March 2012 Moms

"Surprise" baby shower at work (rant)

So I've only been working at this company part-time since mid-September. I haven't really made any work friends (which is okay with me bc I don't plan to come back to work after baby), but I manage the typical chit chat amongst my co-workers.

We usually have a meeting/lunch once a month and today is the February one. Well, this morning one of the ladies comes up to me and goes "Are you excited for your baby shower today?" I had a look of complete confusion and instantly knew from her expression that she had just ruined a surprise baby shower for me. Hahaha!

I don't mean to sound ungrateful or rude, but geez people. The last thing I wanted was a baby shower at work... and a surprise one at that. Ugh. I hate surprises like this. I just wanted to eat my free lunch and go about my day.

Okay, long rant over.

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Re: "Surprise" baby shower at work (rant)

  • Wow, that actually did sound pretty ungrateful.  The people you work with are spending money and trying to make this special for you.  Please don't let them know that you don't like the idea of them doing something nice for you.
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  • Yes, I know it sounds ungrateful. I really am grateful, but I don't want people to feel like they HAVE to "get this new girl a gift because she's popping out a baby."

    I barely know these people. Like seriously, I've had one whole conversation with maybe 5 out of the 35 people here.

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  • image RebeccaLovesChris:
    Wow, that actually did sound pretty ungrateful.  The people you work with are spending money and trying to make this special for you.  Please don't let them know that you don't like the idea of them doing something nice for you.

    Yeah, I agree. I don't like surprises or being in the spotlight either. Especially when I'm with a group of people that I'm not all that comfortable with. You never can tell how others perceive your relationship. Just because you don't feel like you really fit in at work or that you haven't really made any friends doesn't mean that others haven't welcomed you into their circle. . Your co-workers obviously thought enough of you to do something in your honor. Just try to suck it up and put on a happy face. I'm sure you didn't mean to sound ungrateful, but it really is a kind gesture on their end.

  • Yep, you managed to make yourself sound like pretty a spoiled, rude, and ungrateful person. Sorry you have to torture yourself by sitting through your own surprise shower, when people have taken the time to do something nice for you. ::insert eyeroll here::
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  • Why not take this opportunity to get to know everyone in your office a little better. They are doing something really sweet for you which they didnt have to do it at all. Try to have fun....
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  • image vwatson83:

    I barely know these people. Like seriously, I've had one whole conversation with maybe 5 out of the 35 people here.

    And yet they're still doing something nice for you - why are you complaining?  I agree you sound completely ungrateful.

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  • image 526SadieSadie:
    image vwatson83:

    I barely know these people. Like seriously, I've had one whole conversation with maybe 5 out of the 35 people here.

    And yet they're still doing something nice for you - why are you complaining?  I agree you sound completely ungrateful.

    This.

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  • Okay, once again. Yes I realize that I come across as ungrateful. I AM GRATEFUL of their generosity and time. I'm simply just expressing my feelings of discomfort and general embarrassment of ooing and awing over baby stuff with strangers. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. I am just a shy and quiet person by nature.
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  • And I also feel terrible because I'll have to let everyone at the same time know that I'll be leaving the company for good in 2 weeks.
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  • image vwatson83:
    Okay, once again. Yes I realize that I come across as ungrateful. I AM GRATEFUL of their generosity and time. I'm simply just expressing my feelings of discomfort and general embarrassment of ooing and awing over baby stuff with strangers. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. I am just a shy and quiet person by nature.

    I think I understand where you're coming from. Showers can be awkward enough when it's family and friends, but I can't imagine how awkward it would be with people you aren't even that close to and who you'll be leaving soon - especially if your nature is generally to be shy! I agree with PP, though, just put on your best acting face, make sure they know you are grateful, and grit your teeth and think of England!  


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  • image vwatson83:
    And I also feel terrible because I'll have to let everyone at the same time know that I'll be leaving the company for good in 2 weeks.

    OK, I get it now.  If you had said this in your first post, I might have replied differently.

    I suppose you have the option of not accepting the gifts, if it makes you really uncomfortable, but everyone should still get a 'thank you' note

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  • image MomOfTwo2012:
    Why not take this opportunity to get to know everyone in your office a little better. They are doing something really sweet for you which they didnt have to do it at all. Try to have fun....

    I agree with this.  Try to have fun and get to know some of your co-workers better, even if you are leaving after you have the baby.  You might end up liking them.  

