Military Families

Pregnant and DH deployed

Hey ladies! My DH and I found out that we are pregnant about 5 days after he left for a nine month deployment. I'm super excited about being pregnant because we've tried for 7 months, but we're both bummed that he will be missing out on nearly all of the pregnancy. Since it's our first, his CoC has given us a good indication that they will allow him to come home early but I don't trust anything until his feet are on American soil haha! Have any of you ladies been pregnant while your husband is deployed? How did you involve your DH as much as possible? Thanks ladies!
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Re: Pregnant and DH deployed

  • My DH will be deploying very very soon. This is our first baby, I was just switched to high risk, and he won't be back until shes approximately 2 months old. We're lucky shes an over achiever so he got to appreciate milestones like feeling those outside baby kicks! :)

    We had plans for if he was going to be gone for all sorts of things. For the anatomy scan we were going to have the tech write down the gender and put it in an envelope then give a friend money to go pick out a gender specific outfit and mail it to him so he could open the box on skype and we could find out together! :) But he was here so we never had to do that.

    Luckily my hospital has internet in the room and where hes going he'll have internet in his tent so he will be on skype with me while I'm in labor. Other than that I'm buying a nice camera and playing baby paparazzi from the minute she comes out and I promised to upload new pictures of her every day for him because I can't promise she'll be awake when we get to skype. 

    Take lots of pictures of yourself and your growing bump, ask for extra copies of ultrasound pictures to mail to him. Spare no detail about appointments and goings on...even if its just the silliest little craving. When you talk to him talk like hes home with you at the end of a day and you're just catching up. Try not to focus too much on the distance! Good luck to both of you. :) And just remember, being away is hard but it makes being back together that much sweeter, and if he misses baby being born enjoy what I will enjoy. You will be the first person to hand him his baby, not some doctor or nurse you barely know, but you!!

  • my DH is currently deployed and I am 33 weeks pregnant.  We found out in October last year and he left at the beginning of this year for a 10 month deployment.  Its definatly been a challenge to include him in things, but i always make sure when I see the OB to either e mail him if I know it will be several days before I can talk to him or tell him that night if he can call everything the OB said and I send him ultrasound photos and just make sure to keep him up to date on it all and that has seemed to make a huge difference because it really makes him feel included.

    Its definatly a challenge because when we dont feel good they feel helpless because they are deployed, but as you get closer to your due date, you will hear the joy in your husbands voice when you talk about your little one.  Hubby is already so proud of his baby girl even though she isnt even here yet :-)

  • We found out I was pregnant 3 weeks ago, but my BF is deploying soon. He is scheduled to be gone anywhere from 5 to 10 months. The uncertainty of it all is un-nerving, but hopefully he can make it back in the 5 months...fingers crossed! You don't realize how much harder the deployments are until you add kids into the mix. But thank God for Skype and Facebook:)

    *edited by Mod. Please don't post specific weeks/dates when your SO is deploying. 

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Noleinfla, congrats on your pregnancy but I'm sorry about the upcoming deployment. Please edit your post as it is a little specific about when he will be leaving. A simple "he leaves very soon" is all the Internet needs to know. Feel free to stick around, this is a great place for advice and support. Also, you shoul edit te name put f your ticker. 

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    CJ 05/29/2013

  • Thanks ladies! I Skyped with him today and showed him our first ultrasound and he went nuts haha! I missed out recording this appointment because I thought it was going to be quite event-less other than prescribing me some Zofran (aka miracle drug). I'm going to try to always have someone at the appointment with me so I can send a video to him. He wants to post the ultrasound pictures up in his workplace..he's crazy excited lol! I also plan to take weekly pictures of my belly. Even though he sees me all the time on Skype, I think it will be fun for him to have a side-by-side comparison. I'm excited and nervous about the upcoming months, but I know it's in God's hands! Thanks again ladies :)
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  • Thanks for the advice...all still new to me!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I just found out yesterday that I'm PG, and DH left 2 weeks ago....lol, do the math. He was nice enough to leave me with something to remember him by! This isn't our first, but it will still suck to have him miss everything. It's also supposed to be a 9mo deployment. The next time he sees me, our son will be walking and I'll be huge/have a newborn. Keep him in the loop as much as possible. DH was gone a lot to the field when I was PG with DS, and honestly it didn't make much of a difference. I would MUCH rather have him home to help with a baby than home when I'm PG. This way, he also doesn't get to see the crazy side of you- trust me, those hormones mess with your head. Good luck!
    BFP: 10/12/10 (EDD 6/22/10) m/c 10/30/10 @~ 7 weeks, natural

    BFP: 2/5/11 EDD: 10/15/11 DS Born 10/8/11

    BFP: 4/24/12 EDD 12/31/12 DS#2 Born 12/17/12

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  • Howdy! I finally found a board with other moms who are in the same boat as me. I found out I was pregnant March 10th and my DH left for a deployment shortly after that. This has been harder on him than on me because this is his first child and my second. By the time he comes home, our blended family will have grown by 1 and he would have missed the whole entire pregnancy. As for me, it isn't as hard as I thought it would be, but I still would much rather have him here to help. 

