Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Saying "No" to your LO?

DS is screaming at the top of his lungs constantly. Not crying, but if he doens't like something, you take something away from him, he wants to be taken out of his crib or while he's playing. To be clear, he's not crying, it's like a squawk box sound.

I understand the discipline issue is a personal one, but are you guys saying "no" to your LO's or are you diverting their attention or saying something positive when you are trying to change a behavior? I'm at a loss.

 

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Re: Saying "No" to your LO?

  • LO does this exact thing! in fact he's at my feet doing it now because he's not getting attention. First I try to entertain him but if I know he's just wanting attention and i am busty cooking or something and I can't get to him,i say no(not loud or harsh) and just let him "screech" it out then keep telling him" no screaming,its not nice,you're okay". usually he looks at me and stops then just goes off and does his own thing
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  • Depends on the activity.

    If DD is practicing her new skill of screaming to get my attention, I ignore her until she stops and then once she is quiet I give her lots of positive attention (I don't want to reward the screaming with any kind of attention, basically, and that includes acknowledging it with even a "no").

    If DD is about to grab something she shouldn't - we say "We don't play with X, Y, or Z" and then I pick her up and redirect her to something more appropriate - "Let's play with your ball!"

    I don't want to be constantly saying "no" all the time - right now we're redirecting as much as possible or using positive reinforcement for desired behaviors (not screeching gets attention but screeching gets ignored). 

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  • DS does this and I often just say Shh and give him attention (pick his up) when he stops. 

    I reserve no to biting, touching covered outlets, pulling hair,  and standing up in the tub

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  • We do use No.  But after reading the other responses, maybe we are saying it too much.  Think I need to rethink my strategy.  It's just that she's into EVERYTHING.  And I try to redirect - but that just doesn't work at all.

    So - usually, we use "no" for touching the few things that are still out that she isn't supposed to play with (dog bowls, a couple of cords we couldn't hide, Mom's coffee cup in the morning...) and then I also have started using "no" for throwing food on the ground.  But it's more like, "Stella, No.  You can't throw food on the ground.  (looks at me, grins, throws it again) If you don't want it, just leave it on your tray.  (throws it again) Stella...please don't throw that down. (laughs, throws it again) No.  Please leave the food on your tray.  If you throw it, it means you are done (looks at me, holds the food out, throws it again)... ok.  I guess your done. (Mom removes tray)....

    UGH

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  • im not sure if this is a good or bad thing but i don't just say no, i say "can you not do that" "no" "please stop" "cut it out" "can you stop" "thats not nice" "thats dangerous" so they are in the no family haha.. i guess i talk to DD like shes 10 , it goes on in different variations.
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  • image daisy889:
    im not sure if this is a good or bad thing but i don't just say no, i say "can you not do that" "no" "please stop" "cut it out" "can you stop" "thats not nice" "thats dangerous" so they are in the no family haha.. i guess i talk to DD like shes 10 , it goes on in different variations.

     

    This is us too.   I think the most common variant is "you need to stop that".


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  • image Scout2005:

    We say no when she hits or bites, and put her down. I don't know that I think she really gets it, all together, but I can see some connection is being made.I don't expect her to really understand, but I figure it can't hurt to start the process.

    And damn it, it hurts when she bites. She has sixth teeth and a strong jaw. 

    Otherwise, we just divert and go with positive words. She likes to pull up her foam mat, for example, and I just scoot her to a new toy and say "let's play with this!" 

    This is us too. If Hen is hurting me, its "No, be gentle." If he doing something that's dangerous, its "No, danger!" Everything else, I stick to positive and diversion.

     

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  • I feel like I've been saying no alot lately, between the dog & DD.  The screaming has recently started too, especially when she wants something.  I'm convinced we're in the terrible 1's that nobody ever speaks of!!
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  • If anything I'm just relieved that I'm not the only saying "no" at this age. I just wondered if there was some other, more effective, way to communicate with him. The screaming is the non-stop issue right now but I'm sure it will be something else soon. Thanks Ladies!
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  • Depending on what he's doing I say no. If he's getting into something dangerous I say no sternly and redirect him. If he's just doing something he shouldn't, I redirect him say something like let's play with this instead.
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  • We are trying to avoid the word "no" at all costs. Mostly because I don't want her learning it and saying it back to me when's she is two.

    Generally I try to redirect her, "let's come down from there","you can have this toy", or "ouchies, biting hurts mommy, we don't bite". It worked with DD1, and helped us stay positive.

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  • If she's climbing on something or generally where she shouldnt be I say RESET and move her to a new toy or something. If she's doing an unacceptable behavior like screaming or poking my eyeball I say No thank you mam.
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  • image bugandbibs:

    We are trying to avoid the word "no" at all costs. Mostly because I don't want her learning it and saying it back to me when's she is two.

    Generally I try to redirect her, "let's come down from there","you can have this toy", or "ouchies, biting hurts mommy, we don't bite". It worked with DD1, and helped us stay positive.

     

    That's a good point about having "no" used against you in a few years.

    Part of me thinks his squawking is really his way of communicating at this point. Either way, it has to stop.

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