2nd Trimester

Has this happened to anyone else in public places.

People tend to think I look young for my age, some think I still pass as a Junior in HS & follow by saying how 'I'm lucky for my age' (w/e that means). Which, however, is okay in some aspects but can be a pain in the rear.

For Instance, what should have been a fun, memorable outing of maternity shopping w/ Hubby this past weekend... Turned into one of the most awkward experiences yet...

Here goes:

My husband & I were shopping for a belly band & maternity tops. While doing so, got some of the rudest looks along with throat clearings I've ever encountered (which I shot right back with my own exaggerated version of said persons throat clearing just to show how ridiculous & rude it looks)...

It's like c'mon ppl, give it a rest, turn off the soap/lifetime movies inside your head, act like a mature adult & keep your subtle opinions (which you're entitled to) to yourself. Now even if I were a 'teen mom', there's no sense in being rude to a perfect stranger - especially when you don't know the situation. Not all teen mothers are stereotype cast members from teen mom or some lifetime drama involving teen mothers... In fact, I've worked with plenty of women who were 'teen mothers' & built an excellent career & life for themselves. So put the stereotypes to rest...

But anyway, the fact I'm a grown woman in my mid to late 20's, 'look lucky for my age' (as some would put it), which I very well deserve after the awkward teen phase I went throughStick out tongue, validates why ppl need to mind their own damn business & how snap judgements of a person you don't even know make you look like an ignorant jackrabbit.

 


Re: Has this happened to anyone else in public places.

  • Okay now I want to see a picture of you!  Btw, sorry you had to deal with a$$hat people. 

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  • maybe they just had some phlegm?? :-)  haven't had anything like that while pg- first baby was at 30 years old though, but did have a lady say something to me while trying out a massage chair (sign said no one under 18)- I said "I'm 27!!!" but thanks.  She said she was joking, but who knows??  I know the older I get, the younger people look when they are 21 and drinking, but still the judging will get them no where.
  • image lmj8284:

    Okay now I want to see a picture of you!  Btw, sorry you had to deal with a$$hat people. 

    Ditto 

  • image Asquared:
    maybe they just had some phlegm?? :-)  haven't had anything like that while pg- first baby was at 30 years old though, but did have a lady say something to me while trying out a massage chair (sign said no one under 18)- I said "I'm 27!!!" but thanks.  She said she was joking, but who knows??  I know the older I get, the younger people look when they are 21 and drinking, but still the judging will get them no where.

    Ha - perhaps but she made sure to get my attn... I'll leave it at that... Everyone has babies at diff ages. But I'm not sure what drinking 21 y/o have to do with my situation? Although the looks I got buying an occasional bottle of wine prior to preggo times were a hoot! Making sure my ID flickered properly in the store light, LoL, good times, ha.

  • I get this all the time.  I look a lot younger than I am.  And I feel like people look at me like I'm crazy when I mention that I have a 6 year old and another on the way.  I feel like when I am walking on campus people give me weird looks, but maybe I am just paranoid.  I just want to wear a sign that says "i am married" so people will judge less.
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  • image kincaid44:
    I get this all the time.  I look a lot younger than I am.  And I feel like people look at me like I'm crazy when I mention that I have a 6 year old and another on the way.  I feel like when I am walking on campus people give me weird looks, but maybe I am just paranoid.  I just want to wear a sign that says "i am married" so people will judge less.

    Ha. Ppl are weird. You think the wedding band would say it all... My MIL got her nursing degree @ 54, no one gave her weird looks when she walked up to get her diploma. I don't get the dbl standard, sigh...

  • If it's overtly obvious that they are saying something rude without words then sling it back at them.  Ask them if they have something to say to your face.  Just be careful because it is cold season and I also have crap stuck in my throat that I'm constantly clearing.
  • People have told me I look young too, and I'm almost thirty! I'm worried people will give me weird looks when I start to show. It's really nobody's business. I can try and say it won't bother me, and I wish it wouldn't, but if I see someone giving me a judgey look...it will totally bother me. Sorry you had to deal with that.
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  • image cmurphy09:

    People tend to think I look young for my age, some think I still pass as a Junior in HS & follow by saying how 'I'm lucky for my age' (w/e that means). Which, however, is okay in some aspects but can be a pain in the rear.