    *edited by mod* 

  • Please take the dates of your husband's deployment out of your post. I'm sorry it's been a rough time but like the others have said, take pictures and do whatever you can to make him feel involved.

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    CJ 05/29/2013

  • Actually the only reason why I mentioned his deployment date is because it is public information. It was on the local and national news when his boat left. Seeing that no one here knows which boat my husband is on, it shouldn't matter, but per OPSEC, if it is not mentioned in local or national news then it cannot be mentioned at all. 
  • Because I know what day he deployed, his branch and how long he's estimated to be gone, I could easily find out what ship he's on. Furthermore, those statements from the media have been approved through a public affairs official. Unless you have been authorized by PAO to put dates out for public information, I suggest not doing it. Besides, why would you want to advertise on a public forum that you're home alone?

    ETA - I will also add that sometimes the media gets information in a way it shouldn't. When I was coming home from deployment, someone told their mom our travel info. She called the local media. We ended up getting pushed back two weeks because OPSEC had been violated. It's just better to be safe than sorry.

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    CJ 05/29/2013

  • image saywhut82:
    Actually the only reason why I mentioned his deployment date is because it is public information. It was on the local and national news when his boat left. Seeing that no one here knows which boat my husband is on, it shouldn't matter, but per OPSEC, if it is not mentioned in local or national news then it cannot be mentioned at all. 

    Hi and welcome.  I'm a former service member who just got out a year ago. One of my jobs in my unit was to teach my unit the ins and outs of OPSEC and PERSEC.  Taking all of the information you have given on this board, I can figure out which ship he is on, how long you will be home alone and more.  You are putting yourself in a very dangerous situation.  Please read the what I posted in the post labeled "Camp Pendelton Moms!!"   That is what can happen when we over share just a little bit of information on public boards. 



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    Military Newlyweds FAQ Button
  • I apologize for posting information I assumed was public. Once again, since numerous deployments of numerous ships were in the news for that day I didn't see any harm. No one has my last name, my profile is private, and no one knows where I live. As for being home alone...I am not, but if someone wants to assume I am, that is perfectly fine. We all know what happens when you assume.

    I try to not put myself in dangerous situations...I didn't make it to be as old as I am if I were careless. 

    Once again, the information I posted was posted on a public website with military approval which is why I didn't see any harm in it...BUT I will not post that information again. Can we please stop beating up on a pregnant woman now?  

  • My husband deployed right after we found out I was pregnant. He is missing ds crawl, walk, everything and won't be here when this one is born. it's super hard and emotional. I have a video camera and send as much as I can. I am not telling anyone the sex of the baby until I tell him and they are surprising him on the ship and telling him. 
  • Saywut - no one was beating up on anyone. We're just very cautious because we've seen some crazy stuff go down on TN/TB and in our normal everyday lives. I hope the deployment goes quickly and you have a happy and healthy pregnancy.

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    CJ 05/29/2013

  • I'm pregnant now and hubs just recently deployed... but I'm almost done with this pregnancy. I try to send him updates on how baby is doing and pictures of me with my belly as well as copies of the ultrasound pictures. I got lucky and my doctor let me record the sound of her heartbeat to send hubs while he was away at training. Before each appointment I ask him if there's anything he wants me to ask the doctors and I always send him their responses... I got lucky and he was here for a good portion of my pregnancy but with all the training he did those things made him feel more involved 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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  • First off congrats!! ... My DH got deployed when I was 6 months, it was scary and the pregnancy hormones made it worse!! but the DH and I skypes and talked every chance we got, he got to see ultrasounds, we even found out the gender together (thank god for skype mobile!!), being able to share special moments with him over video made him being way so much easier. My DH and I didnt know if he would be able to come home early to be there for our LO's birth but luckily he was aloud to come home (which was a surprise to me, they sent him home a few days before my due date and by the time the DH made it home I was in the hospital, he made it just in time to meet our daughter!) 

     

    I hope you and your DH can enjoy the pregnancy together even if your not in the same place.  

    lakens mommy Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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