3rd Trimester

DH vent- is this fight worthy?

DH's brother mentioned that he could get Yankee tickets from his job, so DH told him to get some.  He got them on my due date.  I know you don't usually have the baby on your due date, but it just seem like a day you'd keep clear.  I'm upset BIL didn't bother to ask for a different date, he has 2 kids so it's not like he's oblivious, but I'm even more upset DH doesn't see a problem with this.  He says if I'm having the baby he won't go.  It just seems really inconsiderate on both their parts.  WDYT?
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Re: DH vent- is this fight worthy?

  • No way in hell. I get that you don't normally go on your due date, but to get tickets and go to a ball game that day just seems absurd... I'd kill my DH if he even tried to pull something like that, and I'm usually really lenient!
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  • I'm on your DH's side.  I don't think its worth a fight.  It's not like he's said he'll go regardless of whether or not your in labor and I'm assuming its not a far drive so I'm not sure why its a big deal?
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  • I would definitely be annoyed at the situation, but at least your DH won't go if you are having the baby.  Not sure how far you are from NYC - we are about an hour away.. I would probably tell him that its too far, but I had DD REALLY quickly the first time, and would be nervous he wouldnt make it back..
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  • Are you getting one of the tickets too? If so, I don't see a major problem with this.  He realizes he may not get to go to the game if you are in labor that day, and it doesn't sound like he's really that upset about missing the game. I don't see the point of either of you sitting around on your due date just waiting for labor to start, when it could happen up to 2 weeks late. Go, enjoy the game, and distract yourself from waiting to have a baby.

     If the tickets are just for your DH and not for you, then it's a little more iffy.  If you want to go and are going to be stuck at home, I'd be annoyed.  If you don't care about going, it depends on how long it would take your H to get home from the ballpark if you went into labor while he was gone. 

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  • Maybe the minority, but wouldn't bother me.  If I am having or have just had the baby he doesn't go.  If I am home and miserable because my due date is here and I am still pregnant, go to the game.  Seems a little odd that they would pick that date, but nothing I would ever consider fighting over.
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  • No way! That is rude. I would talk to DH about being uncomfortable about it and if he wouldn't bend I would probably fight him about it. It's kind of a special day and he wants to go to a ball game? Fail DH.
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  • image morethancottoncandy:
    I'm on your DH's side.  I don't think its worth a fight.  It's not like he's said he'll go regardless of whether or not your in labor and I'm assuming its not a far drive so I'm not sure why its a big deal?

    I'd have to agree with this. Pick and choose your battles. He won't go if you're in labor or if the baby is here. I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose. Maybe that's all they were able to get?

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  • Honestly, who cares?  You will either have gone into labor by then (he cancels) or you won't have had the baby yet.  If you haven't gone into labor by then, let him go unless the stadium is more than an hour away.  Make sure he has a charged phone.  Call him if you have any contractions and make him come home...I honestly don't see that it's that big of a deal. 

    Any day between 36 weeks and 42 weeks, you could easily have the baby. Any day between 39 and 41 weeks is just as likely as your actual due date.

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  • 1) it depends on who they're playing.  if it's the red sox, no way in heck!!! the traffic that day would be unbearable.

    I guess that's the only reason that it would freak me out letting him go.  The roads get so crammed they practically shut down around the games.  I'd be worried I'd go into labor and he wouldn't be around to help me. 

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  • I don't think it's worth a fight.  My due date has already come and gone, and I'd still be fine to attend a game myself.  As long as DH knows he has to cancel any plans the second I go into labor or the second I tell him to, the only kind of plans I don't want him making are out-of-town travel plans.  

    If you're still upset, rather than fight over something slightly thoughtless that your BIL did, demand your husband bake you a cake or take you out to dinner or something to appease you.

  • image Sherbet Lemon:

    Are you getting one of the tickets too? If so, I don't see a major problem with this.  He realizes he may not get to go to the game if you are in labor that day, and it doesn't sound like he's really that upset about missing the game. I don't see the point of either of you sitting around on your due date just waiting for labor to start, when it could happen up to 2 weeks late. Go, enjoy the game, and distract yourself from waiting to have a baby.

     If the tickets are just for your DH and not for you, then it's a little more iffy.  If you want to go and are going to be stuck at home, I'd be annoyed.  If you don't care about going, it depends on how long it would take your H to get home from the ballpark if you went into labor while he was gone. 

     

    This.  Its really NBD.

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  • I don't think it's fight worthy, but I'm of the mindset "choose your battles". I'm willing to bet your BIL didn't realize that it was your due date. Just because he has 2 kids doesn't mean he keeps up with his SIL's due date. Half the time my DH can't remember my due date (he knows mid-May), so I definitely wouldn't expect my BIL to. Also, your DH has said if the baby comes on that date then he wouldn't go.
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  • I'm on your husband's side as well. I just don't see the big deal with him going if you aren't in labor- you could easily go into labor a week before through a week after, so it seems silly to save that date. I'd only be miffed if there was a scheduled c-section or induction, because, obviously, you'd be having the baby that day.

    First, labors can take hours and hours, so even if you happened to go into labor while your husband is at the game, he'd certainly have time to make it home.

    I think that you are being a bit unreasonable. 

  • I'm in the NBD camp.

    I've worked at a number of places that have access to sports tickets, and it's usually rare that you get to pick specific dates.  You get what you get, smile, and say thank you sort of thing, KWIM?

