1st Trimester

Just curious- are you getting the "accident" question...

I'm at the end of the 1st trimester with our 3rd child and we are just starting to tell people as we see them- so only a handful of people so far.  And I'm not sure if its because its our 3rd or not but I'd say out of the 5 people we told 3 asked if it was an accident!  I was just really taken aback by the comment (the answer is no).  I'm not sure if its because its our 3rd- we never had it with either of our first 2 and they're just shy of being "irish twins" (excuse the lack of pc) nor is there a big gap from DC2 to this baby.  Just curious of others experiences...
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Re: Just curious- are you getting the "accident" question...

  • 2u2wow2u2wow
    500 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
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    yikes! that's so rude...throw it back at them "why do you ask??" if they say because you already have 2 so young...say F U hahaha

    i don't know what i'd say...i don't get how some people can be so insensitive!  

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  • I think people just try to create conversation even though its a really horrid way to do it. I would much rather be asked "do you think girl or boy", "do you have names". People are sh!tastic like that. People keep asking Dh and I when we are having kids and I just said last night "Why is there a shortage or something?" It really dumbfounds people and I like that. I would try not to take it personally or make an awesome comeback for people that ask that. 
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  • I'd say most likely it's because the 2nd and 3rd are so close together.

    We are not getting that question because of my loss history, as everyone knows we were trying.


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  • Yup, this is our third too and we've gotten a lot more "was it planned??"  Ummmm, yes it was but it's no business of yours if it was or wasn't.  Why the he!l do people ask such dumb things.....
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  • +easye++easye+
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    This is our first and we've gotten it a few times, and probably will a few more. I think people are just nosey honestly. It doesn't bother me,  and I just tell them "Nope, we'd been trying."  But really, why does it matter, and why can't people mind their own business lol? I guess its just one of many subjects people think its ok to ask pregnant women that they would never ask anyone else!
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  • We got that question with our first because we got pregnant only 7 months after we got married so I guess people assumed we wouldn't want to have kids that quickly??  Regardless of why---rude!
  • Kie310Kie310
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    It's come up with almost everyone we have told so far, "So, was it planned?" is the #1 way it's phrased.
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  • I got that with our first and second. My answer was always "Does it matter?" that usually shut them up. :)
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  • I haven't heard accident but I have heard surprise. And this one is definitely a surprise.
    E&S married since 10-17-09 L 10-27-01 SJ 7-9-11 Surprise baby EDD 1-15-13
  • Kie310Kie310
    Seventh Anniversary
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    My boss was the best:

    Me, "I'm pregnant."

    Him, "Congrats, I hope."

     

     

    Hellow people, my son is going to be THREE when this baby comes, or almost three... that's a good gap!!

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  • With DS I got a lot of "was this planned?" I was shocked too with the question.

    I'm expecting the same when I begin to announce this pregnancy. I love the "does it matter" response. Definitely going to use it!!

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  • We haven't gotten that one yet but we have had a few people that we've told (including my MIL) count out the months from our wedding to our due date. We didn't even concieve on our honeymoon - it was our 2nd cycle. So that itself pisses me off. And assuming that both twins make it to the 2nd tri healthy - we'll be even more side eyed because they tend to come around the 35-37 week mark from what I've read.

    I'm sorry people are asking you that! That's horrible. I'd ask them if they were planned and see if they get the hint to shut up.

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  • Sigh.  People can be so rude and, quite frankly, stupid.  I always answer questions like that the same way...head cocked to the side, quizzical look on my face, and silent for awhile.  Kind of like I'm trying to figure out their question.  Then I say yes and leave it at that.  Usually they start backpedaling and blabbering excuses or whatever.  The appropriate response to someone saying she's pregnant is, "Oh that's wonderful!  Congratulations!"  End of story.  Unless you're close to them, anything else is rude.  (And sometimes even when you're close to them it can be rude.)
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  • i'll be honest, this pregnancy and my dd were not planned. but when i got the accident question i would always say "god knew our plan better than we did." we were engaged and got pregnant with our first and i got soooo many looks. people thought we got married bc i was pregnant, when really we were engaged and lived together first. its your family and your business, this is just the start of the rude comments. im sure you know how nasty ppl can be when they see you actually parent.... "what do you mean you let her eat something that isnt 100? percent natural and organic and served on recycled plates???????"
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  • Nope, we have no children and we've been married 6 years.  People have been patiently waiting.
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  • sesigssesigs member
    People can be so rude! I feel like in our situation everyone will be thinking "accident" but no one has had the balls to say it out loud! Though I will readily admit that we were not TTC and were surprised. We went from planning our wedding (engaged last November) and me applying to graduate school to baby on the way. Crazy times! 
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  • ta78ta78
    250 Answers 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its
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    We've gotten 'was it planned?', but most people thought we were waiting until this summer to start trying, which was our original plan.