    For Instance, what should have been a fun, memorable outing of maternity shopping w/ Hubby this past weekend... Turned into one of the most awkward experiences yet...

    Here goes:

    My husband & I were shopping for a belly band & maternity tops. While doing so, got some of the rudest looks along with throat clearings I've ever encountered (which I shot right back with my own exaggerated version of said persons throat clearing just to show how ridiculous & rude it looks)...

    It's like c'mon ppl, give it a rest, turn off the soap/lifetime movies inside your head, act like a mature adult & keep your subtle opinions (which you're entitled to) to yourself. Now even if I were a 'teen mom', there's no sense in being rude to a perfect stranger - especially when you don't know the situation. Not all teen mothers are stereotype cast members from teen mom or some lifetime drama involving teen mothers... In fact, I've worked with plenty of women who were 'teen mothers' & built an excellent career & life for themselves. So put the stereotypes to rest...

    But anyway, the fact I'm a grown woman in my mid to late 20's, 'look lucky for my age' (as some would put it), which I very well deserve after the awkward teen phase I went throughStick out tongue, validates why ppl need to mind their own damn business & how snap judgements of a person you don't even know make you look like an ignorant jackrabbit.

     


     

     

    I am 18, and I am expecting my first child so I actually get this very frequently and it is very annoying.

    Nobody bothers to ask that I already have an Associate's Degree and I am in my 3rd year toward a Bachelor's already for Nursing. And nobody bother's to ask if I am already happily married (for 2 years) and financially stable.

    I am all of those things, but I still get the dirty looks as if just because I am only 18 I won't be able to be a good mother or something.

    I actually went maternity shopping yesterday and got maternity pants, a few shirts, and a cardigan. And the entire time the older mother's in the section were eyeballing me and looking at me rudely.

     I was extremely annoyed and I felt very offended but I ignored it. I get looks anywhere I go and people look at my husband as if we are both irresponsible and he is the spawn of the devil or something.

    I hate the way people have a stereotype against young mother's. As old as they are they could all do some growing up.

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    BFP: 10/12/12 ; EDD: 06/11/13 ; MC at 8w 5d

  • Sorr you had to deal with rude people! I'm just waiting for this to happen to me. When I got married I went to the DMV to change my name. They thought I was 16 and there to take the test. I was 23. So awkward.
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  • image DeAndraM01:
    image cmurphy09:

    People tend to think I look young for my age, some think I still pass as a Junior in HS & follow by saying how 'I'm lucky for my age' (w/e that means). Which, however, is okay in some aspects but can be a pain in the rear.

    For Instance, what should have been a fun, memorable outing of maternity shopping w/ Hubby this past weekend... Turned into one of the most awkward experiences yet...

    Here goes:

    My husband & I were shopping for a belly band & maternity tops. While doing so, got some of the rudest looks along with throat clearings I've ever encountered (which I shot right back with my own exaggerated version of said persons throat clearing just to show how ridiculous & rude it looks)...

    It's like c'mon ppl, give it a rest, turn off the soap/lifetime movies inside your head, act like a mature adult & keep your subtle opinions (which you're entitled to) to yourself. Now even if I were a 'teen mom', there's no sense in being rude to a perfect stranger - especially when you don't know the situation. Not all teen mothers are stereotype cast members from teen mom or some lifetime drama involving teen mothers... In fact, I've worked with plenty of women who were 'teen mothers' & built an excellent career & life for themselves. So put the stereotypes to rest...

    But anyway, the fact I'm a grown woman in my mid to late 20's, 'look lucky for my age' (as some would put it), which I very well deserve after the awkward teen phase I went throughStick out tongue, validates why ppl need to mind their own damn business & how snap judgements of a person you don't even know make you look like an ignorant jackrabbit.