    If you're in labor, your DH has already said he won't go, so no big deal.  If you've just had the baby, I'm sure he'll skip the game.  And if you're still pregnant, why not let him enjoy the game, so long as he's a reasonable (under 90 mins) distance away? 


  • honestly i wouldnt stress it. i think u will look like an ass if you dont have the baby that day after you made a big deal. but i do see my youd be pissed, and dont blame you. 

    in pregnancy i just tell my fiance to do what he wants to do. at this point im not interested in chasing him or expecting him to be with me all the time. i have bigger things to worry about and at the end of the day he will lose if he chooses not to be with us. 

  • I would be upset too. It's the principle of the fact. And honestly, a lot of these ladies must not go to MLB games, haha.... traffic is awful and even if it's only 45 min away, it could take him triple the time to get to you. I also agree with the PP who made the Red Sox comment, if that's who they're playing then noooo wayyyy. 

    I agree that it doesn't make sense waiting around to go into labor but still, I think it's a respect thing on the part of a male partner to be there during this time. My fianc?  would never even ask.... Even if the Red Sox were playing the Yankees.

  • I wouldn't fight about it, but DH and I are on the same page as far as not going anywhere far from 37 wks on. He has such horrible luck, we're both pretty confident that Murphy's law would cause him to miss the birth, or me to deliver in the car or something. Probably by kid 2 we'll both chill out. 

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  • Dh has no plans to be away from me for the next 2 weeks. But, that being said....I think if he has agreed to not go if you are in labor then why not let him get out for one last day of fun before baby gets here. If you are showing any signs of labor then ask him to stay home? 
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  • image morethancottoncandy:
    I'm on your DH's side.  I don't think its worth a fight.  It's not like he's said he'll go regardless of whether or not your in labor and I'm assuming its not a far drive so I'm not sure why its a big deal?

    I agree. If the chances are slim you'll have LO on your EDD (which they are), then why treat that day any differently? Assuming he's not driving far and wont go if you're in labor, then let him go and have fun and maybe plan something fun for you to do too. 

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  • I don't know if this is fight worthy but I would point out the fact that it is my due date and therefore could go into labor at any time. I would want to keep my DH close... I know he wants to stay close. He may not realize.

  • image theresat858:

    Honestly, who cares?  You will either have gone into labor by then (he cancels) or you won't have had the baby yet.  If you haven't gone into labor by then, let him go unless the stadium is more than an hour away.  Make sure he has a charged phone.  Call him if you have any contractions and make him come home...I honestly don't see that it's that big of a deal. 

    Any day between 36 weeks and 42 weeks, you could easily have the baby. Any day between 39 and 41 weeks is just as likely as your actual due date.

     

    I agree with this. I think this is a really stupid thing to pick a fight about. 

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  • I would not be upset by BIL, I mean how does he not know that you OK'd it, or that it is any of his business to suggest otherwise!

    As for DH I would simply say no. My DH has already stopped booking anything within a week on either side of my due date.  

  • More than likely this baby will be late - if he can squeeze this in beforehand I say let him. It is not like your are having the baby and he is insisting on going anyway and deserting you in the hospital.
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  • image lada85:

    image morethancottoncandy:
    I'm on your DH's side.  I don't think its worth a fight.  It's not like he's said he'll go regardless of whether or not your in labor and I'm assuming its not a far drive so I'm not sure why its a big deal?

    I'd have to agree with this. Pick and choose your battles. He won't go if you're in labor or if the baby is here. I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose. Maybe that's all they were able to get?

    I agree with this. The exception would be if it were a long road trip. If it's not, then I don't see a problem -- a due date is just another day unless, of course, you are having the baby, or just had the baby. If it were my husband, I would say go but have a game plan (ha, no pun intended) as to how you can contact him and feel reassured he will be there for you if you need him.

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  • Personally, I'd murder both of them, but that's just me. :)
  • Personally, I wouldn't care about the game. Everything changes after the baby comes, no need to start living like hermits BEFORE baby gets there. Even if you go into labor, you are likely looking a HOURS of early labor before you even head to the hospital. He'd have plenty of time to get back.

    Plan something fun for yourself that night...girls movie night, or whatever. Now if DH wanted to go to the game while I was in labor, or with a newborn...no way.

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  • Does no one else see the issue with her going into labor while he's at the game?  Have none of you tried to leave a game before?  IT'S CRAZY HECTIC!!  She could have the baby before he gets home!  

    Personally I think it's a moronic idea and I'd be PISSED! 

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  • I'd be a little annoyed but that's it. DH had plans all through the month I was due and everyone knew that there was a chance that he might not be there. If he went somewhere, he took his own car so he could leave whenever, he didn't drink for the same reason(he's not a big drinker but still), and he kept his phone on him and kept in contact with me. You might already have the baby by that day.

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  • image mlebates:

    Does no one else see the issue with her going into labor while he's at the game?  Have none of you tried to leave a game before?  IT'S CRAZY HECTIC!!  She could have the baby before he gets home!  

    Personally I think it's a moronic idea and I'd be PISSED! 

    I've been to plenty of games... it's only hectic if you try to leave at the same time as everyone else... it really isn't that hard (at least at the stadiums I've been to).  

    And the average labor for a FTM is 10-12 hours.  I doubt anyone would go to a game if it took that long to get home from it.

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  • Uh...yeah. I wouldn't plan anything on or even close to my due date. Not only for the sole fact that's when baby is estimated to be here, but also because if I were still pregnant, something like that wouldn't be any fun. 

    I'm with you...I'd be pissed. 

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