Stay at Home Moms

Sometimes people need to know when to STFU (vent)

So, we've decided to send DS to a private Catholic school.  I'm really good with this decision.  I went to this school when I was a kid and the education was (and still seems to be) outstanding.

I called my dad/SM last night to tell them that the decision was final (I was a little on the fence about the religious aspect of it) and that we're sending DS to this particular school.  Which happens to be the school for the church that I was raised in and my parents still go to.  

My dad said that he was happy to hear that and that DH and I need to get "on board" and be Catholic as well.  He would.not.let.it.go.  I identify somewhere between Pagan and Agnostic.  DH identifies as Christian in that he believes in the message of Christ but not the dogma of "The Church".  My father knows this and went on to tell me that our wedding really didn't count and that the only true religion is Catholicism.  

I told my dad that I believe that we choose the path that works best for us and that what is most important is that connection with something greater than ourselves.  I also told my dad that I don't really care what spiritual path DS follows when he's older as long as it works for him and he's happy.  This of course sent my dad off on another tirade about how there's no other valid religion.

Gah, dad, I know you believe that your way is the "right" way, and it may be right for you, but it is NOT right for me personally. 

You know, he can't just say "well, at least they're getting my grandson off to a good start and a good spiritual foundation" its got to be the whole fvkking agenda.

I was actually tempted to say "you know what? forget the whole thing.  we'll send DS somewhere else if this is how you're going to be about it."  But I didn't.  I'm glad I didn't let my pride get in the way of making sure DS gets the education/religious foundation that DH and I decided was best.

And my dad is too stupid/stubborn to realize that I was the one who suggested (and pushed) for the Catholic school.  It wasn't DH pushing for it, it was me.

/rant over!

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Re: Sometimes people need to know when to STFU (vent)

  • Wow, that was longer than I thought!

    Wine and bon-bons for everyone that made it through all that!

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  • Half the kids I grew up went to Catholic school and were not actually Catholic..and I am pretty sure none of them converted because of the wonderful spiritual education.  LOL  Most of them actually hated that part of the schooling. 

    Sometimes it is the best option.  It really has nothing to do religion for most people these days.

     

     


    Lilypie - (ZESJ)Lilypie - (QAi1)

  • Is he starting preschool next school year?
    I guess I don't know why it would be such a big deal about school at 2.5.
    My girls have gone to a catholic school for preschool.  There are only 2 catholic preschools and the motessori in our town unless they qualify for special needs through the school district.

  • So, you told him about a family decision that he would agree with and he took it as an opportunity to attack you about the rest of the choices you've made in life?

    Hmm

    Nice. Is he always this peachy or did you catch him in a good mood?

    I usually just hang up on my dad when he acts like that. Good for you for taking the high ground.

    Elkanah Brave, born 02/06/2012 7:26am
  • Ugh that sucks! My ILs may think we're going to hell (I'm not sure) but they'd know better than to say anything to us about it. We have an unspoken understanding... Though sometimes I wish they'd just say what they're thinking so we could argue and get it out of the way. On any topic really.
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  • I'm impressed you were able to make it all the way through that conversation.

    I was raised Catholic, my parents are mostly non-practicing at this point and have been since I was confirmed.  My parents became very cranky about the fact that I became a Lutheran (nevermind that my brother is agnostic and my sister never made religion important in her life). 

    Cat
    Married since 2003
    Mom to 2 daughters, ages 7 & 5
  • That sounds like my dad.  Although minus the Catholic part.  We're Christian though so he nags me about church all the time.  So sorry he acted that way but I think you handled it much better than I would have.
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    Currently going through our second deployment. Can't wait for Zoe to meet her daddy!

  • That is ridiculous! I'm Christian and I think that's wrong. My S/O is a pretty devout Catholic too and I just wish people would understand that it's NOT ok to look down on someone just because they don't have the same belief system that you do. Good for you standing your ground! I don't understand why he would say all those things when you put your son in a school that he would approve of. Some people just don't understand freedom of choice. My FIL is very pushy with his beliefs and my S/O and I just tune him out most of the time. Sounds like you may have to do that. 
  • You ladies are awesome!  Thanks so much for the validation.  I swear to God (LOL) that I could feel that little girl inside me digging my heels in the ground and wanting to scream "don't tell me how to live my life!!!" last night.

    DH and I talked about it last night and I'm in a good place with everything but it still has me PO'd.

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  • Oh you little heathen you LOL.. JUST KIDDING!!!

    DH & I are pretty conservative Catholic and honestly, I don't want others pushing their religion on me, and I respect their choices as well because the more important part (IMO) is simply the golden rule whether one adheres to a religion or not...  I also absolutely HATED Catholic school as a kid, it wasn't enough to be treated like crap by the kids in school, but the teachers/principal bullied the crap out of me.  Even though DH had the "Church Lady" for a mother, after a couple years they chose to transfer him to public school.  That said, if it makes you feel any better, I almost taught the Nun who is the Principal at DD's school a new religion at the beginning of the school year when she tried to tell me how to parent after DD was being sent home from school for a disciplinary matter (that ended up being a mountain made out of a mole hill but it took a month before the school admitted to what had actually happened that day)..  Though if it weren't for DH, Catholic school would also not be my first choice, but the stats are pretty solid for the structure that the schools have primarily because they can pick/choose who they accept.  If I remember right there were a classmate or two of mine who weren't Catholic who still attended.  You have to make the decision based on what is best educationally for your child, nothing more nothing less.  Good luck with the parents, you can pretty much be certain that this won't be the end of it...much to your dismay... from him..

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