August 2012 Moms

Told some co-workers..their reaction?

"Was it planned?"  WTH?  First of all, none of your business.  Second, I've been married for 8 years and have an almost 4 year old.  I think I know how baby making works by now. Third, these people know about my T-TTC with my son, so what makes them think I can have an "oops" baby?  Maybe I'm just hormonal, but that was really annoying.
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Re: Told some co-workers..their reaction?

  • I'd totally be annoyed to!

     A simple "Congrats!" will do, thank you. :)

     

    Kasia 1 John 4:12
  • I agree. I'd be irritated, as well. I was talking to the nurse when I got my second beta levels and I said, "oh well that's great! I'm so glad they're beautifully high!" She said, "Well, yes if you WANT a baby I guess that's what you want. Ummmmmm.........really?
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  • I would be annoyed if I were in your shoes.  That's not a very considerate, or well-thought out thing to say to someone who has had T-TTC in the past.

    A few people in my own family actually asked me this question after the initial excitement/tears/hugs etc. died down.  I tried not to let it get to me, because we chose not to tell anyone we were TTC.  I didn't want Nosey McNosersons asking me if I was pregnant every 5 seconds.  Even still it kind of hurt.

    It's really never a good question to ask.

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  • I am forevever amazed at how intrusive people feel entitled to be when the subject of pregnancy comes up.  Seriously, even the question, "are you trying?" is incredibly personal and frankly, none of anyone else's business.  You are essentially asking someone whether they are having frequent unprotected sex with their partner.  Seriously? 
    Miscarriage in January 2012 at 8 weeks
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  • I feel like EVERYONE asks this. Most people don't know about this bean but with my last pregnancy friends/family/coworkers/strangers they all asked if it was planned. This time I don't think they will since we had a loss last summer I assume they all know we are trying.
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  • It amazes me how many inappropriate comments people make to pregnant people. I actually kept a list when I was pregnant last time. We conceived DD only a couple of weeks after we got married and I was asked the whole pregnancy if I was pregnant at my wedding. Um, no, but so what if I was?  It would be none of your business. 
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  • image Bemyselfandi:
    I agree. I'd be irritated, as well. I was talking to the nurse when I got my second beta levels and I said, "oh well that's great! I'm so glad they're beautifully high!" She said, "Well, yes if you WANT a baby I guess that's what you want. Ummmmmm.........really?

     the nurse said this??!! i'm in disbelief. ugh people! i've been asked if this was planned a couple of times. after all the hugs and that. it's mostly when people realize that i will have 2 under 2 and they say- did you plan it that way?? lol

    -Glo

     

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  • I hate it when people ask me that question. It's very judgemental to me. So sorry you had to deal with idiots!
    ~Those who do not believe in love at first sight have obviously never given birth~ <a href="http://s1082.photobucket.com/albums/j380/Caitlyn_Blake/?action=view
  • image KMac570:
    I am forevever amazed at how intrusive people feel entitled to be when the subject of pregnancy comes up.  Seriously, even the question, "are you trying?" is incredibly personal and frankly, none of anyone else's business.  You are essentially asking someone whether they are having frequent unprotected sex with their partner.  Seriously? 

    You took the words right out of my mouth! It's personal!

    ~Those who do not believe in love at first sight have obviously never given birth~ <a href="http://s1082.photobucket.com/albums/j380/Caitlyn_Blake/?action=view
  • Most people know we did IVF, so they know it is planned. Our exercise coach, though, said, "Did you want a baby?" What a stupid answer, sorry!
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  • That is so rude!  I would be really mad if someone had the guts to say that to me.
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  • It is never okay to ask if a baby was planned, but particularly at work. Who do they think they are? That is so private, and they are rude. Urgh, this makes me so not look forward to announcing.
  • i'm so sorry they were rude Sad its never any fun.  i'm thankfull my co-workes have been supportive.  I don't know what i would do if someone said that to me.
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  • I hope you responded with, "excuse me, did you really ask that"?  Why can't people just say congratulations without editorializing.

    We have been married for over 4 years and our childlessness was not by choice and my father's first reaction was, "Gee, it sure took you long enough." 

    TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12 FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN FET # 2 Feb 2014 No more frosties

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    Why does this have to be so difficult?

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  • At just over 6 weeks I've had my fair-share of bad reactions too. Idk what's with people, especially family members! Sorry you had to deal with that, it's tough!
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  • We've been asked this several times too. DH and I have only been married for 7 months, but have been together for 8 years. So I now respond with "No. I don't know what happen. I guess we forgot how to use birth control after 8 years."
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  • I told my boss last week, a couple weeks earlier than I had originally planned, but there was an issue with leave that needed to be resolved. His first reaction was, are you sure? I just stared at him for a couple of seconds and real slowly said well, I've taken a couple of tests, and I had a doctor's appointment last week, yes I'm sure. I was just shocked that he actually asked me if I was sure, like you know that's something I would just guess as...granted, he's a man who doesn't have any children, and has no plans for any children. But he's worked with enough women over the years to know better. 
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  • I've definitely been asked that same question several times! One person even asked if it was an accident! Some people...
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