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  • Ab42187Ab42187
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    image TheBishTTGP:
    I think people just try to create conversation even though its a really horrid way to do it. I would much rather be asked "do you think girl or boy", "do you have names". People are sh!tastic like that. People keep asking Dh and I when we are having kids and I just said last night "Why is there a shortage or something?" It really dumbfounds people and I like that. I would try not to take it personally or make an awesome comeback for people that ask that. 

    I am glad someone else has gotten this question. We told my best friend and she said that same thing to me. I was dumbfounded and I probably say there for like 10 minutes just looking at her like WTF. I finally told that it was because we wanted to be parents and were ready to add a baby into our lives.

    Other then her I've had nobody ask me. I've had a few friends say they didn't know we were trying and I just told them that we didn't tell anybody. The only people that really knew we were trying was my parents but that is just because I am close with them. My in-laws didn't even know. 

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  • I'm a little more blunt and enjoy giving people a shock when they say stuff like that.  I would have said something to the effect of "well it wasn't like his penis just "accidentally" went off in me without my knowledge." Probably in other words but I would have fun with embarrassing them after their thoughtlessness.  People really get quiet when you do that and they ponder over it for a while until the light clicks on and they realize what an ass they were.  Those kinds of things help people think a little more.  


  • *LrCg**LrCg*
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    image pearlsnow:

    I'm a little more blunt and enjoy giving people a shock when they say stuff like that.  I would have said something to the effect of "well it wasn't like his penis just "accidentally" went off in me without my knowledge." Probably in other words but I would have fun with embarrassing them after their thoughtlessness.  People really get quiet when you do that and they ponder over it for a while until the light clicks on and they realize what an ass they were.  Those kinds of things help people think a little more.  


     LOVE IT!!  I can remember there were a few times we would get the "are you trying for kids" question (before we had kids)- which I just think is way too personal for anyone to ask.  My DH would always respond "we practice all the time"

  • image pearlsnow:

    I'm a little more blunt and enjoy giving people a shock when they say stuff like that.  I would have said something to the effect of "well it wasn't like his penis just "accidentally" went off in me without my knowledge." Probably in other words but I would have fun with embarrassing them after their thoughtlessness.  People really get quiet when you do that and they ponder over it for a while until the light clicks on and they realize what an ass they were.  Those kinds of things help people think a little more.  


    Bwahahaha! love it!

    We have gotten he question and with our situation (which I won't go into here) we are pretty honest... it was a big surprise, but that doesn't mean we aren't less happy about it. Ok, well he wasn't thrilled at first, but he got over that...lol!

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  • I'm sure we will be getting some of the same questions when we start telling people, because DS is only 16 months old. While this pregnancy WAS a surprise, I don't feel like it's anyone's business, really.

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  • I'm on my 5th, so I make sure I tell them up front it was an unplanned (my husband hates the term accident)!!
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  • Dang, I guess I should prepare for those kind of responses when I try for number three. I can't believe how inconsiderate people are these days!

     

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  • I have gotten asked.. and difference in years with DS is going to be almost 4. But I also got asked with my first one; which was also weird; I don't think I'm that young. People can be so nosy.
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  • I never knew how rude people could be until I got pregnant with my 1st.  I'm about 5 weeks along with our 2nd and DD is only 8 1/2 months, so it was a surprise for us (obviously we knew it COULD happen, but we didn't think it would because of our history trying with DD).  I'm not sure how we will handle that question with people because I'm sure it will be asked, but it's really none of people's business.

     

  • I get this all the time, this is our fourth so most people follow it with "really? Wow?" and "You are going to have your hands full?"

     I hate it,  we planned this, we are good parents and yes my hands are full but what mothers arent?

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  • akatingakating member
    My brother asked me that ( he is a little different) and when I said "well not really" he replied "so you guys were just doing it for the heck of it all?" hahaha so inappropriate.
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  • That really is rude!  I haven't told many people yet so no opportunity for the question.  They need to keep that thought in their head!
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  • I got one "Wow, that must have been a surprise!" and I was taken aback.  My answer was "Nope, not at all."  To be fair, it was from an acquaintance who had not exactly been privy to my "we're starting to try" talk.. 
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