Baby Showers

Quick Advice... Take it or leave it.

My baby shower was scheduled for my 37th week of pregnancy. If you have any say at all, DO NOT let this happen. Aside from the obvious issue of possibly missing your own shower due to early delivery, here are some other problems with such a late date:

1. You are pooped. The shower was on Saturday and I basically slept all weekend and am still recovering on Tuesday. It was a great time but seriously too much for me just now, not to mention the 6 hours of car time to get there and back.

2. You end up waiting a really long time to do your own shopping. I'm now wiped out with only 3 weeks left to go and rushing around trying to buy, wash and organize the remaining registry items. It would have been so nice to have this all done by now. This also meant I had to put the nesting on hold, which was SOOOOOOOOOOO hard to do. Every time I bought anything I got a lecture about how I should wait until after the shower and I just wanted to be done and ready.

3. This is the time you want to be stocking up on rest more than anything else. I think that shower took the last of my energy and I'll end up spending the next few weeks sleeping as much as possible.

 Anyway, it was a lovely shower, and thrown by my SO's family so I didn't want to be rude and turn it down. However, if I were to do it again, I would have made it more clear that I wasn't willing to travel so late in my pregnancy. If you have any input on your shower date at all, try to have it before week 35 and try to be closer to home, and if possible not in your own home (we had one of those too and we're still cleaning up). 

Re: Quick Advice... Take it or leave it.

  • Wow, thanks for the advice! My best friend is throwing my shower and we're going to start talking about dates etc in the next week. I'll definitely bear that in mind!

    Glad to hear you enjoyed your shower, though, and I hope you're not too overwhelmed getting the last-minute things done!

  • Thanks for posting this!  I just asked off for the day after my shower, which is on a Sunday :)  I figure I'll be pooped and too anxious to go through my goodies and organize!
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  • Eh, I don't think it's that dramatic.

    Mine was at 35 weeks exactly. But it could have been later and I would have been fine. I never got that overly exhausted thing. I never waddled either, thank gawd.

    H and I bought what we needed on our schedule. We weren't depending on the shower for our baby stuff. My shower ended up being a blanket/clothing fest (and most of the clothes were larger sizes that could just be set aside) so its a good thing we weren't depending on it. Since we already had everything we needed, I was able to take my time going through the shower stuff.

    I sat on my butt during the shower. My mom didn't have any games planned for the adults and if I started to get up, people yelled at me to sit down and they brought me what I wanted. The kids brought me presents to open and waited by to collect the paper and stack the presents, so I didn't have to do much there either. Yeah, I got up to pee a few times. That's it. I got more rest at my shower than I would have if I was at home.

     

    Statistically, the majority of first time moms deliver after 41 weeks. It's not likely that you'll miss your shower.

    I went a week early (so 4 weeks after my shower) and I still had everything ready in time. I fell, which broke my water and I had to be induced. I didn't just spontaneously go into labor early.

  • image rohanite:
    image srs5624:

    Some parents really are relying on their showers for necessities, and if we are given the privilege of a shower we will definitely be waiting to see how many necessities we get and won't have to buy, since just "buying everything ourselves" would be a much larger financial strain for us than it would be for some couples.

    Good luck with this comment once the calvary gets ahold of it.

    FYI. H and I both work for not-for-profits. We are in no way rolling in money. We made sure to wait until we were able to support our child on our own rather than relying on others to do it for us.

    And like I pointed out, there is a very real possibility that you won't get "necessities" at your shower. It is very likely that you'll get a bunch of blankets and wrong size/season clothes (like the Christmas outfit in NB size that I got for my child due in March). Very few people shop from the registry. You make a registry for your own reference and for the completion coupon, not because people you know will buy everything from it for you.

    Check the past posts. This board is full of "OMG no one bought anything from my registry and now we have to buy everything ourselves" rants.

  • image rohanite:

    image srs5624:

    Good luck with this comment once the calvary gets ahold of it.

    FYI. H and I both work for not-for-profits. We are in no way rolling in money. We made sure to wait until we were able to support our child on our own rather than relying on others to do it for us.

    And like I pointed out, there is a very real possibility that you won't get "necessities" at your shower. It is very likely that you'll get a bunch of blankets and wrong size/season clothes (like the Christmas outfit in NB size that I got for my child due in March). Very few people shop from the registry. You make a registry for your own reference and for the completion coupon, not because people you know will buy everything from it for you.

