Babies: 9 - 12 Months

oh, but this crying it out thing....

We have been "crying it out" the past week or so..and this is how it goes: she screams for about 30 minutes, go check on her, she crapped everywhere(this is literally every night), give her a bath, change sheets, put her back in bed, scream for about a hour, and then stops! go check on her and she is sitting straight up sleeping and bobbing back and forth.Try to lay her down and it wakes her up! And it starts all over again! HELP!

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Re: oh, but this crying it out thing....

  • Ferber says if it doesn't work in the first 7 days, to stop and wait a few weeks before trying again.  Sounds like LO isn't ready.  Are you using Ferber or full extinction method?  I would read Ferber and use a modified wait time (2,3,5 minutes).  That said, it didn't work for us and we are still bedsharing.

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  • I agree with PP. If its not getting better at all after a week, I give it up and try again in a week or 2. CIO was easy for us, but maybe try one of the other methods of sleep training if LO isn't responding to CIO after a second try in a couple weeks. 
  • Well whats been happening is we end up putting her in our bed eventually, cause she sleeps in our room, so when she wakes up with us in there, its kind of hard to stick it out! I really think the noise has alot to do with it too. Our noise maching broke and she hasn't slept in her bed since! I need to make the splurge and get another one.

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  • Ferber worked wonders with DD, it's been a complete failure with DS. Give it a break, and try again in a few weeks. If it still doesn't work try something else. 
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  • So, wait. You put her in her crib and leave her for 30 straight minutes? Have you read any sleep training books? I would recommend picking up a book, be it Ferber or something else, and starting over after you have a grasp on how sleep training works. 

    CIO doesn't literally mean put them in the crib and leave them to cry until they crap themselves. 

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  • image SarahL77:

    So, wait. You put her in her crib and leave her for 30 straight minutes? Have you read any sleep training books? I would recommend picking up a book, be it Ferber or something else, and starting over after you have a grasp on how sleep training works. 

    CIO doesn't literally mean put them in the crib and leave them to cry until they crap themselves. 

     

    This. If you MUST do CIO, only wait 5 minutes max before checking on the LO, not a half an hour..that is WAY too long for him/her to be crying..

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  • Ditto previous posters... check on her before 30 minutes.  Also, if you eventually put her in your bed, you're only teaching her that she just has to cry longer to get what she wants. 

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  • image pinkram:

    Ditto previous posters... check on her before 30 minutes.  Also, if you eventually put her in your bed, you're only teaching her that she just has to cry longer to get what she wants. 

    This. If you aren't comfortable being consistent with CIO, pick a different method.  

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  • image SarahL77:

    So, wait. You put her in her crib and leave her for 30 straight minutes? Have you read any sleep training books? I would recommend picking up a book, be it Ferber or something else, and starting over after you have a grasp on how sleep training works. 

    CIO doesn't literally mean put them in the crib and leave them to cry until they crap themselves. 

    That is not true. Babies this age are plenty old enough for full extinction CIO. OP, I'd stick with it. She's crying so long because you keep giving in.
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  • image Dreamsicle23:
    image SarahL77:

    So, wait. You put her in her crib and leave her for 30 straight minutes? Have you read any sleep training books? I would recommend picking up a book, be it Ferber or something else, and starting over after you have a grasp on how sleep training works. 

    CIO doesn't literally mean put them in the crib and leave them to cry until they crap themselves. 

    That is not true. Babies this age are plenty old enough for full extinction CIO. OP, I'd stick with it. She's crying so long because you keep giving in.
    I agree with this. Ferber did not work for DS1, but the extinction method did (read Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child book). But, for DS2, Ferber worked much better for him. Regardless of what method you use, the most important thing is to be consistent with it. Try reading one of the books, I found that understanding a child's sleep needs really helped me stick with it. Good luck. 
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  • image Dreamsicle23:
    image SarahL77:

    So, wait. You put her in her crib and leave her for 30 straight minutes? Have you read any sleep training books? I would recommend picking up a book, be it Ferber or something else, and starting over after you have a grasp on how sleep training works. 

    CIO doesn't literally mean put them in the crib and leave them to cry until they crap themselves. 

    That is not true. Babies this age are plenty old enough for full extinction CIO. OP, I'd stick with it. She's crying so long because you keep giving in.

     

    Yeah, I'd like to see you sleep after screaming so long and hard that you poop your pants.

    Sounds like CIO isn't right for your LO. You should definitely try going in to calm your little one before 30 minutes. That would be a pretty sh*tty way to have to fall asleep, and if you can't be consistent, then it is absolutely not going to work.

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  • My method with my son is and has always been to stay in the room with him until he calms down. He doesn't get out of bed (unless something is actually wrong), but I stay with him while he cries. Can I ask why you're using this particular method? Are you desperate? Have you tried a bunch of other stuff and it hasn't worked? Is it the only way you've heard to encourage a baby to sleep on their own? It honestly sounds like it's not working for your baby. (And you might need to go up a size in diapers... at least for at night. :))
  • I don't have the heart for CIO! If you want to try something else, we had great luck with the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. My DD is only 4 months old, but she puts herself to sleep and sleeps through the night and has been doing it for the last month. I liked this book because she had so many different things to try depending on your LO. 
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  • CIO worked great for us, but we has  very consistent routine. DS was always awake for several hours before betime to insure that he was tired, then he was nursed, burped, changed, and cuddled for a few minutes. I always made sure that to the best of my knowledge, his needs were met and he was sleepy before i laid him down. At first, he cried for a few minutes and sometimes a little longer, but once he realized i wasnt coming, he went to sleep. it works better if you arent in the same room.
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