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  • Your original post does make you sound ungrateful, but I *think* I understand what you are saying.  It's the attention you don't want, right?  I know it can be a little uncomfortable to be around people you don't really know while sharing something like the excitement of your child, but like the other posters have said, just put on a smile and enjoy yourself.  I think it's great that your company is doing this for you - esp if they haven't known you that long.  And it doesn't matter that you are leaving - I doubt they would have decided not to throw you a shower if they knew that you were leaving.  Just make the most of it - you never know, you may end up having a great time!  :)
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  • image MrsMincks:

    image vwatson83:
    Okay, once again. Yes I realize that I come across as ungrateful. I AM GRATEFUL of their generosity and time. I'm simply just expressing my feelings of discomfort and general embarrassment of ooing and awing over baby stuff with strangers. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. I am just a shy and quiet person by nature.

    I think I understand where you're coming from. Showers can be awkward enough when it's family and friends, but I can't imagine how awkward it would be with people you aren't even that close to and who you'll be leaving soon - especially if your nature is generally to be shy! I agree with PP, though, just put on your best acting face, make sure they know you are grateful, and grit your teeth and think of England!  

    Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a very grateful and generous person... I'm just really shy and worry alot about what others think of me. I will definitely put on a happy face for sure. I wouldn't want to ruin my own shower, would I? Wink

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  • image vwatson83:
    image MrsMincks:

    image vwatson83:
    Okay, once again. Yes I realize that I come across as ungrateful. I AM GRATEFUL of their generosity and time. I'm simply just expressing my feelings of discomfort and general embarrassment of ooing and awing over baby stuff with strangers. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. I am just a shy and quiet person by nature.

    I think I understand where you're coming from. Showers can be awkward enough when it's family and friends, but I can't imagine how awkward it would be with people you aren't even that close to and who you'll be leaving soon - especially if your nature is generally to be shy! I agree with PP, though, just put on your best acting face, make sure they know you are grateful, and grit your teeth and think of England!  

    Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a very grateful and generous person... I'm just really shy and worry alot about what others think of me. I will definitely put on a happy face for sure. I wouldn't want to ruin my own shower, would I? Wink

    I'm not even that shy and I was still a little traumatized by a surprise party. I totally get that feeling of "THIS IS THE LAST THING I WANT!" 


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  • image vwatson83:
    Okay, once again. Yes I realize that I come across as ungrateful. I AM GRATEFUL of their generosity and time. I'm simply just expressing my feelings of discomfort and general embarrassment of ooing and awing over baby stuff with strangers. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. I am just a shy and quiet person by nature.

     I can understand the unconfortable feeling. I am one that does not normally like being the center of attention even around people I've known for years. Hang in there. At least it's only for an hour or so and then it will be over. Be thankful that people thought of you. Be as positive as you can even if the situation is completely out of your comfort zone. Good luck Big Smile

    PS - It's okay to share your feelings even if they are misunderstood... don't let it get you down.

  • image SheenaNash1:
    Yep, you managed to make yourself sound like pretty a spoiled, rude, and ungrateful person. Sorry you have to torture yourself by sitting through your own surprise shower, when people have taken the time to do something nice for you. ::insert eyeroll here::

    Um, yeah Confused

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  • I was lucky that the few colleagues I consider to be friends know how I feel about showers... so when the boss and some other "team members" were discussing a shower for me they were told  NO DONT DO IT ....  my boss emailed me and asked me if I was sure I didnt want one .. when I said oh hell no it's only one step down from Karaoke in my idea of hell.. she asked me if I wanted a Gift card instead. 

    I just said thanks but no thanks...     .. the ones who I actually class as friends  have/will buy a small something anyway if they want to.... which is cool.. that is ok when you are actually friends.

    sorry I tend to disagree with the general consensus.. why should OP be made to sit and squirm to keep everyone else happy .. it's a two way street, no one asked her if she wanted a shower, or would be comfortable with it.  Not everyone is a social animal and wants random people buying them gifts just because you are pregnant... its the same as people thinking its ok to comment and touch you because you are pregnant...they dont do that to be mean or rude either but it's equally invasive and presumptuous.
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  • I totally get where you're coming from.  I'm not an ungrateful person either..but I have a hard time with crowds and especially with being in a room full of people that I don't know well on a personal level and having all the attention turned on me.  

    Last year, after having worked at a place for 11months, I was being laid off.  The lay off came due to the person who's maternity leave I'd covered coming back for her job, nothing to do with my work performance.  Anyways, the whole office threw a going away party for me.  Even though I knew that they liked me, I got along with them on a "work" friendly level, I was completely and totally uncomfortable.  I sucked it up, pasted on a happy face, and went into the boardroom to get it over with..While I appreciated the thoughtfullness I was totally wishing I was somewhere else because I was so nervous and out of my element that I wanted to crawl somewhere and hide.  I did get through it, and so will you...just know that you're not the only one who feels this way about having the attention turned all on you, especially at work.

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