A bit of background: My husband and I are having a home birth with just us, our midwives, and our doula. We're not planning on telling people when I'm in labor (because I'm very private and weird, so the thought that people are waiting for me gives me a lot of anxiety), but we'll announce immediately afterward that the baby has arrived. Also, in order to have private time with our new family, only immediate family will be invited to visit on the first day -- and even then, only for a couple of predetermined "visiting" hours.
After the first few days, should we arrange for people to stay over and help out? My mother is really unreliable so I'm not going to ask her to stay. And, while my MIL is very sweet and very helpful, she tends to be very pushy and bossy. I've experienced this first-hand after my husband had surgery a few years ago. I don't really want either of them to stay over for long periods of time, although I would certainly appreciate them dropping by for a few hours to cook, clean, or hold the baby while I shower.
Is it unreasonable to ask them to just drop in, rather than stay over? What are all of you ladies doing?