July 2012 Moms

Yes it was planned...stop asking

At lease 5 people at my work have asked me if it was planned which is the second thing that comes out of their mouth after wow. I realize it seems a little adventurist to have a 4 year old, a 9 month old, and one on the way but come on people. I wish I had the nerve to give them some crazy answer but I do like their reaction when I say of course it was planned....dummies. I don't think I would ever have the nerve to ask someone if it was planned or not.

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Re: Yes it was planned...stop asking

  • Here's the answer you give: No it wasn't.  Maybe I should tell my hubby it isn't his, either.

    Always shuts them up.  But seriously, why do people ask grown women this question? It irks me no end!

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  • When will people learn that the ONLY acceptable thing to say when someone tells they are pregnant is "Congratulations"?! That's it.
  • i have 1 son 1 step daughter and ppl ask me why im having another isnt 2 enough??? um i wanted another im allowed to have as many as i want...why is it now a days more than 1-2 kids ppl act like its a sin and if u dont have the spacing between those right god forbid...  don't ppl remember familys being like 10kids ?? society has a wierd view on family size and spaceing of ages recently...
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  • Oh dear, I feel your pain.  We get asked this by people we barely know--like its any of their business!  So far all I've come up with is "we discussed it"--its not "crazy", but its vague enough that it shuts them up without us having to be 'splain.

    Its such a rude question!

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  • That is such a rude question. Is it anyone's business whether it was planned? I would be tempted to say something rude back.
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  • Why do people ask that??? I just don't get it.  This is our first and I was asked several times.  I told a co-worker this yesterday and he said my response should be, "I'm actually a VIRGIN, this is an immaculate conception!"  Now I'm HOPING someone will ask.

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  • OMG, can't believe that someone would even ask that!!!! TOtally agree that you should come up with a funny one liner to throw back at them. How awkward!

     

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  • I was asked this by my parents and my fiance's family. I was like well no but that doesn't make us any less happy about it. Yes it does mean we have to change our wedding date and we will let you know what our plans are.
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  • image AmberMH08:
    i have 1 son 1 step daughter and ppl ask me why im having another isnt 2 enough??? um i wanted another im allowed to have as many as i want...why is it now a days more than 1-2 kids ppl act like its a sin and if u dont have the spacing between those right god forbid...  don't ppl remember familys being like 10kids ?? society has a wierd view on family size and spaceing of ages recently...

    Seriously, after I had my 1st two, which were a boy and a girl. I had EVERYONE telling me you have a boy and girl so you're done now, it wasn't even a question it was like they were telling me that I had to be done!!! 

    I'm from a big family (6 kids and not a blended family, my parents are just rabbits:-) So, I think on a grand scale. Having a large family is what is normal for me. I have always wanted 4 children & by golly God willing I will.  

    PS- I shouldn't say everyone told me to quit. My own mother is understandably very hands off & never pressured me to have children nor has she expressed any concern about the # of children I want :-) She had to deal with all the comments of "OMG not another kid" when she was younger so she understands! 

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  • Yeah that's crazy, especially because it's people from your work. I could maybe understand family asking you that But come on really? People are so rude Confused
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  • I know! I have been asked the same thing with baby number two who is now 3, and have been asked that with this one as well because "isn't two enough?" And I just want to scream mind your own business and my DH and I will decide when we have had enough!
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  • Omg, so annoying!! People ask me ALL the time!  I'm married and this will be our first...so why wouldn't we plan it?! And why do people care?! :)
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  • image cwm11985:
    Omg, so annoying!! People ask me ALL the time!  I'm married and this will be our first...so why wouldn't we plan it?! And why do people care?! :)

    LOL, I'm married and this is our first, but it definitely came a little earlier than planned :)

    My response to that question vacillates between,"yes, we've always planned to have kids," and, if I'm feeling snarky, "why?"  

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  • I got this question last night at a work party. And even weirder, someone asked me if I knew who the father was. Um...I'm married, and have been for almost 2 years. Yeah, 100% positive who the father is. (In his defense, he's new and maybe didn't know I was married, but STILL, how is that an appropriate question to ask!??!?!?). 
    Shana
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  • This was the first response from my husband's entire family, mom, dad and brother, even before they said congratulations, they said..."was it planned?"
  • I totally feel your frustration!  This is my fourth so I heard that question A LOT when we first started telling people.  I simply answered, "Every child is planned whether it be by us or by God."  It is such an uncomfortable question!  It's almost like people want something scandelous with which to judge you.  "Oh, they didn't PLAN this baby.  It's an 'oops' baby."  Does it really matter if we planned for another child or not?  YOU aren't going to raise the baby, WE are.  So BUTT OUT of OUR business!
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  • Some how we have got lucky and haven't got asked very much but when we have it has kinda pissed me off.  We got married October 8th, 2011 and conceived some time around halloween but some how people don't know how to do their math and realize that it was 3 weeks after we got married! Plus what does it matter if I was pregnant when we got married or not because just about everyone that has asked me also knew I had been planning our wedding for about 10months BEFORE we got married!! Some people really have nerve!!!

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