    Check the past posts. This board is full of "OMG no one bought anything from my registry and now we have to buy everything ourselves" rants.

    Saying that we may partially rely on a shower does not mean we can't afford a child.  For us it just means that everything people give us is one less thing we have to buy.  I'm not going to be ranting about what I don't get, it's just that having a shower will be nice in that for us it might mean getting a bunch of things new rather than second-hand, and that doesn't make us bad parents if we do have to buy the extra things second-hand.  I can definitely see the wisdom of having an earlier shower (if offered) so that you'll have more time to buy the things you do need, even if they are just clothes and blankets.

    Wise grasshopper for clarifying.

    Your original wording made it sound like you need the shower to provide for your child because you couldn't afford it otherwise.

    We see them on here. At least weekly. Sometimes daily.

  • I was going to post something but I couldn't keep the snark out of it so I'm just going to keep my mouth shut. 

    The only thing I'm going to say is that I had my shower at 37.5 weeks, and it was fine.  I bought what I wanted when I wanted it because it was my responsibility to purchase things for my child.  Anything I received at my showers was just bonus.

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  • image srs5624:
    image rohanite:
    image srs5624:

    Some parents really are relying on their showers for necessities, and if we are given the privilege of a shower we will definitely be waiting to see how many necessities we get and won't have to buy, since just "buying everything ourselves" would be a much larger financial strain for us than it would be for some couples.

    Good luck with this comment once the calvary gets ahold of it.

    FYI. H and I both work for not-for-profits. We are in no way rolling in money. We made sure to wait until we were able to support our child on our own rather than relying on others to do it for us.

    And like I pointed out, there is a very real possibility that you won't get "necessities" at your shower. It is very likely that you'll get a bunch of blankets and wrong size/season clothes (like the Christmas outfit in NB size that I got for my child due in March). Very few people shop from the registry. You make a registry for your own reference and for the completion coupon, not because people you know will buy everything from it for you.

    Check the past posts. This board is full of "OMG no one bought anything from my registry and now we have to buy everything ourselves" rants.

    This X 100!

    I had two showers and at both the majority of things I received were clothes, blankets (10 blankets at a shower w/ 9 guests) and a few toys.  I only received a few "necessitites" and they came from one of my aunts.

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  • Sorry to be snarky, but, um, duh?  Isn't that why it is usually suggested to have showers between 28-34 weeks? 

    Mine is at 34 weeks and it is late for my taste, but I'm dealing with it by (*gasp*) buying the things I need for the first month of the babies life, and leaving optional items or things for later for the registry (2nd carseat base for DH's car; high chair; books; fancy stroller; extra blankets/burp clothes, etc)...babies don't really need that much when they first come home, and if you can't afford to purchase those items yourself, you really should have thought of that before having a child (most things can be bought 2nd hand for relatively cheap on craigslist). 

    And yeah, you shouldn't rely on a shower to provide for your child...

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  • image rohanite:

    That's great that everything was all fine and dandy for you, but OP raises valid concerns.  Some parents really are relying on their showers for necessities,  (Problem #1, buy your own stuff for your baby) and if we are given the privilege of a shower we will definitely be waiting to see how many necessities we get and won't have to buy, since just "buying everything ourselves" would be a much larger financial strain for us than it would be for some couples. (Problem #2, People on budgets have babies every day and provide for themselves.  If you can't afford your own wipe warmer, you probably should be re-evaluating your budget or looking into assistance programs)

    A friend of ours just gave birth 6 weeks early and missed her shower - while unlikely, it's still a valid concern.  (Problem #3, if you have a baby that pre-term, missing your oh-so-important-baby-shower is going to seem incredibly trivial.  People don't need a party to buy you presents and will likely still drop said presents off.  You will survive without playing the "don't say the word baby" game, I promise). I'm sure it's hard to really gauge how you're going to be feeling the further you get into your pregnancy - some may have plenty of energy, while others may be on bed rest and have none.  Traveling is a big thing too - I'm dreading my hour-long commute once I get into the 3rd trimester, so I can see how driving for several hours to and from a shower will be exhausting! (Problem #3, You won't know until you get there and you can go on bedrest or be miserable at any point in your pregnancy, not just the third trimester)

    Thanks for the advice, and I would hope that if concerns like these are graciously brought up with the party planners, they will take them into consideration especially if they've given birth before!

