Toddlers: 24 Months+

"No, it's mine!"

So...DS #1 has been a great big brother so far, we had almost no upset with the birth of #2 whatsoever, no lashing out at me, DH or the baby, really, I give the kid a lot of credit. Now, however, DS#2 (8 mos) is mobile! Not exactly crawling, but man he can drag himself fast, and what is he most interested in? Whatever his big brother is playing with, naturally. This has wonderfully coincided with DS #1 really grasping that certain things belong to certain people - it's not just this is "mine" but this is mommy's, etc. - but he does NOT like DS#2 messing with what's his. Sometimes DS #1 is happy to give him something else to play with, and sometimes that works, and sometimes it doesn't. Obviously DS #2 is not to be reasoned with at this stage. Obviously siblings are going to have conflicts, but I really want to set the stage now for a good relationship between the two of them and I feel completely at a loss as to how to negotiate this this issue. Anybody got good strategies that are working?

Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers image

Re: "No, it's mine!"

  • It's a tough one, and it continues and changes as they get older. Possessive feelings are natural. Your older child has learned whats what and it is difficult to watch the baby get to do whatever he seemingly wants. For us, we found it helpful to enforce the same rules with both despite the fact that it took #2 a while to figure it out. Teach your son how to appropriately offer toys, and explain his own boundaries to his little brother. We had good success explaining to dd1 that dd2 wanted to play with her and wanted to learn how to play. So we the focused on teaching them to play together. 

    With our girls, if dd1 didn't want to share or play with dd2, she could take what she wanted to her room and play alone. Toys that were inappropriate for #2 were for when she was napping and a special time for #1. The kitchen, living room and playroom are social rooms. For us, if you play in there you are playing with things that are communal. The girls rooms are for their own things. This has worked fairly well.

    For us, grabbing is a no-no. You ask for it back, if that doesn't work mommy will ask on your behalf and enforces the return of debated item. If something is causing a problem, it has a time out.  Of course, we also have multiples of things that we found were problematic, both girls have baby dolls, bottles, strollers, balls, etc. 

    Our girls play well together most of the time, but it was a lot of consistency and reinforcement and modeling of the right way to ask/tell. 

    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickersLilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • image ecoppins:


    With our girls, if dd1 didn't want to share or play with dd2, she could take what she wanted to her room and play alone. Toys that were inappropriate for #2 were for when she was napping and a special time for #1. The kitchen, living room and playroom are social rooms. For us, if you play in there you are playing with things that are communal. The girls rooms are for their own things. This has worked fairly well.


    I love this idea. We're not at the same stage yet, but I know our day will come. 

    image
    Elizabeth 3yrs old Jane 1yr old

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards