Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Hysterical whenever put down - help please!

Since birth he screams when he's put down. My 2.5 yo DD was nothing like this - you could put her down any time, anywhere. I wear him etc but I can't wear him 24/7! And he doesn't just cry, he WAILS. Like red in the face and stops breathing. The Dr. said he's a "high maint kid" and that is does meet the def of colic (although he usually stops crying once he's picked up). He's only 5 weeks old so I know he's still very young but please give me hope he will grow out of this?!? and any ideas to help? 
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Re: Hysterical whenever put down - help please!

  • I know this won't be easy, but you might just have to put him down, and let him cry for a minute while you get things done. (shower, etc) 

    Have you tried putting him in a swing or bouncer? Does he scream in his car seat? If not, I wouldn't hesitate to sit him in one of these for a few. Does he like to be swaddled? It might make him feel more secure being laid down. Other than that, just know it'll get better eventually. Good luck mama!

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  • My son was the same way. He had horrible gas problems and later on we found out that he was very sensitive to all stimuli (sounds, lights, textures, etc). Here are some tips: If he is formula fed, try switching his formula to a sensitive brand or soy, and try a different bottle that is made to reduce colic. If you are nursing, make sure you aren't eating/drinking anything that can cause gas. Burp him more often (we burped our son every 1/2 oz). Buy one of those angled cushion things for the crib to prop him up at an angle or try letting him sleep in his car seat or bouncer. Other things that help are tummy massages (check youtube for tutorials) and sometimes even a nice warm bath before bedtime can help him sleep. Oh, and you may even want to try some white noise (fan, tv, etc) and make sure he isn't in any clothing that is itchy or too hot. My son loved light cotton. Lastly, try swaddling! Swaddle blankets are the best! :)

    I'm sorry if I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but this is all the advice I can think of right now. The good news is that they usually grow out of this within a few weeks, so hang in there mama!!!
  • If he's awake and not being held then he's screaming. So I can transfer him to a swing/bouncer once he's asleep in my arms but then as soon as he wakes up and realizes he's not being held, all hell breaks loose! I do have to let him just cry sometimes - easier now that I'm used to it after 5 weeks. So he screamed this morning while I showered. I picked him up, comforted him, he stopped, then screamed when I put him down and got dressed. I'm also sad b/c it's like I never see him with his eyes open NOT crying :(
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  • DD was the same way, as much as I wanted more kids I was DREADING the newborn stage. Luckily DS is not at all like she was. We did a lot of swaddling and bouncing and she was constantly in the Moby, it was the only way she would sleep during the day. I showered and cooked (what little I did) when DH got home because I couldn't stand listening to her cry so much. It took about a month before she slept in the bassinet overnight, 4 before she stopped crying in the car. I forget when the evening screaming (witching hour) ended, maybe 8 weeks? She never liked the infant seat, car seat, stroller or swing, I think she was 9 months when she finally went in the stroller or shopping cart without tears. My best advice is a lot of baby wearing, which you already said you're doing, and a lot of patience. It does get better and my daughter is a joy now! Some day it will be a distant memory.
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  • Have you tried a carrier? I ran into the same problem with mine, and my arms were just about shot. I borrowed a mei tai from a local babywearing group, and in 4 days it's changed our lives. She feels close to me, and I have free arms. It's not an all the time solution (obv. can't take her in the shower with me) but it saves us both a lot of crying.
  • I am a FTM so don't have a ton of advice, but I am right there with you! Consider yourself lucky that your LO is OK being held, sometimes that doesn't work for us either. I will say that she already seems to be getting a little better. Provided that I put her down somewhere when she is fed and happy, I can now usually get 10-15 minutes before she cries. So, I think with time, it will slowly improve. I will second the PPs who say to use a carrier. I would die without my Moby. She fusses for a bit when I put her in put then she sacks out cold (often for 2-3 hours). 



  • I'm sorry that you're experiencing this.  I'm going through the same thing with DD and she's 3 weeks old.  She is absolutely miserable unless she is held, she hates the bouncer, her car seat, the Moby wrap anything that doesn't involve being carried in my or DH's arms. Yesterday, she screamed on and off for nearly 4 hours because I had to make dinner, give my son a bath, and wash dishes.  It's totally the shrieking cry like she's in pain.  And we constantly burp her without any luck. She also has gas (she's been tooting up a storm since day 3)--I'm breastfeeding her and also supplementing with forumula.  Our pediatrician has had us try 2 different formulas while I try to build up my supply of breastmilk.  My son was the complete opposite and was content wherever you placed him. I'm also looking at other's replies to see if I can find a solution for my child too. 
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  • Same here! DD hates being anywhere other than our arms... I basically baby wear her constantly. Hhe'll be happy in her bouncy seat for maybe 15 mins if the vibrator's on. So far 2 things have worked to get her to sleep long stretches away from me:

    1) Nursing her to sleep in my bed in the side laying position, then sneaking away once she's in a deep sleep.

    2) Carrying her in the Ergo with the infant insert, waiting for her to be deeply asleep, then tranferring her still wrapped in the insert into the bassinet. Then I put one of my dirty shirts by her face so she smells me. She slept for 3 hrs like this today - it was AMAZING! haha

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  • Try showering only at night when your husband is home and can hold him.  Make microwave or non cook lunches so you can cook and eat while wearing him.  you can even wear him while going to the bathroom.  Mine was like that too.  She grew out of it around six or seven weeks.  
  • This was my Dd1. She never napped and had to be held and walked around/in motion literally every second or else she would scream. She was either screaming, nursing, or being held and moved - she had no other states. But she HATED the carseat and swing - it had to be someone's arms. It wasnt gas or her diet, as best we could figure. A baby carrier did actually help, though. No one could ever tell us what was wrong or how to fix it. It was hell honestly. Around 4-5 months she finally grew out of it - it was about when she started crawling and could be entertained/occupied. She didn't start napping until well after she turned one though, but at least she stopped screaming all day.

    I was prepared for the worst with Dd2 but she is totally different - she never cries unless she is hungry, wants attention or is trying to fall asleep. She naps during the day and most of the time she's awake she's cooing and quietly looking around. So now I know that it wasn't us or something we were doing wrong - it was just the way she was. Small comfort, I know, but I know how easy it is to blame yourself and get frustrated.

    I wish I had some better advice but it will get better and it's not your fault.
  • DS is the same way! Like joyfully above posted, we are slowly trying to figure out ways to put him down, even if for short periods of time. I recently started doing the side lying nursing position and sneaking away as well! I do have to nurse him for MUCH longer than usual to get him to sleep, but it's heavenly to be independent for awhile while he naps on his own. I haven't tried the ergo trick yet, DS is a super light sleeper so I'm not sure I could get the insert out of the carrier without waking him but it's worth a try.

    The other thing I do is put him on a pillow while I nurse him on the couch and let him fall asleep on it, then gently slide the pillow off my lap and on to the couch so that he is wedged between the pillow and the back of the couch with his face turned upward. That way he's still feeling like he's being held. I just have to constantly check him to make sure he doesn't turn his face in to the couch.

    Another thing we used to do (that doesn't work too well anymore for us) is lay him in the center of a pillow and bring the sides up to sort of squeeze him and then set the pillow with him in it in the rock n play. It's a pretty perfect fit so that the pillow still squeezes him and he feels secure, but again, we have to constantly be near him but at least we can put him down.

    We've discovered he HATES being on his back, so the carseat is hell and forget any bouncer, vibrating seat, swing, etc. He doesn't even like being held on his back and screams bloody murder during diaper changes. We are considering trying a sleep positioner in the PNP but from what I read even those aren't safe so I don't know...

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