    .

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  • My shower was at 36 weeks and I was huge and sweaty, but had a great time. We still had over 4 weeks to put everything away, and go out and buy loose ends. We already had all our big stuff done, since that wasn't anyone else's responsibility.
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  • image mabenner1:
    My shower was at 36 weeks and I was huge and sweaty, but had a great time. We still had over 4 weeks to put everything away, and go out and buy loose ends. We already had all our big stuff done, since that wasn't anyone else's responsibility.

    Same here.  I wasn't any more tired (actually less) then I was working a full 8 hours at my JOB.  I worked Friday and my DD was born on Saturday.  I'm amazed at how "tired, exhausted, uncomfortable" women are nowadays.  Seriously...wait until you have a 2nd or 3rd, etc. and see what tired really feels like.

    As for getting things ready...it took me about 2-3 days MAX after the shower to purchase things I still needed (bought a lot before the shower) and also to wash newborn clothes and put them in drawers.  How hard is it really? 

    I think 34 weeks is perfect timing...but 36, 37, or even 38 weeks is not a big deal.  My last shower was when I was 38 weeks and I felt fine.  My DD was born on her due date...but even my DS that was born early was only 2 weeks early, but labor started along the same time as a kidney stone (which could have happened at any trimester).

  • I love how grand and important baby showers make moms-to-be feel.

    It's a frickin' shower.  It's not the end all, be all of existence.  If you want to avoid the problems of going into labor, etc, you should probably wait until after the baby is born.  Complications can happen at any time.  Go ahead and get the things you will definitely need for your baby and keep the receipts.  Then if you are lucky enough to get the same thing at your shower, take yours back.  But aside from diapers, a carseat, a place for the baby to sleep, and a few onesies, there's nothing you MUST have.  (Well, something to eat, but even if you're using formula, you can't stock up on it early, so it's a moot point in the argument). 

    And what's with all the shopping and preparations that you need to make between the shower and delivery?  One trip to BRU and a couple of loads of laundry?  Why does that take 6 weeks to do?  You guys are totally overthinking this whole baby thing.  And that's why this board has the dynamic it does...you have first time moms freaking out over trivial things like a baby showers and then you have women who have already been through it telling you to chill...it's JUST a shower.  Sheesh.

  • KarmBKarmB
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    im having mine at 27 weeks because I am already having a hard time getting around, We dont know if im going on bedrest or not, and Im too anal about not having thigns done lol. I'd like to see what we get and anything we dont get off of the registry, we'll need to get and i want to do that while im still mobile.

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  • image Cranang:

    I love how grand and important baby showers make moms-to-be feel.

    It's a frickin' shower.  It's not the end all, be all of existence.  If you want to avoid the problems of going into labor, etc, you should probably wait until after the baby is born.  Complications can happen at any time.  Go ahead and get the things you will definitely need for your baby and keep the receipts.  Then if you are lucky enough to get the same thing at your shower, take yours back.  But aside from diapers, a carseat, a place for the baby to sleep, and a few onesies, there's nothing you MUST have.  (Well, something to eat, but even if you're using formula, you can't stock up on it early, so it's a moot point in the argument). 

    And what's with all the shopping and preparations that you need to make between the shower and delivery?  One trip to BRU and a couple of loads of laundry?  Why does that take 6 weeks to do?  You guys are totally overthinking this whole baby thing.  And that's why this board has the dynamic it does...you have first time moms freaking out over trivial things like a baby showers and then you have women who have already been through it telling you to chill...it's JUST a shower.  Sheesh.

    Yes

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  • image Cranang:

    I love how grand and important baby showers make moms-to-be feel.

    It's a frickin' shower.  It's not the end all, be all of existence.  If you want to avoid the problems of going into labor, etc, you should probably wait until after the baby is born.  Complications can happen at any time.  Go ahead and get the things you will definitely need for your baby and keep the receipts.  Then if you are lucky enough to get the same thing at your shower, take yours back.  But aside from diapers, a carseat, a place for the baby to sleep, and a few onesies, there's nothing you MUST have.  (Well, something to eat, but even if you're using formula, you can't stock up on it early, so it's a moot point in the argument). 

