Babies: 9 - 12 Months

if you're not doing a big 1st Bday party

Why not?

Are you getting any crap for it from friends/fam?

I think 1st Birthday parties are more for the parents than the kid. And as one of the parents, I don't want to host a party. I want to just enjoy him. I want him to get messy in cake, open presents, have balloons and take lots of photos. (I also have a 1yr photoshoot planned with our photog friend a week before his Bday.) We don't have a lot of family or friends with kids in the same age group, so inviting the kids we know would mean we'd be entertaining ages 0-17 as well as all the adults.  We both have big extended families and quite a few friends, so there is potential for a HUGE bash. I just don't want to deal with it. I know the birthday boy won't care either way and he won't remember anyway. Not to mention, he doesn't need a billion more gifts, he was just overly spoiled by his grandparents at Christmas.

I mentioned to H just doing a pizza party for our immediate families (parents, siblings and our only niece) and he's unsure.  All of our friends and other family (cousins, etc.) keep asking when the party will be  Indifferent Anyone that I tell about our low-key party thinks i'm being lame and tries to talk me into some big bash. Becuase of this, H thinks we should "give in" and host a big party. 

What's with the peer pressure?  Anyone else in a similar situation? What are you doing?


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Re: if you're not doing a big 1st Bday party

  • Yes and I'm giving in :( We have a few couple friends with babies the same age, so I wanted to do something low key at our house, but then other friends were asking about it and saying "don't forget to invite us!" and if you invite one then you have to invite all or others would be upset... I'm doing 2 medium sized parties. One with our friends at our place and one with family and family friends at a pizza place where my mom lives. She's helping a lot with that one. I've let everyone know that this will be the only large party and next year it will be a small party with her actual friends and then we may do cake and ice cream with immediate family.

     I figure this year is more for everyone else and less for her. And I'm keeping it simple with food and decor. They all love her and just want to enjoy her and we're never going to have to do this again (except maybe for another baby). 

     I have been trying to spread the word to close family that she doesn't need toys or clothes and that books and savings bonds would be wonderful! I doubt they will listen, but maybe someone will :)

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  • Just stick to your guns if you don't want to have a big party. I'm sure people will give you crap, but it really sounds like you don't want to deal with it, so don't do it.

    I love to host get togethers, so this was the perfect reason to cook a bunch of food and have everyone over. I can't resist celebrating a first birthday. It really is just a matter of opinion.  Good luck!

    Whitney Venessa
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  • I'm hoping we can keep it small and to immediate family and maybe a few close friends.  Mostly because 1) I don't feel like hosting a giant party  2) he's going to be 1 and won't know what the heck is going on anyway and 3) I really don't want to involve DH's BSC aunt and cousin, especially after the stuff they pulled at our wedding a few years ago.
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  • I am in the same position you are.  We have a small house and do not have much room to entertain a lot of people. DH and I are just planning on inviting the immediate family members (total of about 12 people).

    Some family members may get offended, and I am just going to explain that we really don't have the room or money at this time to throw a huge party.

    I also don't want to deal with the stress of planning and preparing a party for a ton of people.  DS birthday falls on Easter weekend this year and there's already enough going on.

    Stick to what you're the most confortable with.

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  • We're not doing a big bash - just our brothers, parents and grandparents.  I have several friends who have asked when his birthday party will be and I've just flat out told them that we're just doing a little get together with immediate family.  The last thing I wanted to do was plan a big party and have it get snowed out, so I'd rather do something small and then if it snows I can just have it the next day or the day after or whatever.

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  • We are just doing my parents, my FIL, our siblings and their kids (12 people total). I'd say we are limited by space and money but if we really wanted to we could make a larger party work I just don't want to. Those are the people that see DS on a regular basis so they would be the ones excited to see him turn one and share it with him. One of our friends told us to invite a ton of people to DS's birthday so we could get a ton of presents like they did at their daughter's recent 1st birthday, that got a little bit of a side eye from me to openly admit that is why you invited people. But some people genuinely find larger parties fun and exciting but I just find them stressful so I'd prefer low key. At age 1 it really is more about the parents then the child so I am going to do what I feel most comfortable with for at least this birthday anyways.
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    The bumpie formerly known as First Time in MI
  • I concur w/ you 1st parties are more for the adults than kids and I think it seems gift grabby.  Some of my friends completely agree w/ me and others think I'm depriving my kids. DD1 is turning 3 this yr and she will have her 1st party. She has no recollection if she had any previous parties so I don't feel she suffers from deprivation.
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  • Were only doing immediate family (our siblings and their children, our parents and grandparents) and maybe one of our good friends who adores DS and is around often. Anyone who asks will be told sorry, were not having a big party. I also just want to be able to enjoy myself, not stress about hosting. I also refuse to have it at home because thats just more stress on me so I think we will have it at a park.


  • We've always done (for ds and will for dd) a party with us, our parents, and our siblings. That includes 4 nieces and a nephew.  No cousins of the adults though, no friends, etc.  We haven't gotten any flack for it though.  I would be annoyed if I had.  (I guess my family isn't into parties as much as some??).  We're a pretty low key bunch.  This celebration is at our house and we have a buffet type meal - some hot sandwich and munchies. 
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  • we are planning on just having a potluck bbq get together, did not want to waste money on a party that LO will not even remember or appreciate. We are also only having family attend.
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  • We are keeping it small.  But our families are scattered all over the country.  We will have our best friends over and the grandparents if they all decide to travel. 

    I am not a fan of kid's b-day parties.  I'm not really thrilled when I get invited to them, and I know I have many of them in my future with DD.  I'll wait until she knows what's going on. 

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  • We aren't having a party at all because 1. He won't remember it 2. We dont have the room for even immediate family (we both have huge families) and 3. I would rather save the money i would spend and go on a mini vaca to the beach or something this summer and 4. my SIL is due on his bday so there is a chance that half of the party would be at the hospital in a city 3 hours away anyway!


    I have had a few questions from family about when the party is and have gotten a lot of grief about not doing it. I don't care...i'm sticking to my guns.  We'll have some balloons, a cake for him to smash and we'll take pictures.  We weren't planning on buying him anything because he still has xmas gifts we haven't opened.  He'll have pictures of us celebrating his birthday but no party for us!

  • 1. I'm like a man when it comes to any of that crap... party planning, hosting, decorating, yada yada. I'm not into it and I'm not good at it.

    2. Our family is so scattered through out the country and work schedules/vaca time to get them all down here would get complicated.

    3. She will not remember anyway. I had a very small 1st bday party. I have never in any way suffered from that or felt deprived from that. I lived. For my 1st bday pics in my baby album, I seen a pic of my Mom holding me and smiling, that's ALL that mattered.

    ... I'm sure as a 1 year old, I would have much preferred a Mom holding me and being happy than a Mom scrambling over party favors and whatever.

    We will have a small party with me, LO, hubby, my mom, dad and sister. We will take pics, have a cake and balloons and everyone will be happy. Again, that's all that matters.

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  • We're not doing anything. All family is all two or more time zones away. None of our friends have kids (although two are pregnant) so no one is going to object. And we're just not party people.

    Once he's old enough to know what's going on and to have friends, fine. But not for adults.

    I never have an issue with peer pressure, so no real advice on overcoming it. But it's not like these people are offering to host this necessary giant bash, so would your DH really rather shell out all that money just to make them leave him alone?

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  • All I'm doing is gourmet cupcakes & ice cream with my parents, my siblings & 2 nieces.  Nothing fancy we will take lots of pics with my LO eating her first cake.

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