Preemies

My OB suggested a tubal?!

I got an IUD after DD was born but I've had horrible problems with it since and they did an ultrasound only to find it wasn't all the way in my uterus the way it should be and a big ovarian cyst. So, I had it taken out last Friday. She asked me "So, you're not ready for permanent sterilization yet, are you?" I said "No...I mean, I'm only 25." She said "Oh, I thought you weren't going to have any more since Reagan was so premature"  She went on to to tell me the statistics of having pre-eclampsia again like I don't know. It really offended me. I'm already going to find a new OB anyway but I WORK with this one. (I work in an OB/GYN office) I would think she would be a little more sensitive. Yes, I know that I will most likely have another preemie due to pre-eclampsia if DH and I decide to have another baby but I think it's OUR decision to make. 25 is not an age to make PERMANENT decisions. Am I being to sensitive about this? It really bothered me. I know it's her job to counsel me but come on. Have any of your OB's suggested you not get pregnant again?

 

Hospitalized at 28 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia. Reagan Michelle was born on 4/24 at 29 weeks, 1 day gestation 2 pounds, 11 ounces 15 inches long.
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Re: My OB suggested a tubal?!

  • Wow, that is incredibly callous and appalling. Definitely find a new OB. I agree, this is YOUR decision to make and no doctor should try to convince you otherwise. If you didn't work in the office, I would have definitely said something.
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  • My OB recommended that I do not get pregnant again. She did go over those options with me, and also the possibility of a vasectomy for my DH. My OB worded everything much more gently though, and gave me options of what they would do for me if I were to get pregnant again too.
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  • Obviously each person's situation is slightly different with pre-e.  I had my son at 26w 4d and we're just about to begin our first IUI cycle for baby #2.  I consulted my original OB, the OB who delivered my son, my MFM practice and another MFM practice and also our RE.  Everyone said the same thing.  There are risks, here are the risks.  We will follow you closely.  You can do this.

    I highly suggest getting a second opinion from another OB at least and I'd suggest reviewing your case with an MFM to get their opinion. 

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    Our TTC Journey
    May 2007 - Off BCP
    Summer 2009 - Dx mostly unexplained IF, slight DOR
    IUI #1 - Feb 2010 = BFP; Missed M/C resulted in D&C (3/31)
    IUI #2 - June 2010 = BFP; Dx Severe Pre-Eclampsia 12/7, placed on hospital bedrest
    Kevin Patrick arrived 12/14/10 at 26w 4d gestation; Home on 4/21/11 after a 128 day NICU stay
  • How insensitive!  I agree that it's completely up to you and YH. 

    I like the idea of getting a new OB and ask for a referral to a MFM.  Hopefully they can come up with a plan to make your next pregnancy a better experience.  IF that's what you decide you want Wink 

  • My OB only told me that if my H and I decided to have another one that it might be premature as well. She never said we should not have any more. Just let me know the risks and all. I am sorry you had to go through that.Sad I agree you should consult another OB.
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  • image kaylaaimee:
    My OB recommended that I do not get pregnant again. She did go over those options with me, and also the possibility of a vasectomy for my DH. My OB worded everything much more gently though, and gave me options of what they would do for me if I were to get pregnant again too.

    This is pretty much what I had with my OB, who happens to be female.  The High Risk male doctor, however, was telling me how I could have no. 3 with a cerclage sooner in the pregnancy next time.  My mind was made up about no more kids after no. 2.   I agree that this is a personal and emotional choice for each of us, not the providers, to make.

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  • My OB recomended not getting pregnant for at least 2 years and we have talked about risk factors, preventative measures, and the likelihood of another preemie. But nothing as blunt as "you shouldn't get pregant again."

    I second everyone else--find a new OB and get a reference for an MFM who specializes in pre-e so you have all the information you need to make the best decision for your family. Its your decision, not your doctor's. 

     

  • I would be pissed. Even if that's her recommendation, that's an awful way to go about presenting it...
  • image kaylaaimee:
    My OB recommended that I do not get pregnant again. She did go over those options with me, and also the possibility of a vasectomy for my DH. My OB worded everything much more gently though, and gave me options of what they would do for me if I were to get pregnant again too.

    Am I the only one whose doctor isn't worried about them being pg again?  When we talked about it he just said we would either do a TAC or TVC and he expected a good outcome regardless of which one I choose.  Maybe I should worry that he isn't worried!?   

  • I hear you.....I am also 25, and LO was early.  He was born at 33wks and 5 days.  There was no pre-e that we know of.  My water just broke that morning and he was born later that day.  No idea why, other than my white count was rather high.  At my 6 week appointment the OB did bring up me having more children and said that next time they would need to watch me more closely.  Thus implying that I would be able to have more kids and it wouldn't be too big a deal.  That said, they also have many higher risk patients (my pregnancy had been textbook until my water broke that morning).  