    And what's with all the shopping and preparations that you need to make between the shower and delivery?  One trip to BRU and a couple of loads of laundry?  Why does that take 6 weeks to do?  You guys are totally overthinking this whole baby thing.  And that's why this board has the dynamic it does...you have first time moms freaking out over trivial things like a baby showers and then you have women who have already been through it telling you to chill...it's JUST a shower.  Sheesh.

    Yes

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  • Had my shower at 38weeks, yes i was big, but i had a great day! Be thankful that people want to celebrate you and your new little one.
  • image Cranang:

    I love how grand and important baby showers make moms-to-be feel.

    It's a frickin' shower.  It's not the end all, be all of existence.  If you want to avoid the problems of going into labor, etc, you should probably wait until after the baby is born.  Complications can happen at any time.  Go ahead and get the things you will definitely need for your baby and keep the receipts.  Then if you are lucky enough to get the same thing at your shower, take yours back.  But aside from diapers, a carseat, a place for the baby to sleep, and a few onesies, there's nothing you MUST have.  (Well, something to eat, but even if you're using formula, you can't stock up on it early, so it's a moot point in the argument). 

    And what's with all the shopping and preparations that you need to make between the shower and delivery?  One trip to BRU and a couple of loads of laundry?  Why does that take 6 weeks to do?  You guys are totally overthinking this whole baby thing.  And that's why this board has the dynamic it does...you have first time moms freaking out over trivial things like a baby showers and then you have women who have already been through it telling you to chill...it's JUST a shower.  Sheesh.

    Applause.

    And even if, heaven forbid, the mom-to-be goes on bed rest (which, btw, very few people actually end up on bed rest. I know of one person IRL who was put on bed rest.  The Bump is not a good sample population), why can't her husband return the items and pick up whatever is left?  Or ever hear of online shopping?  

    I had my baby shower during my last pregnancy a month before I was due. I was big, yes, but I was fine.  I am at the same point now in this pregnancy.  Yeah, I'm uncomfortable, but that wouldn't stop me from going to a shower. I'm still working, still taking care of my toddler, etc.   Life doesn't/can't stop because you are pregnant.  Even if I was uber-uncomfortable, if so many of my loved ones are willing to come together to a shower for me, my butt will make it there somehow.

    Being pregnant does not mean that you are totally disabled, even in the last several weeks. (Yes, I realize that your doctor may say that you are for purposes of taking you off work, but face it- you can still do stuff.)

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  • chill out with the snobfest, woman. this is my first time on a forum... are they all like this? can't we all just get along :P
  • image nicoleabele:
    chill out with the snobfest, woman. this is my first time on a forum... are they all like this? can't we all just get along :P

    Are you here to save us from ourselves?

    Please, find another board if you think this is a "snobfest".  Don't post crap like this until you get a feel for the board.  It's nothing we haven't heard before from the thousands who have come and gone because of their thin skins. 

  • image nicoleabele:
    chill out with the snobfest, woman. this is my first time on a forum... are they all like this? can't we all just get along :P

    Noob fail.

    For future reference, lurk for awhile... then post.

  • I had my shower at 34 weeks, and that was perfect for me. I was still exhausted, but I had a great time. I have been working on finishing everything up this week, because I want to be done so I can spend the last couple weeks resting. We were fortunate and got every single big item from our registry. We have had to spend less than $50 on our baby so far. I don't think it is wrong to hope for those big items at the shower, because that is money you could put into savings if possible.
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  • image DinabethL:
    I had my shower at 34 weeks, and that was perfect for me. I was still exhausted, but I had a great time. I have been working on finishing everything up this week, because I want to be done so I can spend the last couple weeks resting. We were fortunate and got every single big item from our registry. We have had to spend less than $50 on our baby so far. I don't think it is wrong to hope for those big items at the shower, because that is money you could put into savings if possible.

    Hoping for it is one thing.  RELYING on it is another.  Like I said, buy your stuff and keep the receipts...then if you get something, take yours back.  But it's rare for someone to only have to spend $50 before a baby gets here.  I got a TON of big ticket items...swing, car seat, stroller, playpen, play gym, crib, dresser, changing table.  But there was still money to spend, and if I hadn't gotten most of those items very early and not at the shower (out of town relatives went ahead and bought things for us), I would've already purchased some of them by the time the shower came around.

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