     


     

     

    I am 18, and I am expecting my first child so I actually get this very frequently and it is very annoying.

    Nobody bothers to ask that I already have an Associate's Degree and I am in my 3rd year toward a Bachelor's already for Nursing. And nobody bother's to ask if I am already happily married (for 2 years) and financially stable.

    I am all of those things, but I still get the dirty looks as if just because I am only 18 I won't be able to be a good mother or something.

    I actually went maternity shopping yesterday and got maternity pants, a few shirts, and a cardigan. And the entire time the older mother's in the section were eyeballing me and looking at me rudely.

     I was extremely annoyed and I felt very offended but I ignored it. I get looks anywhere I go and people look at my husband as if we are both irresponsible and he is the spawn of the devil or something.

    I hate the way people have a stereotype against young mother's. As old as they are they could all do some growing up.

     

    Good for you ~ Everyone matures at different rates. I was taught as a child that staring is impolite, you'd think they'd gotten the memo & know that feeling you are referring to... the bulging eyes are relatable to walking into a Sauna, like steam smacking you in the face & gets uncomfortable after only a few seconds... Nothing justifies this type of situation as okay & imo a form of discrimination.

  • This.

    This happened to me a lot when I was pregnant with my first, got even worse with my second, and not only will it more than likely happen with this baby but along with getting rude comments and looks for looking young,we have already a whole line of comments on how quickly we pop out babies. I can't take people's negativity when I already have a hard time being happy about having a 3rd baby.

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  • My mother always looked like she was a teenager. She is only 5 feet tall. When she was in her mid-twenties she and my father were married. He is only five years older. They were out having dinner and a man went up to my father and called him a pervert for being with a woman so young. It was awful. My mother always hated looking so young, but now she LOVES it. She is 57 and looks like she's in her 30's. Just keep thinking how awesome it will be to look young when you are older!

    FWIW, I look young too and get the "oh I thought you were like 18!" haha.

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  • I understand what you are going through. I am just waiting for the nasty looks and comments. Right before DH and I got married, we were out to dinner with his parents. As we were being seated, the hostess asked me if I wanted a kids menu, I was 23 at the time. I almost ordered an alcohol drink just so they had to card me.
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  • All the time! I'm 25 but apparently look about 16-17(?). As long as people aren't RUDE when they mistake me for a teen, I don't mind. Usually I get a funny story out of it and they're more embarrassed than I am annoyed.

    BUT I am wondering what it's gonna be like when I start to show more/have the baby. When I WAS 16, I would go out with my baby brother and get dirty looks (I always found it interesting how it was immediately assumed that I was his mom - not even a babysitter, or aunt, or anything). Not excited to possibly get that again :-/ People just need to mind their own business - even if we WERE teen moms, no one's asking them for their opinions!

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  • I guess discrimination works both ways. 

     When I had my DD I was in my mid-30's. About 3 weeks after her birth I went to the store to buy some pacifiers. An "old" lady asked how old my granddaughter was!

    I'd rather have what you experienced any day of the week.Smile

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  • It sucks you have to put up with that kind of rudeness.  When I was 16, my littlest sister was a small 3 year old, and I watched her fairly often.  Whenever I was out and about with her, I felt like people thought she was my kid and were judging me.  I probably never would have noticed had it not been for the few who actually asked.

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  • This happens to me all the time.  I will be 29 when the baby is born.  Most people think I am 17 or 18.  When I tell them I am almost 30 they are shocked. 
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  • I really cannot believe this happens in this day and age.  Not that I'm condoning 16-year-old moms as an ideal way of life...but come on; there's shows about it and a recent article about a brave teen mom who incidentally died to have her child.  I thought this was an age where mistakes happen and we don't ship girls to the school for young moms or whatever it's called.  I'm all for waiting and being married, etc. But these people truly don't have anything better to do.  And if you decide to get married and have a kid young, that's your business, not anyone else's.

    I might have been in the same boat as you if I had my kids in my young 20s...I tend to look 5 or so years younger.  I would have punched someone.