    I would look for another OB.  Mine is rather risk adverse, apparently I can't have the pill anymore due to a blood clot in my eye a few years ago, but that is another story.  Yet she said that having another baby was totally possible and that they would just have to watch me more closely.  Personally, being the same age as you are, I would feel uncomfortable with making such a life altering choice at this time and am rather appalled that your ob suggested it.  Good luck :) 

  • I would definitely get another opinion.

    My DD was born at 28.5 weeks weighing 2 lbs (IUGR) due to severe and sudden pre-e & HELLP syndrome.  I am currently pregnant with #2 & am 34 weeks along tomorrow and have had perfect blood pressures this time around, no swelling, no protein (obviously these things can change quickly but this pregnancy has been 100% different from my pregnancy with stella).  my OB is confident I will make it full term this time around & never suggested I not have another baby.  every pregnancy is different.  the risks are definitely there but you have to be willing to accept the possibility of another preemie before moving forward & hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised.

  • She was definitely crass with her wording, but I don't think she's out of line with her thought process.  Counseling you and going over every possible scenario to help you come to a decision is fine, but it was unprofessional of her to word it that way and act condescending.

    FWIW, my OBs and peri went over all scenarios with me.  I know if we were ever to try again, I would be monitored even more closely than I was the last time (I have a family of pre-e to begin with, and me having it only increase the risk that much more), but we know that's a risk we don't want to take.  That, and we don't want to gamble with possibly having another baby with CF, especially since we still don't know what mutation I'm carrying.  I know my body can't handle another pregnancy, so we're going to do something permanent once my H is ready to get the vasectomy.  Anyway, my point I'm trying to get at is I'm 28, so not much older than you, and I think it's plenty fine to make permanent decisions at 25, 28, whenever - you know yourself best, you know?

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  • image jacque_z:

    image kaylaaimee:
    My OB recommended that I do not get pregnant again. She did go over those options with me, and also the possibility of a vasectomy for my DH. My OB worded everything much more gently though, and gave me options of what they would do for me if I were to get pregnant again too.

    Am I the only one whose doctor isn't worried about them being pg again?  When we talked about it he just said we would either do a TAC or TVC and he expected a good outcome regardless of which one I choose.  Maybe I should worry that he isn't worried!?   

    I don't think so- every scenario is different. For me, they said if I DID choose to get pregnant again they would do everything they could to keep me pregnant - full bedrest, cerclage, the works but they thought I'd deliver before 30 weeks regardless. And their recommendation given my complications too, was not to get pregnant again. So I think it really depends on each individual circumstance b/c there are so many factors at play.

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  • Thanks guys. I understand where she was coming from as well but she also knows ME and knows that I know the risks and it's a really sensitive subject for me. I still feel so cheated. (as I'm sure all of you do too) and I also feel like it's a little selfish of me to want to carry another baby. I also wonder if I want to carry another one even more to see if I can carry to term. I never wanted an only child but I also don't want a child without a mother. I'm definitely going to see a high risk OB if DH and I ever decide that may be what we want to do. My mother had pre-e as well with 2 of her pregnancies. The first one was a placental abruption and was a still born. Then me, who was premature and 3lbs 5oz. She got pregnant 2 MONTHS after I was born with my sister, who was born full term and 8lbs. So, you never know I guess.

    It sucks that we're a big "guessing game". People just don't realize how blessed they are to have healthy, full term babies.

    Hospitalized at 28 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia. Reagan Michelle was born on 4/24 at 29 weeks, 1 day gestation 2 pounds, 11 ounces 15 inches long.
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  • Could it be the money for the procedure why the OB is suggesting a tubal, especially such a young age? I had DS when I was 36 yrs old--my pregnancy was text book until I pProm at exactly 31 weeks. He held out for one week and came at 32 wks. After having my son my OB told me I would likely have another preemie if I try again as well as I would have to have another CS. That is when I told him I was considering a tubal, he told me that I was "only" 36 yrs old with only one child he would not advise it.

  • I think I would have been offended too! I had pre-e with my first child and didn't have it with my others. (knock on wood) I am pregnant with twins now so I don't want to jinx myself! My son was a preemie because I have an incompetent cervix .. my water broke too soon. After him I did suffer two second trimester losses one at 24 weeks and one at 20 weeks .. and even after all that my OB never suggested a permanent fix! In fact I have the same OB now and with this pregnancy he seems confident that a cervical cerclage will do the trick and my babies will be fine .. so here's hoping! 

    I think I would find a new doc too!  

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