December 2012 Moms

SAHD's?

The parternity leave question made think of this. Is anyone's DH already a SAHD or their dh planning on becoming a SAHD once LO arrives?

DH is essentially a SAHD and I think it brings it's own unique issues that are different from SAHM's. On the Aug 2010 board, there is one other bumpie whose Dh is a SAHD and we seem to have similiar vents. It's nice knowing who is in similar situations!

Ivy: July 10  |  Stella: Dec 12

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Re: SAHD's?

  • My DH is not, but my BFF's DH is. She also a December mama, if I can convince her to join us I will put her in touch with you!
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  • My BFF's DH is a SAHD. They have a 2 year old daughter and a 6 month old daughter. It does have its own drawbacks. One thing he doesn't like is all of the "play groups" are geared towards SAHMs. He really doesn't get out of the house much with the girls during the week for that reason. 

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  • FI owns a property management company and takes W with him to work a lot.  We pay for part time daycare, and he only goes on the days that we know FI will be super busy at work with something.  It will probably be similar with the baby.
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  • image mjs_pmk:

    My BFF's DH is a SAHD. They have a 2 year old daughter and a 6 month old daughter. It does have its own drawbacks. One thing he doesn't like is all of the "play groups" are geared towards SAHMs. He really doesn't get out of the house much with the girls during the week for that reason. 

    Dh feels this way as well!

    The other issue that has been hard for us is that determine each of our roles. When I come home from work, he is like the kid is yours which is similiar to a SAHM, mom gives baby to dad, but he still expects me to cook dinner and do the house work. Ha! How am I supposed to cook dinner and watch the baby at the same time and he watches TV. Needless to say we did a lot of babywearing when DD was younger! :) And we have had many discussions about what we can do for each other so we aren't stressed out.

    Ivy: July 10  |  Stella: Dec 12

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  • It is something we are considering.  I carry all the benefits through my employer so if one of us stays home it will be him.  I am thinking it will be more of a part time SAHD situation where he might work nights and weekends for a little bit to SAH with the kiddos. 
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  • No SAHD dad here but I just wanted to say hi from a fellow Aug 2010 mom :)
  • My first and second husband were both SAHD's. It just worked out that I made more money/carried benfits. With my two year old, my husband just started practicing law out of the house when the baby was born. He would work during the day with the baby and meet clients in the evening. It was pretty hit or miss. But we didn't put him in daycare until he was a year and a half. This is the first baby that I actually get to spend a signifigant amount of time at home and not the first year of his/her life busting my ass in an office. Needless to say, I'm really looking forward to it. It was wonderful that it worked out the way it did though. Even though my older son's dad and I divorced, I love that my boys got to spend that special time with their Dad's.
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  • It is possible that my husband will end up staying home with our baby.  He's looking for a job right now but if nothing pans out or his job ends up not being worth the cost in day care, we'll consider it.  He has had a long stretch of un & underemployment and part of me just thinks it would be easier for him to stay home.  But on the other hand, extra income would be great.  We'll see how it plays out.  I will definitely not be staying home as I have the benefits and have a great job that I love.  
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  • image mjs_pmk:

    My BFF's DH is a SAHD. They have a 2 year old daughter and a 6 month old daughter. It does have its own drawbacks. One thing he doesn't like is all of the "play groups" are geared towards SAHMs. He really doesn't get out of the house much with the girls during the week for that reason. 

    My DH is a stay at SAHD and also finds that most playgroups are moms. Now that DD is 2 they venture out a lot more and do fun things together. It is hard but they have met some other mom/dads at parks, mall play centers etc.

    I also get the "your home from work, here's DD, what's for dinner" Say huh? It's been hard to find a balance but it's an on going process. 

  • I know that this is a dated post but my husband is a SAHD and loves it.  For us, it was a win/win decision.  It does have it's challenges but over time we have found a way to make it work, and everyone benefits!  The first few months were a learning process as we found a balance that made it work.  I tell my friends though who ask me about it, that if there is any resentment on either parties, I think it will not work in the long run. 
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