June 2011 Moms

is this a competition? (neighbour vent)

While I was pregnant another couple moved in next door and they were also expecting their first daughter in June.  Their DD arrived about 3 weeks after Abbey.  I don't see them often (especially now that it's winter) but EVERY time we see them they are trying to compete with us for weight.  It's the first question they ask...every.time.  I don't know if it's just me but aside from the odd time here and there (I use my wii fit) I only weighed her during her monthly visits.  Her last one was at 6 1/2 months and the next is at 9 months.  I've only weighed her once since her last visit.  She didn't gain any weight but I think she's gotten taller so I'm not concerned.  She weighs 18lbs...their DD (who is younger and about the same height--accoridng to them anyway) weight 21lbs!!!  When I said Abbey's weight they were like "oh, that's not bad"...wth does that mean?

I hesitated asking if she's crawling/cruising cause I didn't want to sound like a braggy douche...but I did anyway.  And then they are a like "what did she say first?  Mommy or Daddy?" I replied that she has been saying "mamamama" and "dadadada" for months now and DH added, but it's not like she associates it with us yet.  So of course they had to one up and mention how the husband returned to work after being on vacation for three weeks and the first day he came home their DD said "PA"(they are French so pa for papa) as soon as he walked in the door Confused

Every time they talk to us I feel like I'm losing some contest that I want no part of.  I know DD is healthy, she's breastfed so yes she may weigh less but she's far from underweight and I don't feel a need to compare her to their daughter.  Am I odd for not weighing her more often?  I just don't see how they always have her exact weight right on the tip of their tongue...I'm like "well she was about 18lbs a month ago" Embarrassed

vent over

Here is some pizza and beer for listening to me whine PizzaBeer

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Re: is this a competition? (neighbour vent)

  • Interesting, that seems odd that they would find weight a reason to one up you. The only thing I can think of to say to them would be, "Oh I dunno, we haven't weighed her for awhile." lol If you want to be snarky, which it doesn't sound like you do but I always like to give alternatives to my suggestions lol, you could say, after they tell you how much their girl weighs,"Oh my, she is large isn't she?" Or "Oh goodness, she must like to eat. You're gonna have to watch out for that when she's a teenager."

    LOL sorry, I'm a mean person inside. 

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  • image hepcats:

    Interesting, that seems odd that they would find weight a reason to one up you. The only thing I can think of to say to them would be, "Oh I dunno, we haven't weighed her for awhile." lol If you want to be snarky, which it doesn't sound like you do but I always like to give alternatives to my suggestions lol, you could say, after they tell you how much their girl weighs,"Oh my, she is large isn't she?" Or "Oh goodness, she must like to eat. You're gonna have to watch out for that when she's a teenager."

    LOL sorry, I'm a mean person inside. 

    lol I held my tongue but in my head I was thinking "boy she's pretty chunky...they must be over feeding her".  I curious to see what it will be like this summer when the two of them are playing outside every day

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  • That would be super irritating. Seeing as how you both have babies at the same age, it would be nice to have a mommy friend and someone to have playdates with, but I wouldn't want to if they act like that.

    And FWIW, I don't weigh Reed between doctor visits either. What's the point?

    I'm with hep, I would be tempted to get a little snarky the next time they want to compare!  Confused

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  • image PurdueMama14:

    That would be super irritating. Seeing as how you both have babies at the same age, it would be nice to have a mommy friend and someone to have playdates with, but I wouldn't want to if they act like that.

    And FWIW, I don't weigh Reed between doctor visits either. What's the point?

    I'm with hep, I would be tempted to get a little snarky the next time they want to compare!  Confused

    exactly! I hope the girls get along if we stay neighbours for many years but I don't want to deal with the parents if they just plan on comparing them forever.

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  • Is it possible they're just excited about their daughter? I've gotten those conversations before and they never bothered me, because parents like to talk about their kids. One of my coworkers had a son the same day I had DS and one of the first things she asks when I see her I how big DS. (Which I have no idea of anymore. Like you, I only do weight at the doctor.)
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  • image mari_gold:
    Is it possible they're just excited about their daughter? I've gotten those conversations before and they never bothered me, because parents like to talk about their kids. One of my coworkers had a son the same day I had DS and one of the first things she asks when I see her I how big DS. (Which I have no idea of anymore. Like you, I only do weight at the doctor.)

