Attachment Parenting

Please give me hope--sleep issues

This may be long...sorry!

We've been bedsharing since (almost) day one with DD, who is now 15 months. I work FT and have always loved bedsharing because I felt like it 'recharged' our attachment each night...there's nothing better than snuggling up against a sleeping baby! However...I think we're getting close to the end of bedsharing. It makes me sad, but she's been waking up multiple times, she gets very restless, I'm sleeping terribly and my husband has actually slept in a different room a couple of times now. 

I just got the No Cry Sleep Solution and will start reading that today. She still nurses at least once at night (usually around 3 am). We are moving in 3 weeks and I won't be working right after we move, so I'm going to try to implement the transition then...but I'm also concerned about too many changes all at once (moving to a different house/state, transitioning from daycare all day to being home with me, all new people...). So...how did you transition out of bedsharing? Did it help your LO sleep? Would you transition at the same time as multiple other changes?

It makes me sad to think about her not sleeping with us...I really have loved it and I know she does too...but we all need more sleep! 

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Re: Please give me hope--sleep issues

  • Have you considered side-carring the crib to give her her own space? That seems to work well for some people.

    We do part time crib, part time bedsharing - he starts out on his own, and ends up with me somewhere between 3 and 5 am. We've tried a wide variety of things for sleep, though, some of which are AP and some of which are not. As for the timing, you have to do what it takes to get enough sleep for YOU to function. If that means trying something new at a non-optimal time for DD, so be it. 

  • Thanks--I hadn't really considered side carring the crib. Our bed is currently on the floor and we've dissembled her crib to make it into a toddler bed, so we'd need to do some configuring to make it work...but it might help. We won't be able to do it before our move, but it could be a good option for the new place. At the very least I'd get kicked in the eye less! 
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  • You could just try putting her bed (or a mattress or improvised bed of some sort) beside yours, then, to expand the space and introduce the idea of "your bed" and "my bed".
  • I've been lurking this board since my daughter was born; she is now 15 months, and I just had to reply to your post. Yes, there is hope!!! We were in the exact same spot, including my DH sleeping in another room because he just couldn't sleep with her in bed with us. We tried all kinds of things to improve her sleep, but nothing worked, including No Cry Sleep Solution. Anyway, I hope it does work for you, but if it doesn't, don't be discouraged, there are other ways.

    We ended up using a tweaked version of Dr. Jay Gordon's night weaning (you can google it). So for that week we continued bedsharing, but would not nurse back to sleep. Gradually through out the week, started comforting her less in her wakings, and she learned to self-soothe on her own. Next, I had her sleep in her crib, and I slept on the floor next to her crib, comforting her at all wakings, keeping her in the crib. Yes, she cried a bit, but it wasn't as bad as I thought, and I was there with her the whole time, rubbing her back and singing to her. I knew she didn't feel alone or scared. We did that for a week, and then I started sleeping in my own room again. The first night, she didn't like it, but after that, she started sleeping through the night, and has been ever since. She used to wake up 10 or more times a night. We are ecstatic, haha! Remember you don't have to follow any advice to the T. You know your child best and what she will respond to, and at what age. I felt my DD was ready for what we did at 14 months, but that's just her! 

    Good luck! Hope that encourages you a bit.  

  • A modified sleep lady's sleep shuffle helped me transition DD to her crib for naps. We haven't really done anything about nights but we have been having really rough nights recently as well. We discovered that DD is cutting her molars. I'm hoping it magically gets better after they get in. I noticed your DD is about the same age, not sure if this could be an issue for you too. No advice on the move but good luck.
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