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  • and I'm not calling babies "mistakes" but you know what I mean...I hope.Cool
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  • I got that kind of thing a lot when I was engaged. Whenever I would go for a meeting with the wedding planner, when I tried on dresses, etc... People would ask about how I met DH and circle around awkwardly to "soooo, how old are you?" Then respond with, "Oh, good! I thought you were like 16 or 17!", when I told them my age (I was 22 at the time). 

    I find that people's perception of my age tends to reflect what I'm wearing, i.e., jeans+hoodie= getting carded for an R movie.  

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  • It's sad, both my husband and I TRY to look older.... unless I put on extra make-up and dress in more "mature" clothing I still get carded for R movies and nail polish remover, and my husband teaches high school and frequently gets confused as a student.... I have gotten some rude looks and once had someone mutter something I could understand... Something about young kids throwing their lives away.  I sweetly smiled and informed her that We were happily married, in our mid-twenties and both college graduates and in careers in our chosen field.  She looked mortified.  Regardless... no one should be judged on age, economic status etc... a baby  is a gift and a treasure to each mother and her joy should not be stolen by anyone.
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  • I get this ALL the time. My SO and I have a significant age difference (not cradle robber age difference lol but you can tell) and I look young for my age. We get the strangest looks from people when they find out I'm pregnant. I just stare back until they get too embarrassed and look away. Nothing you can do about stupid people, just ignore them. 
  • image heavensbleueyes:
    As we were being seated, the hostess asked me if I wanted a kids menu, I was 23 at the time. I almost ordered an alcohol drink just so they had to card me.

     

    This happens to me a lot! (And I'm a smarta$$ so I have done just that lol) I'm 23 and still get people thinking I'm no older than 16 or 17. People that know me say I look no older than 19-20.  

  • I hear ya! The weekend before my wedding I was inning erronds like taking my dress to the cleaners to e steamed, picking up a present for my hubby at the cigar shop... Etc. I heard from EVERY place I went "are you even old enough to get married?" the first 5 times it was funny and flattering but then after a while I was like omg people I am 25!

    It so weird that total strangera think  opinions should be out there for everyone else to hear.  

    Good job handling them though! 

  • I SO know what you mean! I am 26 but I get comments all the time that I look like I AM 16, 17 ish, I know this will be a good thing someday...right now I don't love it! My husband all the time says he thinks people look at him like he is "robing the craddle" lol I have not experienced people being rude to me like this though because I am pregnant! I cannot imagine how I would react! Knowing me I would make comments about being 14 or something just to further upset the judgmental people, sounds like more fun!
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  • Yep, I'm in the young-looking camp, too.  However, I'm a good bit older than most of you.  I am a couple months shy of 35, and when I went to the doctor for a non-pregnancy related issue the doctor asked me if this is my first baby.  I said, "No, it's my fourth."  Her jaw dropped and she replied, "No way, you look so YOUNG!"  This is coming from a DOCTOR!  I just smiled and said thank you.  I do look young, I can't deny it.  But I hear those comments all the time and it does get annoying.

    I'm very thankful that I look young and not old, though.  My mother is 61 years old and she looks like she is in her late 40s.  And my grandmother is 82 and hardly has a line on her face.  I am very blessed to have good genes!

    Now I will admit that when I see someone who is obviously a teenager (walking home from school, at the mall with a group of young girlfriends, etc) and she is pregnant I DO judge.  I can't help it.  I just feel so sad that her own childhood is going to end in this way and that her chances of having a successful future just plummeted.  Yes, I realize that teenage moms can do great things with their lives and that some do, but statistically it isn't the norm.  And I feel badly for the baby who is likely not going to have an intact family or a "comfortable" life for a while (I'm not sure how else to phrase what I'm thinking).   Is it wrong that I think these things?  I don't think so.  It's human nature and honestly, it's the truth.  I taught jr. high school before having kids and I unfortunately saw this happen too many times.

    Embrace your youthful looks - I'm sure you are a doll and will be a great mommy!

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