I haven't posted in a long time but just need to vent and see others opinions on this or their own similar situations. I have recently had respect issues with my husband's dad and his wife as grandparents to our daughter. They are of the mentality that "because they are grandparents they can do whatever they want" with our daughter. And with that they feel they can buy her whatever they want without discussing it with my husband and I. What are your feelings?
I have tried to avoid conflict up until today when I put my foot down and hurt some feelings. There have been things here and there that have really irked me but I have just let go. For Christmas they bought my 18 month old a full size keyboard. I thought it was inappropriate. 1. She doesn't know how to use a keyboard she's just banging on an expensive electronic. 2. I was afraid that she would pull it over on top of herself. 3. We have nowhere to put it in our small home. But whatever.
Today we met at a park to go see my husband march in a parade. They had been talking about getting my daughter, now 21 months a duckling. My husband and I were united in declining bringing any new pets into our home. A pet would be a family decision and my daughter wasn't even old enough to understand the meaning of getting a new pet and the responsibility that comes with it. In addition we have a dog and two cats already. They posted a comment about how much my daughter would love a bunny on my facebook this morning. I had my husband call them because I just had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that they were going to buy her one. He told them she could not have one at our house. If they wanted to get one to keep at their house that would be fine. When my daughter and I got to the park they pull out a baby bunny and tell her it is hers to take home. I was furious. My husband and I had on multiple occasions said no just to the idea. I refused to put it in my car and take it home. They were so upset with me and his step mom yelled at me for never allowing them to buy her anything and that as her granparents they could buy her whatever they wanted and didn't need our permission.
Isn't a pet something they should talk with a child's parent about? And if the parents say no then it's a no. There is no clause that says grandparents can do whatever they want. I think it is so disrespectful and it caused a huge blow up between his parents and I today. My husband feels caught in the middle. He doesn't want to hurt their feelings so he thinks we should just keep the bunny. I am holding my ground because I see this as a pattern of not thinking about the appropriateness of gifts with them. They want to be able to the grandparents that out-do everyone else and buy her the biggest best gifts. And a parent should have a say in large or not everyday gifts from grandparents as to whether they are welcome gifts or not. A bunny for her is an added responsibility and expense for us.
Has anyone had a similar situation with setting boundaries with parents? I don't want to hurt them either but I will not be bullied into keeping an animal we do not want in our home. We do not have the time to care for another animal. Am I being unreasonable? Hubby and I were on the same "side" but after talking to his dad he feels bad for hurting his feelings. I'm sorry about his feelings but I just think it is so wrong to buy a 1 year old a pet without asking the parents! She will not be caring for it-we will and we should have a say!