    I thought about this...thinking I was just reading too much into it, but DH said he feels the same way.  It's something about the tone in their voice when they say it...

    I'm glad at least I'm not the only one who isn't weighing LO every day

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  • ugh. That is annoying. Not that it matters, but if you BF and she FF (for example), that influences how a baby gains weight past 6 months, which is why there are two different charts for FF and BF infants.

    I weigh DD every once in a while, mainly to make sure she is still gaining. I know my DD is a pretty big girl, but it is not a damn competition. She has already been crawling pulling up to standing, but is no where near close to saying mama or dada or baba. They learn at their own pace!!

  • That is super annoying.

    We have a family friend (good friends of my parents) who had #3 2 weeks before LO was born. My mom is constantly comparing them. "Well S just sits happily all day long while his mom works from home." It totally irritates me.

    And no, I don't think you're odd for not weighing her often. I think they're choosing odd things to be competing about. Maybe because she's got nothing else on your A?!

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  • just like adults weight ranges so do babies. DD only gets weighed at the pedi. ask the Mom how much she weighs and tell her "oh that's alright" haha
  • I hope if anyone here is french this doesn't offend them. Whenever I tell my mom that my step-mom or other family members are mean she says "they aren't mean they are just french, that's how they are." Maybe that is the case with your neighbors?

    Also I don't weigh LO between visits. 

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  • image mari_gold:
    Is it possible they're just excited about their daughter? I've gotten those conversations before and they never bothered me, because parents like to talk about their kids. One of my coworkers had a son the same day I had DS and one of the first things she asks when I see her I how big DS. (Which I have no idea of anymore. Like you, I only do weight at the doctor.)

    I was thinking of this too the whole time I was reading your post. That or they just want to make sure their LO isn't too far behind compared to other babies the same age and your LOs happen to be the same age. Maybe you should refer her to June 2011 board so she can see that every baby is different.:) 

     

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  • image MustanGTbaby13:

    ugh. That is annoying. Not that it matters, but if you BF and she FF (for example), that influences how a baby gains weight past 6 months, which is why there are two different charts for FF and BF infants.


     I KNOW!! I think that's the problem...they don't seem to understand this.  Abbey has never had formula so she's measured on a different chart.  She's usually in the 60th percentile

     

    image IdigDirt:

    I hope if anyone here is french this doesn't offend them. Whenever I tell my mom that my step-mom or other family members are mean she says "they aren't mean they are just french, that's how they are." Maybe that is the case with your neighbors?

    Also I don't weigh LO between visits. 

    Well as an anglophone DH and I are the "freaks" around here (basically nobody speaks English in our town) so I can't really say it has to do with that. lol

     

     

    image MommaA117:
    just like adults weight ranges so do babies. DD only gets weighed at the pedi. ask the Mom how much she weighs and tell her "oh that's alright" haha

    HAHA!

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  • image chuicafina:

    That is super annoying.

    We have a family friend (good friends of my parents) who had #3 2 weeks before LO was born. My mom is constantly comparing them. "Well S just sits happily all day long while his mom works from home." It totally irritates me.

    And no, I don't think you're odd for not weighing her often. I think they're choosing odd things to be competing about. Maybe because she's got nothing else on your A?!

    that's what DH says!  

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  • image Turtle143:

    image mari_gold:
    Is it possible they're just excited about their daughter? I've gotten those conversations before and they never bothered me, because parents like to talk about their kids. One of my coworkers had a son the same day I had DS and one of the first things she asks when I see her I how big DS. (Which I have no idea of anymore. Like you, I only do weight at the doctor.)

    I was thinking of this too the whole time I was reading your post. That or they just want to make sure their LO isn't too far behind compared to other babies the same age and your LOs happen to be the same age. Maybe you should refer her to June 2011 board so she can see that every baby is different.:) 

     

    I would except she doesn't speak a word of English haha

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  • image IdigDirt:

    I hope if anyone here is french this doesn't offend them. Whenever I tell my mom that my step-mom or other family members are mean she says "they aren't mean they are just french, that's how they are." Maybe that is the case with your neighbors?

    Also I don't weigh LO between visits. 

    Hey now! I'm French. Wanna fight?  Surprise 

    Beside, her neighbor is French-Canadian, not French. I refuse to let the French-Canadians take credit for the French snobbery. Stick out tongue

    I kid, I kid. In reality, I think most French people are perfectly nice. At least my friends and family are!

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