2nd Trimester

There has to be SOMETHING I can do!?

Okay, so my libido is ZERO since I've been expecting (to be fair, it wasn't as if I could exactly match DH's appetite before, but this is ridiculous!) I mean even if I TRY I can't get in the mood!

It isn't so much about body image issues, or fear or anything, there is just no physical reaction what-so-ever. Not to mention the few times that we have done the deed the cramps afterward are unbearable, which I think contributes to my hesitation.

Please tell me I'm not the only one? And that there is hope that one day I'll have sex again? LOL. This is depressing!

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Re: There has to be SOMETHING I can do!?

  • I haven't wanted to do a single thing! It is around the same reason you don't want to it seems. I just CAN'T get in the mood whatever we try. When we do try its unconformable and just not fun right now. I feel bad but what can I do I try to always give it a try once a week because we used to be crazy! ahaha 
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  • You are not the only one. The thought of sex turns me off. I was never like this before!!! It is very depressing.
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  • Mine's perked up again recently, but for the longest time I couldn't stomach the thought because my nausea has been constant since I got pregnant. DH's approach to seduction is to (read on if you're not squeamish!) grab the back of my head and smile, which doesn't exactly help!

    Maybe try something or somewhere new. Make like a couple of college kids and go for a drive somewhere secluded. The back of a movie theatre. A tent in the back yard. A fitting room.

    Sometimes when I'm really not feeling it but DH is, I manage to put myself in the mood by becoming a sex goddess. Without wanting to be too graphic, I do one or two certain 'tricks' that I know drive him crazy and suddenly I feel it too.

  • During my first pregnancy I was EXACTLY the same way. It didn't matter where we were or what was on his mind to do, I just had no interest in sex. I would do it out of pity but I rarely enjoyed it because I just couldn't get turned on. After Sophia was born, it all came back, and now that I'm pregnant again, my libido has diminished again. It's not as bad this time but I still just am not that into it. It upsets my DH because we generally do not lack in the sex department, but oh well. He knows when baby is out, everything will go back to normal.
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  • Don't worry... it's not just you! I've been a total lame-butt since getting pregnant. I feel for poor DH but I think he realizes that I'm just too tired and not feeling well. I feel really bad for him but he hasn't complained. However, I haven't informed him that we'll probably have to wait at least 6 weeks post-pregnancy. Poor thing probably thinks we can jump right in right away. You'll get your groove back =) Don't stress it!
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  • I also have ZERO interest in sex. And its not cause I'm preggo, I just have NO desire. I think there's hope...I hope there's hope- lol.  

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  • Me too...its just not there...

    (TMI WARNING) Poor DH..his approach is wait til I get out of the shower and try and jump me..needless to say it fails..even if I do give in its such lame sex it kills my drive even more and just depresses him. 

    Its not like I have lack of energy or am feeling sick anymore..I just don't even know what to say when he asks..I think he thinks its his fault..

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  • DH and I DTD at least once a week whether I'm into it or not. As long as it doesn't hurt physically I have no issue putting on the act to make my husband feel loved and wanted during this time of transition (which I am sure is just as scary for him as it is for me).
  • I feel the same way.. I just cant get in the mood..at ..all!  I feel so bad for DH, he could have it everyday and I give in about once a wk (maybeEmbarrassed)
  • image allisonmarie22:
    DH and I DTD at least once a week whether I'm into it or not. As long as it doesn't hurt physically I have no issue putting on the act to make my husband feel loved and wanted during this time of transition (which I am sure is just as scary for him as it is for me).

    Ditto this. For the most part, I always want it more than DH because by the time we are able to relax at night, he is ridiculously exhausted, so sometimes I know I just have to do all the work if I want some lovin ;) Throughout the pregnancy, I have had some off weeks where I just wasn't horny at all, but I still went with the flow because he's my husband and I love him and it's important to me that he still feels that.

  • I'm not sure..my libido has also been zero.  Sometimes I can get in the mood first thing in the morning on Saturday, but not every week.  That's the only time we've had sex in a few months, and it was never a usual time for us before (we're generally more evening people).

