Babies: 0 - 3 Months

My poor husband... (TMI)

Our son was 6 weeks old yesterday, so hubby and I tried to do the deed last night after he got home from work. He was wearing a lubricated condom and we even added some extra lube just in case to help with the discomfort, but he didn't even get in all the way before I was hurting a little. I tried not to let him see that I was uncomfortable, but I guess I didn't do such a good job, so he looked "down there" and there was a little bit of blood and he TOTALLY freaked out. He said "Oh my God, I'm hurting you! I can't do this!" and he totally gave up and rolled over. I felt so bad! He's been so good with our son and he's such a wonderful husband and I feel like he deserves some long-overdue fun in the sack, but now I think he's traumatized! Anybody else's hubby have the same reaction? What can I do to ease discomfort for me and convince him that he's not going to hurt me?!
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Re: My poor husband... (TMI)

  • I think the best thing you could possibly do is be honest with him. Don't try to hide it from him if it hurts, and try to talk to him about it. Explain that its going to take some time and that your body is still in the process if healing. Try again in a couple of days. I totally get where you are coming from though. Perhaps make an agreement to try other fun things in bed that don't necessarily require vaginal penetration. He probably is really terrified of tearing you or causing some sort of physical trauma that could land you in the hospital again and/or putting you out of commission for longer. No harm in at least trying to have an adult open conversation with him about it though. That gets me and mine through EVERYTHING that we might be uncomfortable or upset with. And it really helps to clarify things a lot and makes us BOTH feel better about any decisions we might make
  • Be honest, tell him if it hurts. It will be uncomfortable the first time, so go slow. Uncomfortable does not equal pain. The first time was a little strange for me, but not painful. We are now enjoying sex again. It will get better.
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  • Our first time was painful and uncomfortable and I had a c-section!  So I'm guessing it was all nerves (afraid to get preggers again??  listening for baby?? who knows!)  I even had my doc check me internally at one of DS's appts - all was fine - so we just kept trying and took baby steps, relaxed, lots of foreplay... eventually it got back to normal.  Hang in there.  And like the others said - be honest!!  Its all very normal!!
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