgery.
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  • image dillngr9:

    So as we drove home from a very happy, very lovely wedding, I sobbed my face off and DH didn't know what to do with me.  Which makes it even worse, sometimes, when I feel like I'm nuts because he's not as upset as I am.

     This. Exactly. I feel this exact same way most of the time when I get upset. 

    I just want to give you a huge hug. You're not nuts. They just don't feel it the way we do. 

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  • I know the feeling. I was pretty upset when i found out all 3 of my closest friends were pregnant and i wasnt... I had lost two babies and they all got PG right after I met them... NOT fair. not the case now. but its so hard to be happy for them when you wanted something they now have for so long, and it just fell into their laps.
  • Yeah that sucks hun, I'm sorry it ruined the wedding for you. I personally find jealousy the hardest part of TTCAL Sad. And also DH thinking I'm crazy when I get upset over a pregnancy announcement. I wish I wasn't so emotional and could turn off my feelings. Wouldn't it be nice to have a switch?

    ((Hugs))

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  • You all are so wonderful.  Thank you for reaffirming that I'm not crazy and understanding my feelings.  It's really hard to be at work today now because the friend's husband works with me so when I see him, it's all I can think about.

    I hadn't even processed that surgery ON MY OVARIES could delay ovulating.  I guess that could be a good thing... but hopefully it doesn't throw me too off!

    I decided another perk has to be that removing 17 cm of cyst should help me on the scale a bit, huh?  :)

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    DS born 3/12/09.

    BFP #2 - 5/9/11. EDD 1/7/12. MMC 6/6/11. BFP #3 - 1/24/12. EDD 10/6/12. MC 2/14/12.

    BFP #4 - 8/30/12. EDD 5/11/13. Our rainbow arrived a month early - 4/11/13. 

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    For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him. 1 Samuel 1:27

  • Big (((((HUGS)))))). You're right, it's not easy to hear others are PG when it's what you want so badly. I'm sorry. Sad
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  • That is so hard!

    I mean, I would probably have the same exact reaction as you did.

    You are not nuts!

    Here's hoping that this coming surgery does tip the scale, and even if you have a short pelvic rest, it's a beneficial one!

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  • You hav ALL the right to feel the way you do and no one should tell you to just be happy for someone when it hurts you. People who say that are insensitive and dont know what you have really been through from your point of view. Dont worry, I had an ectopic pregnancy and before that i was TTC for a year... im pregnant again. I honestly thought i couldnt have kids after they removed my left fallopian tube. I was wrong. My secret, weird, but i took regular multivitamins. The one a day ones and magically, it just happened. And I wasnt expecting it. :) I thought id be thrown off too. Dont be discouraged at all. HUGS
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