    In any case, you're not alone!

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  • image nellrose:

    Me too...its just not there...

    (TMI WARNING) Poor DH..his approach is wait til I get out of the shower and try and jump me..needless to say it fails..even if I do give in its such lame sex it kills my drive even more and just depresses him. 

    Its not like I have lack of energy or am feeling sick anymore..I just don't even know what to say when he asks..I think he thinks its his fault..

    LOL, this would just piss me off.

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  • image pinkpepsi:
    You are not the only one. The thought of sex turns me off. I was never like this before!!! It is very depressing.

     

    I agree with this! I just don't want to.....and I was ALWAYS the frisky, aggressive one. Hubby is understanding about it though - and he seems maybe to be relaxing about wanting it too as he isn't trying either...I don't want to lose that connection though so I hope it comes back strong - even if it's after baby, after some time!

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  • It's up and down for me.. I was having really bad cramps afterwards (to the point of throwing up), but someone told me that sperm can be volatile to the cervix and cause severe cramping when you're pregnant, so we started using condoms... and voila! it's no longer severe, i'll get a twinge or two, but compared to what it was i'll take it.

    I will say that when I am in the mood, it takes longer for DH to get me hot and bothered, maybe you can try talking to your hubby and seeing if he can slow it down?

    I'm only 20 weeks and we had an incident with him on top where he put his weight on me, sorry if it's tmi, but it killed my bump! (I'm only telling you this so you can be careful!) I had major cramping for a couple of days afterward and it killed my insides... I told DH that I know how those keychains that you squeeze and stuff comes out of their butt feels!

    Good luck!

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  • Bring a vibrator to bed. Get some ky for her simulating gel.

    GL 

  • Sex for me hurts to the point that I feel like every time is my first time.... I think it is because I am the Sahara down below these days, and no amount of warming up seems to help.  Plus, we do it so infrequently that DH doesn't, ahem, have the stamina that he used to, so basically as soon as it starts to feel like something for me, he is done.  Then he feels bad, and I just feel relieved that I don't have to worry about it for a while.  And then my insides throb and I am sore for days.  So no, you are not alone. 
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  • image nellrose:

    Me too...its just not there...

    (TMI WARNING) Poor DH..his approach is wait til I get out of the shower and try and jump me..needless to say it fails..even if I do give in its such lame sex it kills my drive even more and just depresses him. 

    Its not like I have lack of energy or am feeling sick anymore..I just don't even know what to say when he asks..I think he thinks its his fault..

     

    EXACTLY! I feel so bad, but the more he tries, the less I want it....I feel HORRIBLY guilty lol, but it just isn't fun and exciting right now.

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  • image justforbaby626:

    Bring a vibrator to bed. Get some ky for her simulating gel.

    GL 

     

    Bahahaha, quick and to the  point, eh?

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  • image Davesgrl2011:
    Sex for me hurts to the point that I feel like every time is my first time.... I think it is because I am the Sahara down below these days, and no amount of warming up seems to help.  Plus, we do it so infrequently that DH doesn't, ahem, have the stamina that he used to, so basically as soon as it starts to feel like something for me, he is done.  Then he feels bad, and I just feel relieved that I don't have to worry about it for a while.  And then my insides throb and I am sore for days.  So no, you are not alone. 

    Ahh, we have the opposite problem. He lasts so long I can't stand it! I might be more inclined to just "take one for the team" and give it up for the sake of making him happy if only I knew it wouldn't take FOREVER!

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  • I don't want to have sex, mainly because I'm so lazy right now!  Last night, however, our daughter had a sleep over at a friend's and I ended up starting up the action! 

    What kind of cramps?  Like body cramps?  Maybe you need to find a good position.  A lot of the time I'm not really into it and going along for his sake.  But I usually end up enjoying myself in the process.  

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  • Not body cramps. Almost like monthly cramps... I always got them after orgasm before pregnancy, they're just SO much worse now. It SUCKS!
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