March 2012 Moms

DH, sex, hurt feelings, VENT

So last night DH and I were planning to "do it". I really wanted to but my body had different plans, I had the worst bubble of gas in my chest and I coudln't stop burbing....How attractive right! Well we were starting to mess around and I had to sit up because I just didn't feel very good and I said "this sucks I'm so gassy!" his response was "ohhh k and flinged the blankets over himself with a nice little eye roll included." Well that immediatly made me feel SO horrible about myself, I started bawling and laid down with my back facing him, at first he thought I was just being grumpy and then he noticed I was bawling...I couldn't control it and I'm still getting teary thinking about how it made me feel. I mean im 36 weeks pregnant I don't feel at all sexy I'm trying to play the sexy role the best as possible while dealing with my great bodily functions....ugh sorry ladies I just needed to vent I was so upset! I know he feels terrible and he really didn't know what to say for the next hour while I cried about it, and this morning leaving for work he came into the room and said good bye like normal and I could tell he was still feeling bad. :( Hoping that this weekend I will be able to talk to him about it without breaking down!

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Re: DH, sex, hurt feelings, VENT

  • Hugs! Darn hormones and gas and all that.
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    Abbie
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  • Aww don't feel too bad. Good luck with the talk.  I hope he's understanding. 

    I'm glad DH and I haven't tried to have any kind of relations during this pregnancy.  It's been a long 9 months, but I'm really looking forward to being back to myself first.

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  • image shanad:

    Aww don't feel too bad. Good luck with the talk.  I hope he's understanding. 

    I'm glad DH and I haven't tried to have any kind of relations during this pregnancy.  It's been a long 9 months, but I'm really looking forward to being back to myself first.

    Agreed with the above. I am so sorry that you starting feeling that way, pregnancy is so confusing from moment to moment. And obviously feeling gassy, is not the best way to be feeling when you are trying to set the mood. Not to mention that it isn't the most comfortable to try and work it anyway. For this reason alone, it was easier for me and DH to put a hold on it during this pregnancy because I just can't handle my emotions, haven't felt like myself and cannot get in the mood no matter how hard I try. And now I just really would prefer him to not touch me at all. Looking forward to these hormones leveling out a bit.

    DX PCOS in 2000 TTC since April 2010 DX Hypothyroidism 6/2010 Referred to RE 9/2010.

    BFP in June 2011, DD born in 2012

    Joined the baby train again 8/2013. First month, out due to re-diganosis of Hashimotos.

    Sept 2013, 2.5 letrozole and trigger, low progestrone and using supplements = BFN.

    Oct 2013 2.5 Letrozole, trigger, and IUI = low progestrone (8.9, using supplements) and BFP 11/6 Beta 26.9, Beta 2 @ 30, Beta 3 @ 25.3, Beta 4 @ 25.2 CP 5w1d

    Nov 2013: ? waiting on AF

  • Sorry this happened but I can totally relate! I've been trying to keep up the sexy time during this pregnancy and we've been pretty good about it up until recently. All of the sudden I feel like I exploded and I can't find the sexy inside of me and it's so frustrating! Anyway if it makes you feel better BF and I had sexy time one night and immediately after he was on the computer - no cuddling, nothing! I was so upset and so upset afterwards that I cried for an hour and he felt so bad and spent the whole night trying to make me feel better! Men just don't understand how drastically our bodies have changed and our perceptions about ourselves so they're not as sympathetic as we want them to be. I'm sure once you tell him how you feel he will understand! Feel better! Smile! :)
    Liam Alexander - Born: March 10th, 2012
    Baby #2 - EDD: January 12th, 2015


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  • Aww that sucks...I'm sure he'll come around and understand.  It's not easy.

    I was feeling guilty and bad for DH on Valentines Day so even though I had no desire, we did the deed....it was quite an ordeal...I couldn't breathe so we had to prop pillows up behind my back so I was kinda sitting up and so I could breathe.  It was not comfortable at all.  I will be so glad when that is easier to do again!!!

    Hang in there!

    BFP #2 7/20/11 ** EDD: 3/28/12: IT'S A BOY!
    BFP #1 12/30/10 ** EDD: 9/6/11** H/B stopped at 10w 6d conf on 2/22/11 ** D&C 2/24/11.
    Congrats to my Labor Buddy LoriJ11, baby Elise born 2/24/12
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  • Thanks for the support ladies...I cannot wait to feel like myself again as well! I'm not sure what happened within the last week but I just feel like a blimp and just want our baby girl on the outside and my body back!
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  • I can definitely relate to you. I have had like 0 sex drive for the past few months, but every week or two my husband will wake me up and be all ready to go. I can barely keep myself comfortable enough to let him keep going, much less take any pleasure out the experience myself (except that it's nice to feel desirable). Half the time we give up halfway through. It's really pathetic. I miss my old body. I know he does too. We can't take it personally that this is all new and different for our partners too.
  • image ne14pez:
    image shanad:

    Aww don't feel too bad. Good luck with the talk.  I hope he's understanding. 

    I'm glad DH and I haven't tried to have any kind of relations during this pregnancy.  It's been a long 9 months, but I'm really looking forward to being back to myself first.

    Agreed with the above. I am so sorry that you starting feeling that way, pregnancy is so confusing from moment to moment. And obviously feeling gassy, is not the best way to be feeling when you are trying to set the mood. Not to mention that it isn't the most comfortable to try and work it anyway. For this reason alone, it was easier for me and DH to put a hold on it during this pregnancy because I just can't handle my emotions, haven't felt like myself and cannot get in the mood no matter how hard I try. And now I just really would prefer him to not touch me at all. Looking forward to these hormones leveling out a bit.

    So how have you ladies avoided the waking up being poked in the butt, and "baby, I wanna F" or "I want some P"? for the last 8 months? Mostly we have sex when I get sick of listening to him whine and just give in. How are you not "doing it?"

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    9/26/10-9/30/10
  • Any man expecting sex a month before their wife is about to giving birth is INSANE.  I have no sympathy for him and I am sorry he made you feel bad.  You sacrifice your body for 9 months+ he can wait 4 weeks.

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  • image williams4me:

    Aww that sucks...I'm sure he'll come around and understand.  It's not easy.

    I was feeling guilty and bad for DH on Valentines Day so even though I had no desire, we did the deed....it was quite an ordeal...I couldn't breathe so we had to prop pillows up behind my back so I was kinda sitting up and so I could breathe.  It was not comfortable at all.  I will be so glad when that is easier to do again!!!

    Hang in there!

     

    I have been feeling bad for DH, so maybe once a week I'll initiate. Although, I am in no desire to want to be touched at all and hard to breathe, hard to find a good position, and hurts so bad. DH deserves better action, so I cannot wait to get my body back to show him how much he is appreciated.

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  • You should NOT feel bad, to me it sounds like he's being a bit of a drama queen about it. DH still wants to do it all.the.time. but if I say look dude, I'm freakin' gassy, or constipated, or my belly is just SORE, or my back hurts, or whatever, he will back off right away. And not because some of those things are unsexy but because he wouldn't want to do it if I wouldn't enjoy it. There are other things that can be done (but only if YOU are feeling well) and if he is really desperate he can take of things himself. I've done it a couple of times I didn't want to but it was pretty obvious to DH that it was not the same.

    Do it if you want, only if you want. Do not feel bad. 

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