Baby Showers

Ugh. Seriously? And what would you buy?

I received a mass email invite to a baby shower, being thrown by the mother herself.  There were 48 people on the invitation email.  She broke the 48 into three groups and asked that Group A bring decor/centerpieces, Group B bring appetizers/dessert, and Group C bring drinks.  She also included her address and said that if people can't make it to the shower, they can just send gifts directly to her.

I looked at the registry items and most are between $150-$500.  She is unemployed and there is no dad in the picture, so I know finances must be tight.  But seriously?

I'm really considering just sending diapers and wipes, or a teddy bear for the kid.

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Baby Boy born sleeping at 20 weeks.
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Re: Ugh. Seriously? And what would you buy?

  • I would just send a gift card for the store she registered at and just do an amount you can affford. That way she can apply towards something bigger that she needs.

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  • By the time I was to the group part of the first paragraph, I choked a little bit on the water I was drinking.

    I'm down with gift cards, but this chick sounds like she might not be. Or she might look at the dollar amount and think, "That's it?" I'd pick an amount you are comfortable spending and then pick up some of the necessary items (diapers, wipes, etc.) Throw in a small gift card if you want, too.

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  • I wouldn't send anything, nor would I attend.
  • A greeting card and my regrets.

  • I'd send a small gift for the baby - cute outfit, stack of bibs, diapers/wipes, whatever - and decline the invitation.  And that's only if there was some way to get out of the gift part (e.g. didn't know her very well).  With my luck it'd be my uber-tacky cousin doing that....
  • image Ivana.Stolichnaya:
    I wouldn't send anything, nor would I attend.

    Yes  Sounds like a charity event more than a shower! 

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  • Wow. That is sooooo tacky. I would give her a gift card and not attend.
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  • Ugh.  Decline and be done with it.  :)
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  • Seriously??? She essentially asked people to throw a shower for her!  I'd send a regrets and that's about it.  I can't believe this is a good friend so I don't think I would send much else ... maybe something very small, but that's just beyond tacky.

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  • I would send my regrets.
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  • image RoxyLynn:
    I'd send a small gift for the baby - cute outfit, stack of bibs, diapers/wipes, whatever - and decline the invitation.  And that's only if there was some way to get out of the gift part (e.g. didn't know her very well).  With my luck it'd be my uber-tacky cousin doing that....

    Yeah, it is.  :)

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    Baby Boy born sleeping at 20 weeks.
  • I'd send a gift card as well.

    I got a FB invite with a similar situation minus bringing shower decor, LOL


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  • Honestly, I would just send a card without anything in it. That just screams gift grabby, and I wouldn't go just because of it.
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  • I wouldn't even bother with a reply. To just assume everyone is coming AND bring the decor/food/drink AND a pricey gift? Unless this was my sister, there's nothing that would make me do anything for this woman. If it were my sister, I'd call her out on it. I don't care how unfortunate your situation is, this is beyond rude.
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  • That's really tacky to ask people to supply things for the shower. Sure money is tight, but isn't it with everyone? I had an aunt ask if she needed me to bring something for my shower. I politely told her that everything was covered. I would never in a million years consider asking someone to bring supplies for a shower.
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  • I would decline the invite and not send anything.  The whole thing is tacky!!!! 

    -She's throwing her own shower-Tacky

    -She mass emailed people as an invite-Tacky(I''m not against tasteful e-vites but not for just a regular old email saying "come to my party" sent to every tom *** and harry in the address book)

    -She told GUESTS to bring stuff to her party.....I have NEVER attened a shower where I was expected to bring the food and decorations.-Tacky

    -Her regestry screams GIFT GRABBY!  My regestry has items raging from $2-$300 because I know money can be tight and I would rather someone buy a binki if that's all they can afford and get themselves to the party rather than not come because they can't afford a gift.

    She needs to realize it's HER responsibility to provide for this child NOT everyone elses.

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  • I would send an email saying I had plans for that day and leave it at that.  I wouldn't send a single thing, not a thing.  Doing so would just encourage her to pull this same nonsense with her next child. 
  • I'd consider declining and not sending anything at all, but rather meeting up with her after the baby is born with a "welcome baby" gift of some small necessities... somehow that would make me feel like the gift was something I chose to give her because I care for her.. not because I felt obligated to after getting the invitation.
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  • What would I buy?  Not a damn thing.  

     If there was no graceful way of getting out of it, I'd send a card with a $20 gift card.  The whole event screams gift grabby-clearly she doesn't care at all about the people attending, just what they'll bring to the shower (Including the shower itself!)  


  • I'd do the same.  Decline, and then when the baby is born bring an outfit and diapers.

     

    Eta: oops, supposed to be a quote in there.  I'd reply back via email saying I couldn't go, not sending anything.  Then small gift when baby is born.

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  • If I were a very close friend I would send regrets with a gift card to her registry store.  Maybe also a list of Moms to Moms sales, Salvation Army and/or Goodwill stores, and any store that sells "gently used" baby things.  Wow.  Poor thing...isn't there anyone in her family that has some common sense that could educate her?
  • image rhubarb123:
    If I were a very close friend I would send regrets with a gift card to her registry store.  Maybe also a list of Moms to Moms sales, Salvation Army and/or Goodwill stores, and any store that sells "gently used" baby things.  Wow.  Poor thing...isn't there anyone in her family that has some common sense that could educate her?

    If it were a very close friend, I'd tell her what an azz she was being.

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  • image Scout2005:
    I wouldn't go and I probably wouldn't send anything, honestly.
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  • My jaw actually dropped on this one.  I like what PPs said--send your regrets, then take some essentials after the baby is born.
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  • image Liz4444:
    I would send my regrets.

    This. I also wouldn't send a gift.

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  • image DO-JO:
    I'd consider declining and not sending anything at all, but rather meeting up with her after the baby is born with a "welcome baby" gift of some small necessities... somehow that would make me feel like the gift was something I chose to give her because I care for her.. not because I felt obligated to after getting the invitation.

    All of this. 

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  • image MelleTX:

    image DO-JO:
    I'd consider declining and not sending anything at all, but rather meeting up with her after the baby is born with a "welcome baby" gift of some small necessities... somehow that would make me feel like the gift was something I chose to give her because I care for her.. not because I felt obligated to after getting the invitation.

    All of this. 

    Tritto.  

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  • image Ivana.Stolichnaya:
    I wouldn't send anything, nor would I attend.

    This! If enough people deny her, maaaaybe she would get the point? Nah, probably not, but at least I wouldn't feel like a sucker!

  • image RoxyLynn:
    I'd send a small gift for the baby - cute outfit, stack of bibs, diapers/wipes, whatever - and decline the invitation.  And that's only if there was some way to get out of the gift part (e.g. didn't know her very well).  With my luck it'd be my uber-tacky cousin doing that....

    This, because we all know how annoying it is to get tons of clothes instead of things we need and she doesn't deserve to get diapers/wipes, because of how tacky she is! How strange.

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